happy halloween ♥
Title: It's Hard to Say Goodbye
Author: hotfruits
Beta: littlemelonblue
Rating: PG-13
Characters: Yamada/Yuto. Yamada/Keito.
Disclaimer: Don't own.
Summary: AU! It's been several months since Yuto died, and Yamada still hasn't gotten over it. Yuto begins haunting his best friend Keito, wanting him to help Yamada move on because Yuto can't fully leave while he's like this. A new love is formed and Yuto is able to rest in peace.
Written for this prompt at the jetrickortreat meme.
After his shift at the restaurant, Keito stumbled into his apartment, loosening his tie along the way and dropping his coat onto the couch. Going into the kitchen, he grabbed a glass of water before making his way back towards the small living room, sitting down on the couch with a small ‘plop’ as he turned on the TV.
“Yo~!”
Keito screamed, glass of water flying into the air as he chucked the TV remote at his best friend.
His dead best friend.
“Hey, watch that!” Yuto shouted, even though the remote just passed right through him.
Keito blinked, and then promptly fainted, falling onto the couch face first.
***
An hour later, Keito opened his eyes, a painful headache forming as he sat up with a groan. The TV was still on, some romantic drama playing, and his thoughts of ‘oh, what a crazy dream’ vanished from his mind when he saw Yuto watching the drama, completely enraptured by it.
“Damnit, don’t go back to him!” Yuto shouted at the TV, “He’s only going to cheat on you again!”
“Um,” Keito started, and then cleared his throat, Yuto turning towards him with a grin. “This can’t be happening, you’re not,” Keito shook his head, the words dying on his lips.
“I am,” Yuto responded, answering Keito’s silent question, “I am Yuto Nakajima, your best friend since high school, who died four months ago when I was shot during a bank robbery.”
Keito gulped, eyes wide as Yuto got up and sat next to him.
This…person, certainly did look a lot like Yuto; he had his firm jaw, thin lips, charismatic double eyelids and the cute little freckle under his left eye.
“Keito, it’s me,” Yuto smiled, the one Keito has known since he was sixteen years old and his heart jumped, believing, while his mind, the obviously more rational part of him, completely denied it.
“Let’s see, how can I get you to believe me,” Yuto hummed under his breath, leaning against the couch as he thought. Keito watched him, his thoughts and emotions in a complete whirlwind of just…nothing, but everything, all at the same time.
“I know,” Yuto chuckled, looking back into Keito’s eyes, “When we were seventeen years old, your Dad went to England on business and we broke into his liquor cabinet,” Yuto paused, chuckling some more, “We got so wasted, oh man.”
“I got wasted with Chinen too,” Keito said quietly, his eyes watering.
“Yeah, but you didn’t make out with Chinen and get matching tattoos with him,” Yuto said, lifting up his shirt to show off the little leprechaun he had tattooed on his hip.
Keito’s heart stopped, his breathing along with it as he reached out, but then stopped, remembering what happened with the remote. He looked back up at Yuto, sniffling, tears now falling down his cheeks.
“Oh my god, Yuto,” is all he managed to choke out before he broke, his dead best friend giving him a saddened smile.
***
It took Keito awhile to regain his composure, his eyes puffy and red, his nose stuffed and his throat sore. Yuto sat by him the whole time, hands in his laps as he waited, quietly watching some random game show on TV.
“Yuto,” Keito coughed, his voice thick from crying, “How is this…?”
“It’s Ryo-chan,” Yuto answered, sighing softly, “When people die, their souls just sort of, go,” Yuto began, choosing his words carefully, “But then sometimes, a person’s soul can’t go, because someone else is holding on to it too tightly.”
“This sounds like a bad movie,” Keito murmured, and Yuto snickered, shaking his head.
“Where do you think movies like that get their inspiration?” Yuto stated, before continuing, “Keito, I’m trapped here on Earth, not fully dead but obviously not alive either.”
“He’s having a really hard time letting you go,” Keito replied, eyes downcast. “He’s doing better than before,” Keito paused, thinking back for a moment; the first month after Yuto’s death had been hell on them, and for awhile Keito was worried he was going to have to suffer through the death of two best friends. He had managed to get Yamada through it though, some what.
“I think living in your guys’ apartment was really the worst of it for him,” Keito glanced over at Yuto, “Constantly being around your guys stuff, the memories…He lived here for awhile, actually, but he’s been at his parents for about a month now.”
Yuto nodded, “I know, and thank you Keito, so much. I know things were kind of rocky between us after Ryo-chan and I got together, but knowing that you’re there for him has really eased a lot of my worries.”
“Of course,” Keito couldn’t help but smile; it was true, things were tense at first but after getting to know Yamada, he didn’t mind sharing his best friend with the younger boy, especially after he and Yamada formed a good friendship of their own. It only seemed natural now to take care of him.
“Keito, I need you to help me,” Yuto said, his expression completely serious, “I love you, and I love Ryo-chan, but it’s time for me to move on. My soul is ready to be at rest.”
“I, yeah,” Keito stuttered, nodding his head, “Just, how do I do it? How can I get Ryosuke to let you go?”
Yuto smiled, “Don’t worry, I’ve got a plan. Call him up tomorrow morning and ask him to meet up with you in Shibuya.”
Keito raised a brow, but agreed none-the-less, and the two best friends watched TV, laughing at the ridiculous game show until Keito fell asleep, quietly snoring next to Yuto.
***
The next morning, Keito brushed his teeth as Yuto sat on the toilet next to him, chattering away.
“It was really funny too!” Yuto laughed, slapping his thigh, “I mean, a real ghost in one of those cheesy haunted houses? I had little kids pissing their pants!”
“Even in the afterlife, you’re completely insane,” Keito mumbled, mouth full of toothpaste as he rolled his eyes. Spitting it out, Keito wiped his mouth with the back of his hand before beginning to fix his hair, fluffing out the side and top with his fingers.
“So, what exactly is this plan of yours?” Keito asked as he plugged in his straightener, waiting for it to heat up so he could fix his bangs.
“I’m not telling you,” Yuto sang childishly, chuckling, “Just trust me on this, you’ll be helping Ryo-chan, yourself and me. It’s a win-win-win situation.”
“Alright, but why Shibuya? I thought Ryosuke kind of hated it there, since it’s so crowded and he’s rather shy.”
Yuto shrugged, “I know, and I always indulged Ryo-chan and his odd quirks. I don’t want you to though, and now is a good time as ever to bring him out of his shell.”
Keito grabbed his straightener, placing his bangs in between the two hot plates. He pressed down, hearing the straightener hiss as he slowly pulled it down. “You sure your plan is going to work?” Keito asked again, repeating the process.
Yuto grinned, “It will.”
***
A few hours later and Keito found himself walking down the busy streets of Shibuya with Yamada, the younger boy huddling close to him as he tried to avoid bumping into random strangers.
“Why did I agree to this,” Yamada mumbled to himself, his glasses perched low onto his nose after another person bumped into him, “I don’t like it here, why couldn’t we just hang out at your place?”
Remembering Yuto’s words, Keito just wrapped an arm around the other and pulled him close, giving him a one-armed hug, “I don’t know, it just seemed like a good idea to go out and try something new.”
