HELL NO

Jan 17, 2010 00:05

Title: 5 Times Yabu Thought The Phrase 'Hell No' Was In Order
Author: hotfruits
Rating: PG-13
Character(s): Yabu-centric. HSJ. Shoon. (some bashing XD) Tegoshi and Jin. Takabu love~ (Chiitaro) (Okajima vs Hikato)
Disclaimer: Nope
Summary: "OH HELL NO YOU ARE NOT SEXING UP MY BABY!”

AN: Written for the Yabu-thon.


One

When Yabu walked into the JUMP practice room that morning, he wasn’t ready to be met with seven scared faces, running around in circles and yelling frantically at the center of the room, in hopes that their shrieks would break up the fight.

And Yabu knew that as the reluctant leader and oldest member of JUMP, he had a responsibility to stop fights, no matter how ridiculous they were. Like that time Chinen stabbed Daiki with a fork because he cuddled on Ryutaro, or that other time Inoo shoved a strawberry down Yamada’s throat and attempted to choke him to death because he called the older boy a girl. No matter how much he tried to fight it, it was his job to make sure that his members did not light each other on fire, pull each other’s hair out or attempt to blind one another with curling irons.

Still, there were times when Yabu just couldn’t do it, like right now, as he watched Yuto and Hikaru fight over Keito, wielding broken chairs as weapons.

“Hell no,” Yabu shook his head and walked away.

Two

Shopping with Takaki was always an interesting experience for Yabu, one that he normally enjoyed when the other would try on short skimpy dresses and model for Yabu, shaking his cute little ass and letting his bangs fall sexily into his eyes. Yes, these experiences were most definitely enjoyed by Yabu, but sometimes they could be…a little creepy.

“What do you think?” Takaki laughed, modeling the ugly moo-moo that should only be worn by sixty year old women.

Yabu got up and grabbed the ends of the dress, lifting it up and away from Takaki’s body, leaving the boy standing in nothing but his blue briefs, “Hell no,” Yabu laughed, throwing the offending garment to the ground and stomping on it.

Three

“Hell no!” Yabu shouted, shoving Shoon off of his lap, “Dude, I will seriously kill you!”

“But my new play has a kissing scene,” Shoon whined from the floor, batting his eyes at Yabu, “And I haven’t kissed anyone in awhile and you’re my closest friend, please?”

Yabu frowned, but then sighed, nodding his head reluctantly, “Alright, but no telling anyone!”

Four
Chinen sipped his tea carefully, looking over the rim of the cup and straight into Yabu’s eyes. He watched his friend for a few moments, ignoring his weirded out expression as he set his cup back down, clearing his throat.

“I have something to ask of you,” he said, hands folded over his lap, “And please, don’t yell at me when I ask you this question.”

Yabu nodded, so Chinen continued, “How do two guys have sex? Cause you and Takaki have been dating for years, so I’m assuming you-”

“OH HELL NO YOU ARE NOT SEXING UP MY BABY!” Yabu shouted, standing up quickly and exiting the crowded café in a huff, leaving Chinen sitting awkwardly alone as everyone eyed him curiously.

Five

When Yabu heard from Inoo who was talking to Tegoshi earlier that day, who was speaking to Ueda the night before over drinks that Jin needed to talk to him, he didn’t know what to think. First he asked Inoo why the hell was he talking with Tegoshi, and then he had to make sure that the older Johnny never drugged Inoo and molested him. After clarifying that Inoo was still relatively pure, Yabu ventured on over towards the KAT-TUN practice room and entered without knocking, covering his eyes as he stumbled in.

“Is Jin here?” he asked, taking his hand off of his eyes when he felt himself being pulled into a familiar hug.

“Yabuchii!” Jin squealed, pulling away from the hug and smiling down at Yabu, “I’m glad you’re here, I have something to ask you!”

“Okay,” Yabu smiled back, “What’s up?”

“Do you think I’m getting fat again?” Jin pouted, looking down at his stomach and squeezing a little role of fat, “Cause Tegoshi said I was fat but he’s just a whore, right?”

Yabu laughed, “What? Hell no, you’re not fat! You’re just fine Jin, you look perfect!”

“Thanks Yabuchii!” Jin rushed forward and glomped Yabu, which normally would have hurt but thankfully, his squishy body cushioned the blow.

“Anytime Jin,” Yabu patted the others shoulder, “Anytime.”

p: takaki/yabu, kat-tun, rating: pg-13, hey!say!jump

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