wow livejournal crazyness
i am a despirate male seeking only friendship connections in the tampa bay area. i am extremly geeky and have a weird personality, i have a habbit of crushing other people horribly, and a habbit of keeping things in much longer than they should be kept.
i am also still quite fond of my friends from the past. its been ages, i'm 21 and 1/4 years old and i feel there is something missing. i miss you guys, i miss ryan, i miss heather, i miss matt, i miss lisa, i miss bucket, i miss jason, i miss laughs, i miss ally mcfeel, i miss jeremy, i miss that perfect circle that was my sanctity for a longer time, i miss katt and playing kingdom hearts forever while heather slept on the couch. i miss the internet crazyness and the 'are you wearing that dress i like?'. i miss stevo, i miss bob, i miss libby (but not in 'that' way), i miss barbara. and to some degree i miss bitching at you all for stupid things while an apartment got ripped apart from the constant parties, smoke outs, and illicit activities. i miss the fog machine, i miss the cthulhu, i miss the suicide club, i miss the beach, i miss the fire at that house and going to village inn then to clearwater, i miss the 'oregano'. i miss the band. i miss the castle, i miss getting a tattoo because ryan couldn't get into the castle, i miss the plans both big and small between you and i and i and you. i miss jess, i miss luis, and if i somehow have forgotten your name and your not on that list i miss you too and its too late for me...
i miss songs sung when drunk, but not the aftermath of walking around naked. i miss the cans of mountain dew strewn about the apartment. i miss the manic screams of heather in the bathroom. i miss a lot of things, but i wont say i regret this road. i found a person i think i belong with, and my life has changed to a better more managed one, but i now realize that choice came at a cost, i've lost you all. but then again maybe i never really had you, or it was just a one sided thing. you guys hanging around enjoying the company of the person i was dating / with? if thats the case, quite frankly a part of me wishes you to burn in the circles of hell, but most of me feels like shit. you all may hate me in the end, as i think some of you do, but to hell if that really matters to me. i wont let that tarnish the fact that i do miss you. all of you. i'm sorry it came to this, and I am just realizing i never said I was sorry. I am sorry for how things turned out, I am sorry to both you guys and her, its just those things, two people over a couple of years can change and I for one didn't want to go down that road anymore, there wasn't a way to fix it and she seems happier (or so i hear) now.
you guys knew her, you guys were introduced to me, and i was and still am a fool for loving you guys... but i'll keep on caring about you. sorry if this was overdramatic....................................................................................
i am also still quite fond of my friends from the past. its been ages, i'm 21 and 1/4 years old and i feel there is something missing. i miss you guys, i miss ryan, i miss heather, i miss matt, i miss lisa, i miss bucket, i miss jason, i miss laughs, i miss ally mcfeel, i miss jeremy, i miss that perfect circle that was my sanctity for a longer time, i miss katt and playing kingdom hearts forever while heather slept on the couch. i miss the internet crazyness and the 'are you wearing that dress i like?'. i miss stevo, i miss bob, i miss libby (but not in 'that' way), i miss barbara. and to some degree i miss bitching at you all for stupid things while an apartment got ripped apart from the constant parties, smoke outs, and illicit activities. i miss the fog machine, i miss the cthulhu, i miss the suicide club, i miss the beach, i miss the fire at that house and going to village inn then to clearwater, i miss the 'oregano'. i miss the band. i miss the castle, i miss getting a tattoo because ryan couldn't get into the castle, i miss the plans both big and small between you and i and i and you. i miss jess, i miss luis, and if i somehow have forgotten your name and your not on that list i miss you too and its too late for me...
i miss songs sung when drunk, but not the aftermath of walking around naked. i miss the cans of mountain dew strewn about the apartment. i miss the manic screams of heather in the bathroom. i miss a lot of things, but i wont say i regret this road. i found a person i think i belong with, and my life has changed to a better more managed one, but i now realize that choice came at a cost, i've lost you all. but then again maybe i never really had you, or it was just a one sided thing. you guys hanging around enjoying the company of the person i was dating / with? if thats the case, quite frankly a part of me wishes you to burn in the circles of hell, but most of me feels like shit. you all may hate me in the end, as i think some of you do, but to hell if that really matters to me. i wont let that tarnish the fact that i do miss you. all of you. i'm sorry it came to this, and I am just realizing i never said I was sorry. I am sorry for how things turned out, I am sorry to both you guys and her, its just those things, two people over a couple of years can change and I for one didn't want to go down that road anymore, there wasn't a way to fix it and she seems happier (or so i hear) now.
you guys knew her, you guys were introduced to me, and i was and still am a fool for loving you guys... but i'll keep on caring about you. sorry if this was overdramatic....................................................................................