“You’re insane,” Yamada replied, but didn’t complain any further, just pressed himself closer to Keito.
“Hey, let’s get some ice cream,” Keito said after a few moments of silence, grabbing Yamada’s hand and pulling him into a little café.
“Ice cream? Keito, it’s December,” Yamada reminded him, rolling his eyes as they went up towards the cash register. “You’re acting really weird.”
“Maybe you’re just not weird enough,” Keito replied, and he smiled when Yamada cracked a smile at this.
“You want weird? Well, okay,” Yamada looked at the menu, seeing what ice cream flavors they had, “Can I get a double scoop, one mint chocolate and one cookie dough.”
Keito raised a brow at this, “For as long as I’ve known you, you’ve always gotten strawberry.”
Yamada shrugged, accepting the ice cream from the girl behind the register, “I guess your weirdness is rubbing off on me,” he said, waiting for Keito to order before taking a seat at a table for two, Keito following behind him.
The two ate their ice cream in comfortable silence, occasionally breaking it to ask how work was going and if the other was taking good care of themselves. Once they finished, they threw away their empty ice cream cups and left the café, shivering.
“Okay, so maybe ice cream in December was a bit stupid,” Keito laughed, Yamada joining him as they huddled together, walking down the street.
“That’s alright, I’m actually having a good time,” Yamada said quietly, a small smile on his face, “You know, I’ve never been here with Yuto.”
Keito looked over at Yamada as the boy continued, “I’m too shy and awkward and he was comfortable just being where I was, but,” Yamada paused, his smile widening, “I’m having a really good time. Thank you.”
Keito nodded, glancing over his shoulder to see Yuto giving him a thumbs up.
“We should do this again sometime,” Keito turned back towards Yamada, “Or whatever, it’s nice getting out of the house and away from my thoughts for awhile.”
Keito nodded, thinking, “Well, I can get off work early on Tuesday, maybe we can go out for dinner then?”
“Sounds good,” Yamada said, looping his arm with Keito’s, “Let’s get Italian or something, I’ve never tried it before. Oh!” Yamada stopped, pointing up towards the mall in front of them, “Let’s go inside, it looks warm!”
“Okay,” the two took off down the street, laughing as they ducked through the crowds of people.
Yuto followed lazily behind them, hands in his pockets.
***
“Ryo-chan looked really happy today,” Yuto said as soon as they entered Keito’s apartment, following Keito to the couch.
“Yeah, but you know, it was kind of weird hanging out with him when I could see his dead boyfriend following us around,” Keito said dryly, tucking his feet under him as he turned on the TV.
“Sorry, couldn’t help it,” Yuto smiled, “It makes me really happy, seeing you two together.”
Keito glanced over at Yuto, sleepily eyeing the other boy.
“I love this drama!” Yuto changed the subject, pointing to the TV. “It’s about this girl in debt who ends up marrying this old man and living with his crazy sons…”
Keito listened to Yuto with half an ear, his eyes falling shut as he slowly fell asleep.
It was nice, having his best friend back.
***
Keito busied himself with work, and spending time with Yuto in his apartment, until his next meet up with Yamada. He called up his friend Chinen before hand, asking him if there were any good Italian restaurants near Yamada’s parent’s place.
“Hmm, yeah,” Chinen mumbled on the phone, and Keito could various papers rustling around, “There’s one in that area, called Iorio. It’s expensive but the food is worth it, seriously.”
Keito thanked Chinen, hanging up the phone as his boss walked by. “Hey, Yabu-san,” Keito called out, catching up with the older male, “Is it okay if I take off a half-hour early? I’ve got plans with my friend Yamada.”
Yabu paused, looking over at Keito, “Yamada, that’s the one who was dating your friend, right?”
Keito nodded. “Okay, just get here early tomorrow then,” Yabu said, and Keito thanked him, taking off his apron and hanging it up. “See you guys tomorrow!” he called out to the other waiters, giving them a wave as he left.
“Finally!” Yuto sighed exasperatedly, “You work way too many hours here.”
“Gotta pay the bills,” Keito replied, wrapping his scarf further around his neck, hands shoved into his coat pocket. “Hey, can you feel the cold at all?”
Yuto shook his head. “No, well, not the cold you feel as someone who is alive.”
“There’s a different kind of cold for dead people?” Keito asked, curious as they crossed the street.
“Yeah, it’s hard to explain though,” Yuto started, feeling his skin, “Have you ever touched a dead body?”
“Just yours,” Keito replied.
“Well, my skin was cold, right?” Keito nodded at this, “It’s like that, except I feel it inside of me too. Just the coldness you get when you’re dead.”
“Oh,” Keito said quietly, walking up the steps to the train he needed to take to get to Yamada’s area. “Are you coming with us tonight, or…?”
“I might pop in,” Yuto grinned, staying on the sidewalk as Keito stepped onto the train. “Have fun~!” he called out as the doors closed, waving and Keito waved back, until a girl around his age gave him a weird stare, and then he remembered that only he could see Yuto.
Clearing his throat, Keito avoided the girl’s eyes and took a seat, sending a quick message to Yamada that he was on his way.
***
Entering the dimly lit restaurant, Keito smiled when he saw Yamada and walked over to the other boy, giving him a hug.
“Hey, glad you could make it,” Keito said, pulling away from the hug. With an arm still around Yamada’s waist, the two walked over to the hostess and Keito gave him his name.
“Okamoto,” the woman mumbled under her breath, “Ah, there you are, follow me,” she said, grabbing two menu’s and leading them further into the restaurant, sitting them down at a fairly secluded table. “Enjoy your meal,” she smiled, handing them the menus before wandering off.
“This place is expensive,” Yamada commented as he read the menu, eyebrows raised, “Wow, what made you choose this place?”
“Chinen,” Keito responded, making a quick mental note to yell at him later; yeah, expensive was a bit of an understatement. This place was going to cost him an arm and a leg.
“Chinen?” Yamada’s nose wrinkled, peering over at Keito from the top of the menu, “Your weird ex-boyfriend from high school?”
“That’s the one,” Keito laughed, shoulders shaking a little, “How do you even remember that? You didn’t go to our school until our final year, and Chinen and I were pretty much done by then.”
“Pretty much done, but not quite,” Yamada rolled his eyes, “Remember, I was the one who caught you guys fondling each other on the roof.”
Keito snorted as he laughed, remembering the event all too well. Yamada hadn’t been able to look him in the eye for weeks afterwards, until Keito eventually cornered him in the restroom and forced the boy to talk to him. By that time, he and Chinen had already broken up, but they didn’t let that stop their friendship.
“What’s Chinen up to these days?” Yamada asked as the waiter filled their glasses with water, taking a sip once the waiter finished.
“He’s working at his father’s company, computer manufacturing and stuff,” Keito responded, grabbing his glass, “It’s so strange, Chinen is a serious genius but he’s so childish,” Keito shook his head, taking a drink, “I don’t understand him.”
“Maybe that’s for the best,” Yamada said absent-mindedly, before setting the menu down, arms crossed over his chest. “So, I don’t know about you, but I’m thinking the food here is too expensive and we should just order pie and booze. You in?”
