I eat baby darts
Once I got hit with a lawn dart and ever since I haven't been able to...perform. If you know what I mean. It's really affected me and I don't know what to do about it. But I'm glad lawn darts are no longer legal. I'm mostly responsible for that, because people felt bad for me. But if anybody's up for some backyard wrestling later on, I just bought a new economy-sized box of thumb tacks!