(no subject)
It's kinda crazy how a year ago I wouldn't in a million years have imagined my life like this. It's weird how things work out and I just really wonder if it's meant to happen for the better and I will figure that out a year from now.
A year ago I was the happiest person in the world with an amazing boyfriend who cared about me and loved me more than anything. I had so many amazing friends that cared about me and would do anything for me and I would do anything for them. I could talk to my best friend about anything and everything and she could tell me anything that was bothering her. When she would come home from college, I could just sit and talk with her for hours. My family and I were really close and I worked all the time just so I could get away from everything.
In the course of a year, the boyfriend that I thought I would spend the rest of my life with slowly drifted from my life and before when work was my place to escape, now it had become a place I didn't want to be at anymore. My boyfriend and I got into more and more fights and college was aproaching faster than we expected. I wasn't ready to leave the home I grew up in and spent everyday in. I wasn't ready to leave my family, because I had never been away from them. I didn't want things to get worse between my boyfriend and I. But they did. The fighting got worse and after spending the day with my best friend at Sommerset just venting, I realized that I couldn't be with the love of my life anymore. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do, but I broke up with him. It ended badly. I tried to tell myself that it would be for the best. I started hanging out with my friends more and it made me happy. But only temporarily.
It was time for college. It was time to leave my family. It was time to leave my sister that I love and adore and spent 14 years of my life with just hanging out. It was time to leave the town filled of memories of the love of my life. I looked out the window as I slowly drove away from Rochester. I told myself that it would be ok, and everything would get better.
I was still upset from the breakup and as I met more and more people at college, I still had my best friend that knew and understood me better than anyone else. Sometimes I wondered if she knew me better than I did. I met a guy. We hit it off great and I was happy to finally hang out with a guy without feeling bad about it. I made a bad decision as all teenagers do. I don't really regret it. It made me feel happy at first. I met more and more people. My old friends were still there. My best friend slowly stopped hanging out with me. My other friend that I wasn't as close with in highschool became my closest friend. She's always there when I need her and we hang out everyday. She is like my sister now and I don't know what I would do without her. Slowly, the one who I thought was my best friend that I could come to with anything, started staying down in her room and being upset with me about nothing. I shrugged it off because I assumed she was just having a bad day. That bad day turned into a bad month and things just spirled out of nowhere. I didn't know what was happening as I watched my best friend disapear from my life. Angry words were thrown back and forth. I wanted to stay out of it and hoped things would work itself out. I thought she could come to me and tell me anything that was bothering her. But I guess I was wrong.
Two of the most important people in my life one year ago are now almost nonexistant in my life.
I met another guy. We are relatively close now. Really good friends I would say. We spend every night just talking. We sit around and he just holds me in his arms and I feel safe. But I keep thinking to myself that every guy is just going to hurt you and there is no point. I've only been in college for a little over two months now. It seems like forever though.
Most of all I miss my little sister. I can't stand it. I need her to be here with me. But she's not. I can't wait to see her again over Thanksgiving. I feel like she is just so different now. She has grown up so much. And I'm not there to see it.
Who would have thought my life could have changed this much within a year. I never saw it coming. I just want things to be back to normal. I want to go back in time.
A year ago I was the happiest person in the world with an amazing boyfriend who cared about me and loved me more than anything. I had so many amazing friends that cared about me and would do anything for me and I would do anything for them. I could talk to my best friend about anything and everything and she could tell me anything that was bothering her. When she would come home from college, I could just sit and talk with her for hours. My family and I were really close and I worked all the time just so I could get away from everything.
In the course of a year, the boyfriend that I thought I would spend the rest of my life with slowly drifted from my life and before when work was my place to escape, now it had become a place I didn't want to be at anymore. My boyfriend and I got into more and more fights and college was aproaching faster than we expected. I wasn't ready to leave the home I grew up in and spent everyday in. I wasn't ready to leave my family, because I had never been away from them. I didn't want things to get worse between my boyfriend and I. But they did. The fighting got worse and after spending the day with my best friend at Sommerset just venting, I realized that I couldn't be with the love of my life anymore. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do, but I broke up with him. It ended badly. I tried to tell myself that it would be for the best. I started hanging out with my friends more and it made me happy. But only temporarily.
It was time for college. It was time to leave my family. It was time to leave my sister that I love and adore and spent 14 years of my life with just hanging out. It was time to leave the town filled of memories of the love of my life. I looked out the window as I slowly drove away from Rochester. I told myself that it would be ok, and everything would get better.
I was still upset from the breakup and as I met more and more people at college, I still had my best friend that knew and understood me better than anyone else. Sometimes I wondered if she knew me better than I did. I met a guy. We hit it off great and I was happy to finally hang out with a guy without feeling bad about it. I made a bad decision as all teenagers do. I don't really regret it. It made me feel happy at first. I met more and more people. My old friends were still there. My best friend slowly stopped hanging out with me. My other friend that I wasn't as close with in highschool became my closest friend. She's always there when I need her and we hang out everyday. She is like my sister now and I don't know what I would do without her. Slowly, the one who I thought was my best friend that I could come to with anything, started staying down in her room and being upset with me about nothing. I shrugged it off because I assumed she was just having a bad day. That bad day turned into a bad month and things just spirled out of nowhere. I didn't know what was happening as I watched my best friend disapear from my life. Angry words were thrown back and forth. I wanted to stay out of it and hoped things would work itself out. I thought she could come to me and tell me anything that was bothering her. But I guess I was wrong.
Two of the most important people in my life one year ago are now almost nonexistant in my life.
I met another guy. We are relatively close now. Really good friends I would say. We spend every night just talking. We sit around and he just holds me in his arms and I feel safe. But I keep thinking to myself that every guy is just going to hurt you and there is no point. I've only been in college for a little over two months now. It seems like forever though.
Most of all I miss my little sister. I can't stand it. I need her to be here with me. But she's not. I can't wait to see her again over Thanksgiving. I feel like she is just so different now. She has grown up so much. And I'm not there to see it.
Who would have thought my life could have changed this much within a year. I never saw it coming. I just want things to be back to normal. I want to go back in time.