Keito coughed, choking on his water.
“I’ll take that as a yes,” Yamada smirked, calling their waiter over with his hand.
Keito watched in hopeless amusement as Yamada ordered two slices of chocolate pie, and two glasses of some alcohol he had never heard of before.
“This is going to be fun,” Yamada chuckled, leaning back into his seat, and Keito nodded, glancing around to make sure Yuto wasn’t there.
He had a feeling his dead best friend wouldn’t appreciate it if he let his boyfriend get drunk.
***
Four slices of pie later, and more alcohol than they should have consumed, Keito paid the check and the two stumbled out of the restaurant, giggling as they leaned against each other.
“Oh my god, I feel like dancing,” Yamada broke away from their cuddle, arms in the air as he twirled around on the sidewalk, his feet splashing against the wet ground; Keito figured it had probably rained while they were in the restaurant.
“Keito, dance with me~!” Yamada smiled, skipping towards the other and throwing his arms around his neck. Keito caught him easily enough and twirled him around, smiling when Yamada shrieked with laughter.
The sky had begun to drizzle as Keito set Yamada back down, arms around his waist when the younger boy swayed a little.
“Whoa there,” Keito chuckled, holding Yamada close, brushing his now damp bangs out of his eyes. “Let’s get you home and in bed, okay?”
Yamada nodded, his eyes half-lidded. “Okay,” he smiled, clutching Keito’s arm as the two walked towards his parent’s house.
They made it there a few minutes later, standing outside the small home Keito remembers spending his final teenage years hanging out at.
“I had a lot of fun tonight,” Keito said as Yamada pulled him in for a hug, burying his flushed face against his neck, “I’m sorry I haven’t really been around lately, work is just-”
“It’s okay,” Yamada shook his head, sniffling a little, “I know being around me is hard, just like how it’s hard for me to be around you. I miss him so much,” Yamada said, his voice cracking.
“Hey, hey don’t cry,” Keito sighed, pulling Yamada closer. “I miss him too, but it’s going to be okay.”
“Can we, can we hang out more often?” Yamada asked, stepping back from the hug, tears in his eyes, “I know you’re busy with work, and I really don’t want to burden you, but,” Yamada paused, wiping away a tear that broke loose, “The only time I’m not crying and unhappy is when I’m with you.”
“Of course Ryosuke,” Keito brought his hands to Yamada’s cheeks, brushing away the tears, “I’m always here for you, okay?”
Yamada nodded, hugging Keito again before grabbing his keys and unlocking the front door, quickly entering his house.
Keito sighed, running a hand through his wet hair as he made his way towards the train that would take him home. When he reached the station, he saw Yuto sitting there, idly twiddling his thumbs.
“Hey,” Yuto greeted, standing up and entering the train with him. Thankfully, the cart they sat in was completely empty, so Keito didn’t have to worry about people judging him as he relayed tonight’s events to Yuto.
“I’m so glad Ryo-chan has you,” Yuto sighed, resting his head against the window in the cart. He closed his eyes, and Keito noted for the first time that Yuto never breathed.
“Yuto, can I tell you something?” Keito asked, his voice barely above a whisper.
“Of course, we’re best friends,” Yuto opened his eyes, turning towards Keito with a smile.
“When we were standing outside Ryosuke’s house, I um,” Keito paused, brows furrowed, “I felt, I felt something,” he said awkwardly, “I’m sure it’s just the alcohol but I, I wanted to kiss him,” he said the last part in a rush, sort of hoping Yuto didn’t catch it.
“I know.” Keito’s eyes widened, his head snapping towards Yuto. “It’s okay Keito, this is what I was hoping for, actually.”
“What?” Keito asked, surprised.
“I think,” Yuto shook his head, “No, I know that you and Ryosuke can be happy together, and if you two fall in love, Ryo-chan will finally be able to let me go.”
Keito frowned, “Yuto, I can’t, it’s not-”
“What’s so bad about it?” Yuto questioned, “Just because I’m dead doesn’t mean you guys can just stop living and not be happy. That’s not fair to you two, or to me, either. Seeing you guys like this, Ryo-chan always crying and you throwing yourself into your job so you never feel, it’s hell,” Yuto’s hands itched to comfort Keito, clenching in his lap.
“Ryosuke would never love me like that,” Keito sniffed, hating himself for tearing up, “I’m not you.”
“I wouldn’t want him to love you because you were like me. I want him to love you for you, just the way you are,” Yuto bit his lip, “Keito, why do you think I told you to take Ryo-chan to Shibuya?”
Keito shrugged, quiet.
“It’s because that’s something you would do, you challenge people in small ways to let go of their insecurities. You did it with me, with Chinen, and now with Ryo-chan,” Yuto leaned forward, staring down at Keito who was eyeing the floor. “Please, just, if you do fall for him, don’t try to push those feelings away. Promise me, please?”
Keito sighed, not wanting to agree but he knew he couldn’t deny Yuto’s requests, especially now. “Okay, I promise.”
“Thank you,” Yuto smiled, and Keito broke again, sobbing into his hands on the train, thinking, and not for the first time, that he should be the one who died, not Yuto.
***
A month went by without too much problem; Keito and Yamada had hung out nearly everyday, sometimes just being lazy in Keito’s apartment, eating mint chocolate and cookie dough ice cream straight from the container. Other times they went out, like going to the zoo while it snowed, having an impromptu snow fight, or taking walks around town, huddled close with their arms around each other as they tried to remain warm.
Sometimes Yuto followed them around, giving Keito little smiles and winks, but he tried to ignore those; it was weird, having Yuto support the idea of him and Yamada getting together. Although he made that promise to his best friend, he really didn’t think he could ever go through with it. It just seemed wrong, Yamada and Yuto had been dating for almost four years until Yuto died.
He could never compete with that.
Not that he wanted to, of course.
He was not falling for his dead best friend’s boyfriend.
He just…wanted to help him, that’s all.
There were a few times Yamada broke down while they hung out, usually after talking about Yuto, and it broke Keito’s heart when the younger boy’s hands clutched his shirt, sobbing into his chest. He did his best to comfort Yamada during those times, holding him close and whispering soothing words into his ear, until his cries slowed down and his breathing eventually evened out, indicating that he had fallen asleep in Keito’s arms. Too afraid to break the contact, Keito would pick Yamada up and bring him into his bedroom, snuggling the boy as he talked quietly with Yuto, until he too fell asleep.
“Keito,” Yamada pulled on his arm, bringing him back down to earth, “Let’s go rent a scary movie.”
“You hate scary movies though,” Keito laughed, but didn’t protest, letting Yamada drag him into the video store across the street.
***
A half hour later, and the two were sitting down on Keito’s couch, watching the scary movie with the lights turned off. Keito had an arm around Yamada’s shoulders as the boy screamed every now and then, jumping whenever something scary happened and hiding his face in Keito’s chest when the ghost in the movie began killing people.
“See, this is why you hate scary movies,” Keito reminded Yamada as the ending credits rolled, the boy shaking in his arms and practically sitting in his lap.
“Whatever,” Yamada grumbled, untangling himself and sitting back into the couch, his eyes darting across the room. “Can we um, turn on the lights?”
