Rules for Threesomes, part one (crossposted on myspace)
As each of us coasts through our life in this bawdy age of excess, glamor, and decadence we will undoubtedly be forced to tackle problems that generations before haven't had to deal with. Issues such as, "will this cell phone give me a tumor," "will Bovine Growth Hormone make me grow udders," or "what was this MDMA cut with?"
Even as we seek answers to these sometime scary problems, we also have to embrace the new freedoms that come with our new moral age, making phone calls from the toilet, driving 100 miles on a thimble's worth of petrol, taking a trip to space for a mere $200,000, and of course, casual no-strings sex with multiple partners.
When engaging in swinging sexual activity, it's important you maintain good ground rules. Consider the following to be good advice, rather than explicit commandments, but you'll be better off in the if you go along.
First Scenario: Hetero Couple with a Female
1. Condoms!
2. The male who finds himself in this position should first thank the Lord, and second, hold himself to a steadfast rule: don't not, under any circumstances, initiate contact with the new girl. Go ahead and get things going with your partner, but don't even touch the other girl. Let her touch you or your girlfriend, and let your girlfriend touch her, but hands off. This will let your SO ease into the situation, and gives her control, thus minimizing the possibility of hurt feelings, and increasing the chance of a repeat.
3. Along with #1, the guy should maintain a 2:1 Girlfriend to new girl activity ratio, for the reasons listed above. While this may seem like a lame rule, remind yourself that half a piece of ass is better than none at all.
4. DO WHATEVER YOUR GIRLFRIEND ASKS. Again, see above.
5. This goes for both the male and female in the couple: do not engage in any sexual activity with the third girl without your partner in the room. This will greatly reduce the potential for hurt feelings, as humans have a tendency to let their imaginations run wild when presented with the unknown.
6. Make sure everyone gets their cookie.
7. For the guy, once you've had your threesome, never, ever ask to do it again. If your girl was into it, she'll let you know. If not, it's best if you don't bring it up. And don't get all mopey if that's the case. You've already experienced something most men would chop a finger off to do.
So there you have it, rules to do it by. Next time we'll explore the intricacies of the SECOND MAN.
Even as we seek answers to these sometime scary problems, we also have to embrace the new freedoms that come with our new moral age, making phone calls from the toilet, driving 100 miles on a thimble's worth of petrol, taking a trip to space for a mere $200,000, and of course, casual no-strings sex with multiple partners.
When engaging in swinging sexual activity, it's important you maintain good ground rules. Consider the following to be good advice, rather than explicit commandments, but you'll be better off in the if you go along.
First Scenario: Hetero Couple with a Female
1. Condoms!
2. The male who finds himself in this position should first thank the Lord, and second, hold himself to a steadfast rule: don't not, under any circumstances, initiate contact with the new girl. Go ahead and get things going with your partner, but don't even touch the other girl. Let her touch you or your girlfriend, and let your girlfriend touch her, but hands off. This will let your SO ease into the situation, and gives her control, thus minimizing the possibility of hurt feelings, and increasing the chance of a repeat.
3. Along with #1, the guy should maintain a 2:1 Girlfriend to new girl activity ratio, for the reasons listed above. While this may seem like a lame rule, remind yourself that half a piece of ass is better than none at all.
4. DO WHATEVER YOUR GIRLFRIEND ASKS. Again, see above.
5. This goes for both the male and female in the couple: do not engage in any sexual activity with the third girl without your partner in the room. This will greatly reduce the potential for hurt feelings, as humans have a tendency to let their imaginations run wild when presented with the unknown.
6. Make sure everyone gets their cookie.
7. For the guy, once you've had your threesome, never, ever ask to do it again. If your girl was into it, she'll let you know. If not, it's best if you don't bring it up. And don't get all mopey if that's the case. You've already experienced something most men would chop a finger off to do.
So there you have it, rules to do it by. Next time we'll explore the intricacies of the SECOND MAN.