i've got nothing
It is becoming increasingly difficult to maintain a neutral interest in anything. Things are becoming more melancholy yet border on indifference. Which is cold and distant and removed, as though disengaged from the act of living. No longer amendable to change. Rather like a plastic toy that will persist, unchanged, through the ages.
My living has always been bland and leach-like. This life seems good and full when I am around a person whose vitality can be reaped from. Their rhythm and light fill a vacuum I survive around and I can feel whole, but somehow at their expense. And how sad when they grow tired of donating energy to me! I am left to recoil back to the impersonal, anemic ‘friendship’ of those who are as me. And we are floundering fish on the shore, gulping air we cannot use into our wide mouths and paralleling our uncomforted suffering.
My living has always been bland and leach-like. This life seems good and full when I am around a person whose vitality can be reaped from. Their rhythm and light fill a vacuum I survive around and I can feel whole, but somehow at their expense. And how sad when they grow tired of donating energy to me! I am left to recoil back to the impersonal, anemic ‘friendship’ of those who are as me. And we are floundering fish on the shore, gulping air we cannot use into our wide mouths and paralleling our uncomforted suffering.