Keito laughed, getting up and quickly turning on the lights, smiling when Yamada relaxed, a sigh of relief escaping his lips. “Much better,” Yamada said as Keito rejoined him on the couch, the two facing each other quietly.
“Keito,” Yamada began, and then stop, biting his lip.
“What is it?” Keito asked, “You okay Ryosuke?”
“Yeah, I’m actually really good, just a little confused,” Yamada shrugged, tucking a loose strand of hair behind his ear, “But it’s okay, I think I’ll figure it out soon.”
“You sure?” Keito prodded, concerned for the younger boy.
“Yeah, come on, I’m tired,” Yamada stood up, holding out his hand for Keito, who took it with a small yawn. The two left the room and went into Keito’s bedroom, leaving the door opened so that some light could filter in.
“Goodnight,” Yamada whispered as he laid his head on Keito’s chest, and Keito hoped that the boy couldn’t hear his rapidly beating heart, or feel the gentle kiss he pressed to the top of Yamada’s head.
“You’re falling for him,” Yuto said from across the room, sitting at Keito’s desk with his arms crossed behind his head.
Keito sighed; he couldn’t deny it anymore, could he?
“I am,” he whispered, pulling Yamada closer to him as he closed his eyes, falling asleep.
***
For some reason, Yuto had been disappearing a lot lately.
It started happening after the night he and Yamada watched that scary movie; since then, Yuto slowly began disappearing more and more, not hanging around Keito’s apartment, his work, or following him and Yamada around when they hung out.
And when Yuto was around, he seemed, more transparent, reminding Keito of the ghosts he saw in movies. He asked Yuto about this, but the other boy just shrugged, smiling as he relaxed into Keito’s bed.
“Seriously, it’s weird,” Keito said, buttoning up his jacket, “You remind me of Casper or something.”
“Casper was that weird American ghost, right?” Yuto asked, head quirked to the side.
Keito rolled his eyes, grabbing his scarf off the nightstand; although it was nearing March, the air outside was still relatively cold. Putting on a pair of gloves as well, Keito waved to Yuto before leaving the room, and then the apartment, making his way towards the park the two had agreed to meet at. It wasn’t too far from his home, so he decided to walk, hands shoved in his pockets in order to keep them warm.
About twenty minutes later and Keito arrived, spotting Yamada on the swings. He smiled as he made his way towards the boy, feeling his heart skip a beat when Yamada saw him and jumped off the swing, running towards him with a big grin. “Keito~!” Yamada shouted as he threw his arms around Keito’s neck, giggling when Keito spun him around a little before setting him back down, his hands still on Yamada’s waist.
“I’m glad you could meet me here, come on, there’s something I want to show you,” Yamada said, grabbing Keito’s hand and leading him down the stoned path.
“How was work today?” Yamada asked, making idle chat as they walked along, their interlocked hands swinging back and forth.
“Pretty good, we had a lot of customers, and this foreign couple from America tipped me,” Keito laughed when he saw Yamada’s surprised expression, “Yeah, I know, but in America, you always tip your waiters.”
“That seems so strange,” Yamada said, but didn’t push the subject any further, just giving Keito a shove when the other continued to laugh at him.
“Oh, there it is!” Yamada said suddenly, and Keito stumbled for a second as Yamada led him down the hill and towards a large tree that was beginning to blossom. When they reached the tree, Yamada dropped his hand, and placed both of his against the tree’s trunk.
“Four years ago today, Yuto told me he loved me, in front of this tree,” Yamada smiled, eyeing the tree happily, “After he died, I came here a lot, wondering why did this happen, why Yuto, why was I still alive,” Yamada glanced over at Keito, gesturing for him to closer. He did, and Yamada continued, tears now gathering in his eyes, “I’ll always love Yuto, until the day I die, but it’s time for me to let him go.”
“Ryosuke,” Keito whispered, his hand rubbing Yamada’s back, “I know Yuto would be so proud of you right now.”
Yamada nodded, “Yeah,” he sniffled, turning around and embracing Keito, but keeping his eyes locked with the other, “And I think that Yuto wouldn’t want me to be alone forever, either. I think that if I,” Yamada paused, trying to keep his composure, “If I fell in love again, Yuto would be happy for me.”
“He would,” Keito agreed, smiling down at Yamada.
“Keito,” Yamada started, but then stopped, and Keito eye’s widened when Yamada stood on his tiptoes, his face slowly inching towards his.
Their lips touched, and Keito’s breathed hitched, his hands squeezing Yamada’s waist.
“Keito,” Yamada said, his nose brushing against Keito’s as he kissed him again, longer this time, eyes falling shut. When he began to pull away, Keito followed him, bringing a hand to his cheek and resuming their kiss, gently pushing Yamada against the tree as he lowered his head, so that the younger boy didn’t have stand on his toes.
“I love you,” Yamada breathed out when their kiss broke for a moment, and Keito grinned, his thumb brushing away Yamada’s leftover tears.
“I love you too,” he said, before kissing the boy again, drawing a small moan from Yamada’s lips.
“Let’s go to your place,” Yamada gasped, and Keito nodded, grabbing Yamada’s hand and leading him out of the park.
They reached his apartment in record time, and as soon as the door closed behind them, Keito had Yamada pinned to the wall, passionately kissing him as Yamada wrapped a leg around his waist, bringing their bodies closer together and increasing the friction between them.
He began to unbutton Yamada’s coat, and then his own, finding it a little bit difficult when Yamada began to press heated kisses down his neck, nipping at the sensitive flesh there.
Throwing their coats onto the floor, Keito pulled back so that he could remove their shirts, tossing them onto the floor with their coats. “Come on,” Keito panted, a little breathless and Yamada smiled, the two making their way down the hallway, taking time here and there to kiss each other, touch the other’s bare skin, whisper words of love into each other’s ears.
Opening his bedroom door, Keito eased Yamada onto the mattress, before settling his body on top of him, careful not to add too much pressure.
“You sure?” Keito asked, his hands on Yamada’s zipper.
Yamada nodded, cheeks flushed, his lips red and swollen and his eyes glazed over. “Yeah, I’m sure,” he said, placing is hand on top of Keito’s and dragging the zipper down. “I love you.”
“I love you too,” Keito smiled.
***
The next morning, Keito woke up with a yawn, smiling when Yamada snuggled closer to him, their legs tangled together under the sheets.
“Good morning,” Yamada said sleepily, opening his bleary eyes. “Sleep well?”
“Yeah, you?” Keito asked, caressing Yamada’s back.
“Amazing,” Yamada giggled, leaning up onto his elbows. “What time do you have work today?” he asked, as Keito sat up and gave him a sweet kiss.
“I have to be there at noon,” he mumbled, pressing another kiss against Yamada’s lips, and then another, saying in between them, “I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of doing that.”
“I hope not,” Yamada smiled, resting his forehead against Keito’s, “I’m really happy right now.”
“Me too,” Keito smiled back.
“Do you think Yuto is happy for us?” Yamada asked, his eyes hopeful.
Keito nodded, glancing towards the window in his room and eyeing the first bright sun of spring. “He is, definitely.”
