my contemporary tragedy
the canine diagnosis was ammended on monday. the cells would seem not to have traveled from node to marrow but rather from marrow to node. now the chance for response to chemo is low. if she doesn't respond we have about 2-3 weeks left. she hasn't been responding thus far. she has no other type of white blood cell evident other then the rogue ones (fucking cancer) and her reds are not being replaced. weaker and weaker. she gets one good tail wagging session a day and must spend the remaining hours sleeping. rarely eats no matter how enticing the treat. i went to petsmart last night in search of something. a particularly rank treat seemed perfect for the dog pallate and she was thrilled. an hour later, she vomited it all up then sighed and slept until 10 this morning. this is depressing the hell out of me. it is far tougher than i would have imagined. i share great empathy for all forms of loss right now. it is really the magnitude of a human's attachment, not the object on which the attachment is placed, that creates the scale of mournful suffering.