“Good,” Yamada yawned and laid back down, Keito joining him with his arms snug around the boy’s waist.
“Thank you Yuto,” Keito whispered once Yamada fell back asleep, before closing his eyes as well.
Author: hotfruits
Beta: littlemelonblue
Rating: PG-13
Characters: Yamada/Yuto. Yamada/Keito.
Disclaimer: Don't own.
Summary: AU! It's been several months since Yuto died, and Yamada still hasn't gotten over it. Yuto begins haunting his best friend Keito, wanting him to help Yamada move on because Yuto can't fully leave while he's like this. A new love is formed and Yuto is able to rest in peace.
Written for this prompt at the jetrickortreat meme.
After his shift at the restaurant, Keito stumbled into his apartment, loosening his tie along the way and dropping his coat onto the couch. Going into the kitchen, he grabbed a glass of water before making his way back towards the small living room, sitting down on the couch with a small ‘plop’ as he turned on the TV.
“Yo~!”
Keito screamed, glass of water flying into the air as he chucked the TV remote at his best friend.
His dead best friend.
“Hey, watch that!” Yuto shouted, even though the remote just passed right through him.
Keito blinked, and then promptly fainted, falling onto the couch face first.
***
An hour later, Keito opened his eyes, a painful headache forming as he sat up with a groan. The TV was still on, some romantic drama playing, and his thoughts of ‘oh, what a crazy dream’ vanished from his mind when he saw Yuto watching the drama, completely enraptured by it.
“Damnit, don’t go back to him!” Yuto shouted at the TV, “He’s only going to cheat on you again!”
“Um,” Keito started, and then cleared his throat, Yuto turning towards him with a grin. “This can’t be happening, you’re not,” Keito shook his head, the words dying on his lips.
“I am,” Yuto responded, answering Keito’s silent question, “I am Yuto Nakajima, your best friend since high school, who died four months ago when I was shot during a bank robbery.”
Keito gulped, eyes wide as Yuto got up and sat next to him.
This…person, certainly did look a lot like Yuto; he had his firm jaw, thin lips, charismatic double eyelids and the cute little freckle under his left eye.
“Keito, it’s me,” Yuto smiled, the one Keito has known since he was sixteen years old and his heart jumped, believing, while his mind, the obviously more rational part of him, completely denied it.
“Let’s see, how can I get you to believe me,” Yuto hummed under his breath, leaning against the couch as he thought. Keito watched him, his thoughts and emotions in a complete whirlwind of just…nothing, but everything, all at the same time.
“I know,” Yuto chuckled, looking back into Keito’s eyes, “When we were seventeen years old, your Dad went to England on business and we broke into his liquor cabinet,” Yuto paused, chuckling some more, “We got so wasted, oh man.”
“I got wasted with Chinen too,” Keito said quietly, his eyes watering.
“Yeah, but you didn’t make out with Chinen and get matching tattoos with him,” Yuto said, lifting up his shirt to show off the little leprechaun he had tattooed on his hip.
Keito’s heart stopped, his breathing along with it as he reached out, but then stopped, remembering what happened with the remote. He looked back up at Yuto, sniffling, tears now falling down his cheeks.
“Oh my god, Yuto,” is all he managed to choke out before he broke, his dead best friend giving him a saddened smile.
***
It took Keito awhile to regain his composure, his eyes puffy and red, his nose stuffed and his throat sore. Yuto sat by him the whole time, hands in his laps as he waited, quietly watching some random game show on TV.
“Yuto,” Keito coughed, his voice thick from crying, “How is this…?”
“It’s Ryo-chan,” Yuto answered, sighing softly, “When people die, their souls just sort of, go,” Yuto began, choosing his words carefully, “But then sometimes, a person’s soul can’t go, because someone else is holding on to it too tightly.”
“This sounds like a bad movie,” Keito murmured, and Yuto snickered, shaking his head.
“Where do you think movies like that get their inspiration?” Yuto stated, before continuing, “Keito, I’m trapped here on Earth, not fully dead but obviously not alive either.”
“He’s having a really hard time letting you go,” Keito replied, eyes downcast. “He’s doing better than before,” Keito paused, thinking back for a moment; the first month after Yuto’s death had been hell on them, and for awhile Keito was worried he was going to have to suffer through the death of two best friends. He had managed to get Yamada through it though, some what.
“I think living in your guys’ apartment was really the worst of it for him,” Keito glanced over at Yuto, “Constantly being around your guys stuff, the memories…He lived here for awhile, actually, but he’s been at his parents for about a month now.”
Yuto nodded, “I know, and thank you Keito, so much. I know things were kind of rocky between us after Ryo-chan and I got together, but knowing that you’re there for him has really eased a lot of my worries.”
“Of course,” Keito couldn’t help but smile; it was true, things were tense at first but after getting to know Yamada, he didn’t mind sharing his best friend with the younger boy, especially after he and Yamada formed a good friendship of their own. It only seemed natural now to take care of him.
“Keito, I need you to help me,” Yuto said, his expression completely serious, “I love you, and I love Ryo-chan, but it’s time for me to move on. My soul is ready to be at rest.”
“I, yeah,” Keito stuttered, nodding his head, “Just, how do I do it? How can I get Ryosuke to let you go?”
Yuto smiled, “Don’t worry, I’ve got a plan. Call him up tomorrow morning and ask him to meet up with you in Shibuya.”
Keito raised a brow, but agreed none-the-less, and the two best friends watched TV, laughing at the ridiculous game show until Keito fell asleep, quietly snoring next to Yuto.
***
The next morning, Keito brushed his teeth as Yuto sat on the toilet next to him, chattering away.
“It was really funny too!” Yuto laughed, slapping his thigh, “I mean, a real ghost in one of those cheesy haunted houses? I had little kids pissing their pants!”
“Even in the afterlife, you’re completely insane,” Keito mumbled, mouth full of toothpaste as he rolled his eyes. Spitting it out, Keito wiped his mouth with the back of his hand before beginning to fix his hair, fluffing out the side and top with his fingers.
“So, what exactly is this plan of yours?” Keito asked as he plugged in his straightener, waiting for it to heat up so he could fix his bangs.
“I’m not telling you,” Yuto sang childishly, chuckling, “Just trust me on this, you’ll be helping Ryo-chan, yourself and me. It’s a win-win-win situation.”
“Alright, but why Shibuya? I thought Ryosuke kind of hated it there, since it’s so crowded and he’s rather shy.”
Yuto shrugged, “I know, and I always indulged Ryo-chan and his odd quirks. I don’t want you to though, and now is a good time as ever to bring him out of his shell.”
Keito grabbed his straightener, placing his bangs in between the two hot plates. He pressed down, hearing the straightener hiss as he slowly pulled it down. “You sure your plan is going to work?” Keito asked again, repeating the process.
Yuto grinned, “It will.”
***
A few hours later and Keito found himself walking down the busy streets of Shibuya with Yamada, the younger boy huddling close to him as he tried to avoid bumping into random strangers.
“Why did I agree to this,” Yamada mumbled to himself, his glasses perched low onto his nose after another person bumped into him, “I don’t like it here, why couldn’t we just hang out at your place?”
Remembering Yuto’s words, Keito just wrapped an arm around the other and pulled him close, giving him a one-armed hug, “I don’t know, it just seemed like a good idea to go out and try something new.”
“You’re insane,” Yamada replied, but didn’t complain any further, just pressed himself closer to Keito.
“Hey, let’s get some ice cream,” Keito said after a few moments of silence, grabbing Yamada’s hand and pulling him into a little café.
“Ice cream? Keito, it’s December,” Yamada reminded him, rolling his eyes as they went up towards the cash register. “You’re acting really weird.”
“Maybe you’re just not weird enough,” Keito replied, and he smiled when Yamada cracked a smile at this.
“You want weird? Well, okay,” Yamada looked at the menu, seeing what ice cream flavors they had, “Can I get a double scoop, one mint chocolate and one cookie dough.”
Keito raised a brow at this, “For as long as I’ve known you, you’ve always gotten strawberry.”
Yamada shrugged, accepting the ice cream from the girl behind the register, “I guess your weirdness is rubbing off on me,” he said, waiting for Keito to order before taking a seat at a table for two, Keito following behind him.
The two ate their ice cream in comfortable silence, occasionally breaking it to ask how work was going and if the other was taking good care of themselves. Once they finished, they threw away their empty ice cream cups and left the café, shivering.
“Okay, so maybe ice cream in December was a bit stupid,” Keito laughed, Yamada joining him as they huddled together, walking down the street.
“That’s alright, I’m actually having a good time,” Yamada said quietly, a small smile on his face, “You know, I’ve never been here with Yuto.”
Keito looked over at Yamada as the boy continued, “I’m too shy and awkward and he was comfortable just being where I was, but,” Yamada paused, his smile widening, “I’m having a really good time. Thank you.”
Keito nodded, glancing over his shoulder to see Yuto giving him a thumbs up.
“We should do this again sometime,” Keito turned back towards Yamada, “Or whatever, it’s nice getting out of the house and away from my thoughts for awhile.”
Keito nodded, thinking, “Well, I can get off work early on Tuesday, maybe we can go out for dinner then?”
“Sounds good,” Yamada said, looping his arm with Keito’s, “Let’s get Italian or something, I’ve never tried it before. Oh!” Yamada stopped, pointing up towards the mall in front of them, “Let’s go inside, it looks warm!”
“Okay,” the two took off down the street, laughing as they ducked through the crowds of people.
Yuto followed lazily behind them, hands in his pockets.
***
“Ryo-chan looked really happy today,” Yuto said as soon as they entered Keito’s apartment, following Keito to the couch.
“Yeah, but you know, it was kind of weird hanging out with him when I could see his dead boyfriend following us around,” Keito said dryly, tucking his feet under him as he turned on the TV.
“Sorry, couldn’t help it,” Yuto smiled, “It makes me really happy, seeing you two together.”
Keito glanced over at Yuto, sleepily eyeing the other boy.
“I love this drama!” Yuto changed the subject, pointing to the TV. “It’s about this girl in debt who ends up marrying this old man and living with his crazy sons…”
Keito listened to Yuto with half an ear, his eyes falling shut as he slowly fell asleep.
It was nice, having his best friend back.
***
Keito busied himself with work, and spending time with Yuto in his apartment, until his next meet up with Yamada. He called up his friend Chinen before hand, asking him if there were any good Italian restaurants near Yamada’s parent’s place.
“Hmm, yeah,” Chinen mumbled on the phone, and Keito could various papers rustling around, “There’s one in that area, called Iorio. It’s expensive but the food is worth it, seriously.”
Keito thanked Chinen, hanging up the phone as his boss walked by. “Hey, Yabu-san,” Keito called out, catching up with the older male, “Is it okay if I take off a half-hour early? I’ve got plans with my friend Yamada.”
Yabu paused, looking over at Keito, “Yamada, that’s the one who was dating your friend, right?”
Keito nodded. “Okay, just get here early tomorrow then,” Yabu said, and Keito thanked him, taking off his apron and hanging it up. “See you guys tomorrow!” he called out to the other waiters, giving them a wave as he left.
“Finally!” Yuto sighed exasperatedly, “You work way too many hours here.”
“Gotta pay the bills,” Keito replied, wrapping his scarf further around his neck, hands shoved into his coat pocket. “Hey, can you feel the cold at all?”
Yuto shook his head. “No, well, not the cold you feel as someone who is alive.”
“There’s a different kind of cold for dead people?” Keito asked, curious as they crossed the street.
“Yeah, it’s hard to explain though,” Yuto started, feeling his skin, “Have you ever touched a dead body?”
“Just yours,” Keito replied.
“Well, my skin was cold, right?” Keito nodded at this, “It’s like that, except I feel it inside of me too. Just the coldness you get when you’re dead.”
“Oh,” Keito said quietly, walking up the steps to the train he needed to take to get to Yamada’s area. “Are you coming with us tonight, or…?”
“I might pop in,” Yuto grinned, staying on the sidewalk as Keito stepped onto the train. “Have fun~!” he called out as the doors closed, waving and Keito waved back, until a girl around his age gave him a weird stare, and then he remembered that only he could see Yuto.
Clearing his throat, Keito avoided the girl’s eyes and took a seat, sending a quick message to Yamada that he was on his way.
***
Entering the dimly lit restaurant, Keito smiled when he saw Yamada and walked over to the other boy, giving him a hug.
“Hey, glad you could make it,” Keito said, pulling away from the hug. With an arm still around Yamada’s waist, the two walked over to the hostess and Keito gave him his name.
“Okamoto,” the woman mumbled under her breath, “Ah, there you are, follow me,” she said, grabbing two menu’s and leading them further into the restaurant, sitting them down at a fairly secluded table. “Enjoy your meal,” she smiled, handing them the menus before wandering off.
“This place is expensive,” Yamada commented as he read the menu, eyebrows raised, “Wow, what made you choose this place?”
“Chinen,” Keito responded, making a quick mental note to yell at him later; yeah, expensive was a bit of an understatement. This place was going to cost him an arm and a leg.
“Chinen?” Yamada’s nose wrinkled, peering over at Keito from the top of the menu, “Your weird ex-boyfriend from high school?”
“That’s the one,” Keito laughed, shoulders shaking a little, “How do you even remember that? You didn’t go to our school until our final year, and Chinen and I were pretty much done by then.”
“Pretty much done, but not quite,” Yamada rolled his eyes, “Remember, I was the one who caught you guys fondling each other on the roof.”
Keito snorted as he laughed, remembering the event all too well. Yamada hadn’t been able to look him in the eye for weeks afterwards, until Keito eventually cornered him in the restroom and forced the boy to talk to him. By that time, he and Chinen had already broken up, but they didn’t let that stop their friendship.
“What’s Chinen up to these days?” Yamada asked as the waiter filled their glasses with water, taking a sip once the waiter finished.
“He’s working at his father’s company, computer manufacturing and stuff,” Keito responded, grabbing his glass, “It’s so strange, Chinen is a serious genius but he’s so childish,” Keito shook his head, taking a drink, “I don’t understand him.”
“Maybe that’s for the best,” Yamada said absent-mindedly, before setting the menu down, arms crossed over his chest. “So, I don’t know about you, but I’m thinking the food here is too expensive and we should just order pie and booze. You in?”
Keito coughed, choking on his water.
“I’ll take that as a yes,” Yamada smirked, calling their waiter over with his hand.
Keito watched in hopeless amusement as Yamada ordered two slices of chocolate pie, and two glasses of some alcohol he had never heard of before.
“This is going to be fun,” Yamada chuckled, leaning back into his seat, and Keito nodded, glancing around to make sure Yuto wasn’t there.
He had a feeling his dead best friend wouldn’t appreciate it if he let his boyfriend get drunk.
***
Four slices of pie later, and more alcohol than they should have consumed, Keito paid the check and the two stumbled out of the restaurant, giggling as they leaned against each other.
“Oh my god, I feel like dancing,” Yamada broke away from their cuddle, arms in the air as he twirled around on the sidewalk, his feet splashing against the wet ground; Keito figured it had probably rained while they were in the restaurant.
“Keito, dance with me~!” Yamada smiled, skipping towards the other and throwing his arms around his neck. Keito caught him easily enough and twirled him around, smiling when Yamada shrieked with laughter.
The sky had begun to drizzle as Keito set Yamada back down, arms around his waist when the younger boy swayed a little.
“Whoa there,” Keito chuckled, holding Yamada close, brushing his now damp bangs out of his eyes. “Let’s get you home and in bed, okay?”
Yamada nodded, his eyes half-lidded. “Okay,” he smiled, clutching Keito’s arm as the two walked towards his parent’s house.
They made it there a few minutes later, standing outside the small home Keito remembers spending his final teenage years hanging out at.
“I had a lot of fun tonight,” Keito said as Yamada pulled him in for a hug, burying his flushed face against his neck, “I’m sorry I haven’t really been around lately, work is just-”
“It’s okay,” Yamada shook his head, sniffling a little, “I know being around me is hard, just like how it’s hard for me to be around you. I miss him so much,” Yamada said, his voice cracking.
“Hey, hey don’t cry,” Keito sighed, pulling Yamada closer. “I miss him too, but it’s going to be okay.”
“Can we, can we hang out more often?” Yamada asked, stepping back from the hug, tears in his eyes, “I know you’re busy with work, and I really don’t want to burden you, but,” Yamada paused, wiping away a tear that broke loose, “The only time I’m not crying and unhappy is when I’m with you.”
“Of course Ryosuke,” Keito brought his hands to Yamada’s cheeks, brushing away the tears, “I’m always here for you, okay?”
Yamada nodded, hugging Keito again before grabbing his keys and unlocking the front door, quickly entering his house.
Keito sighed, running a hand through his wet hair as he made his way towards the train that would take him home. When he reached the station, he saw Yuto sitting there, idly twiddling his thumbs.
“Hey,” Yuto greeted, standing up and entering the train with him. Thankfully, the cart they sat in was completely empty, so Keito didn’t have to worry about people judging him as he relayed tonight’s events to Yuto.
“I’m so glad Ryo-chan has you,” Yuto sighed, resting his head against the window in the cart. He closed his eyes, and Keito noted for the first time that Yuto never breathed.
“Yuto, can I tell you something?” Keito asked, his voice barely above a whisper.
“Of course, we’re best friends,” Yuto opened his eyes, turning towards Keito with a smile.
“When we were standing outside Ryosuke’s house, I um,” Keito paused, brows furrowed, “I felt, I felt something,” he said awkwardly, “I’m sure it’s just the alcohol but I, I wanted to kiss him,” he said the last part in a rush, sort of hoping Yuto didn’t catch it.
“I know.” Keito’s eyes widened, his head snapping towards Yuto. “It’s okay Keito, this is what I was hoping for, actually.”
“What?” Keito asked, surprised.
“I think,” Yuto shook his head, “No, I know that you and Ryosuke can be happy together, and if you two fall in love, Ryo-chan will finally be able to let me go.”
Keito frowned, “Yuto, I can’t, it’s not-”
“What’s so bad about it?” Yuto questioned, “Just because I’m dead doesn’t mean you guys can just stop living and not be happy. That’s not fair to you two, or to me, either. Seeing you guys like this, Ryo-chan always crying and you throwing yourself into your job so you never feel, it’s hell,” Yuto’s hands itched to comfort Keito, clenching in his lap.
“Ryosuke would never love me like that,” Keito sniffed, hating himself for tearing up, “I’m not you.”
“I wouldn’t want him to love you because you were like me. I want him to love you for you, just the way you are,” Yuto bit his lip, “Keito, why do you think I told you to take Ryo-chan to Shibuya?”
Keito shrugged, quiet.
“It’s because that’s something you would do, you challenge people in small ways to let go of their insecurities. You did it with me, with Chinen, and now with Ryo-chan,” Yuto leaned forward, staring down at Keito who was eyeing the floor. “Please, just, if you do fall for him, don’t try to push those feelings away. Promise me, please?”
Keito sighed, not wanting to agree but he knew he couldn’t deny Yuto’s requests, especially now. “Okay, I promise.”
“Thank you,” Yuto smiled, and Keito broke again, sobbing into his hands on the train, thinking, and not for the first time, that he should be the one who died, not Yuto.
***
A month went by without too much problem; Keito and Yamada had hung out nearly everyday, sometimes just being lazy in Keito’s apartment, eating mint chocolate and cookie dough ice cream straight from the container. Other times they went out, like going to the zoo while it snowed, having an impromptu snow fight, or taking walks around town, huddled close with their arms around each other as they tried to remain warm.
Sometimes Yuto followed them around, giving Keito little smiles and winks, but he tried to ignore those; it was weird, having Yuto support the idea of him and Yamada getting together. Although he made that promise to his best friend, he really didn’t think he could ever go through with it. It just seemed wrong, Yamada and Yuto had been dating for almost four years until Yuto died.
He could never compete with that.
Not that he wanted to, of course.
He was not falling for his dead best friend’s boyfriend.
He just…wanted to help him, that’s all.
There were a few times Yamada broke down while they hung out, usually after talking about Yuto, and it broke Keito’s heart when the younger boy’s hands clutched his shirt, sobbing into his chest. He did his best to comfort Yamada during those times, holding him close and whispering soothing words into his ear, until his cries slowed down and his breathing eventually evened out, indicating that he had fallen asleep in Keito’s arms. Too afraid to break the contact, Keito would pick Yamada up and bring him into his bedroom, snuggling the boy as he talked quietly with Yuto, until he too fell asleep.
“Keito,” Yamada pulled on his arm, bringing him back down to earth, “Let’s go rent a scary movie.”
“You hate scary movies though,” Keito laughed, but didn’t protest, letting Yamada drag him into the video store across the street.
***
A half hour later, and the two were sitting down on Keito’s couch, watching the scary movie with the lights turned off. Keito had an arm around Yamada’s shoulders as the boy screamed every now and then, jumping whenever something scary happened and hiding his face in Keito’s chest when the ghost in the movie began killing people.
“See, this is why you hate scary movies,” Keito reminded Yamada as the ending credits rolled, the boy shaking in his arms and practically sitting in his lap.
“Whatever,” Yamada grumbled, untangling himself and sitting back into the couch, his eyes darting across the room. “Can we um, turn on the lights?”
Keito laughed, getting up and quickly turning on the lights, smiling when Yamada relaxed, a sigh of relief escaping his lips. “Much better,” Yamada said as Keito rejoined him on the couch, the two facing each other quietly.
“Keito,” Yamada began, and then stop, biting his lip.
“What is it?” Keito asked, “You okay Ryosuke?”
“Yeah, I’m actually really good, just a little confused,” Yamada shrugged, tucking a loose strand of hair behind his ear, “But it’s okay, I think I’ll figure it out soon.”
“You sure?” Keito prodded, concerned for the younger boy.
“Yeah, come on, I’m tired,” Yamada stood up, holding out his hand for Keito, who took it with a small yawn. The two left the room and went into Keito’s bedroom, leaving the door opened so that some light could filter in.
“Goodnight,” Yamada whispered as he laid his head on Keito’s chest, and Keito hoped that the boy couldn’t hear his rapidly beating heart, or feel the gentle kiss he pressed to the top of Yamada’s head.
“You’re falling for him,” Yuto said from across the room, sitting at Keito’s desk with his arms crossed behind his head.
Keito sighed; he couldn’t deny it anymore, could he?
“I am,” he whispered, pulling Yamada closer to him as he closed his eyes, falling asleep.
***
For some reason, Yuto had been disappearing a lot lately.
It started happening after the night he and Yamada watched that scary movie; since then, Yuto slowly began disappearing more and more, not hanging around Keito’s apartment, his work, or following him and Yamada around when they hung out.
And when Yuto was around, he seemed, more transparent, reminding Keito of the ghosts he saw in movies. He asked Yuto about this, but the other boy just shrugged, smiling as he relaxed into Keito’s bed.
“Seriously, it’s weird,” Keito said, buttoning up his jacket, “You remind me of Casper or something.”
“Casper was that weird American ghost, right?” Yuto asked, head quirked to the side.
Keito rolled his eyes, grabbing his scarf off the nightstand; although it was nearing March, the air outside was still relatively cold. Putting on a pair of gloves as well, Keito waved to Yuto before leaving the room, and then the apartment, making his way towards the park the two had agreed to meet at. It wasn’t too far from his home, so he decided to walk, hands shoved in his pockets in order to keep them warm.
About twenty minutes later and Keito arrived, spotting Yamada on the swings. He smiled as he made his way towards the boy, feeling his heart skip a beat when Yamada saw him and jumped off the swing, running towards him with a big grin. “Keito~!” Yamada shouted as he threw his arms around Keito’s neck, giggling when Keito spun him around a little before setting him back down, his hands still on Yamada’s waist.
“I’m glad you could meet me here, come on, there’s something I want to show you,” Yamada said, grabbing Keito’s hand and leading him down the stoned path.
“How was work today?” Yamada asked, making idle chat as they walked along, their interlocked hands swinging back and forth.
“Pretty good, we had a lot of customers, and this foreign couple from America tipped me,” Keito laughed when he saw Yamada’s surprised expression, “Yeah, I know, but in America, you always tip your waiters.”
“That seems so strange,” Yamada said, but didn’t push the subject any further, just giving Keito a shove when the other continued to laugh at him.
“Oh, there it is!” Yamada said suddenly, and Keito stumbled for a second as Yamada led him down the hill and towards a large tree that was beginning to blossom. When they reached the tree, Yamada dropped his hand, and placed both of his against the tree’s trunk.
“Four years ago today, Yuto told me he loved me, in front of this tree,” Yamada smiled, eyeing the tree happily, “After he died, I came here a lot, wondering why did this happen, why Yuto, why was I still alive,” Yamada glanced over at Keito, gesturing for him to closer. He did, and Yamada continued, tears now gathering in his eyes, “I’ll always love Yuto, until the day I die, but it’s time for me to let him go.”
“Ryosuke,” Keito whispered, his hand rubbing Yamada’s back, “I know Yuto would be so proud of you right now.”
Yamada nodded, “Yeah,” he sniffled, turning around and embracing Keito, but keeping his eyes locked with the other, “And I think that Yuto wouldn’t want me to be alone forever, either. I think that if I,” Yamada paused, trying to keep his composure, “If I fell in love again, Yuto would be happy for me.”
“He would,” Keito agreed, smiling down at Yamada.
“Keito,” Yamada started, but then stopped, and Keito eye’s widened when Yamada stood on his tiptoes, his face slowly inching towards his.
Their lips touched, and Keito’s breathed hitched, his hands squeezing Yamada’s waist.
“Keito,” Yamada said, his nose brushing against Keito’s as he kissed him again, longer this time, eyes falling shut. When he began to pull away, Keito followed him, bringing a hand to his cheek and resuming their kiss, gently pushing Yamada against the tree as he lowered his head, so that the younger boy didn’t have stand on his toes.
“I love you,” Yamada breathed out when their kiss broke for a moment, and Keito grinned, his thumb brushing away Yamada’s leftover tears.
“I love you too,” he said, before kissing the boy again, drawing a small moan from Yamada’s lips.
“Let’s go to your place,” Yamada gasped, and Keito nodded, grabbing Yamada’s hand and leading him out of the park.
They reached his apartment in record time, and as soon as the door closed behind them, Keito had Yamada pinned to the wall, passionately kissing him as Yamada wrapped a leg around his waist, bringing their bodies closer together and increasing the friction between them.
He began to unbutton Yamada’s coat, and then his own, finding it a little bit difficult when Yamada began to press heated kisses down his neck, nipping at the sensitive flesh there.
Throwing their coats onto the floor, Keito pulled back so that he could remove their shirts, tossing them onto the floor with their coats. “Come on,” Keito panted, a little breathless and Yamada smiled, the two making their way down the hallway, taking time here and there to kiss each other, touch the other’s bare skin, whisper words of love into each other’s ears.
Opening his bedroom door, Keito eased Yamada onto the mattress, before settling his body on top of him, careful not to add too much pressure.
“You sure?” Keito asked, his hands on Yamada’s zipper.
Yamada nodded, cheeks flushed, his lips red and swollen and his eyes glazed over. “Yeah, I’m sure,” he said, placing is hand on top of Keito’s and dragging the zipper down. “I love you.”
“I love you too,” Keito smiled.
***
The next morning, Keito woke up with a yawn, smiling when Yamada snuggled closer to him, their legs tangled together under the sheets.
“Good morning,” Yamada said sleepily, opening his bleary eyes. “Sleep well?”
“Yeah, you?” Keito asked, caressing Yamada’s back.
“Amazing,” Yamada giggled, leaning up onto his elbows. “What time do you have work today?” he asked, as Keito sat up and gave him a sweet kiss.
“I have to be there at noon,” he mumbled, pressing another kiss against Yamada’s lips, and then another, saying in between them, “I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of doing that.”
“I hope not,” Yamada smiled, resting his forehead against Keito’s, “I’m really happy right now.”
“Me too,” Keito smiled back.
“Do you think Yuto is happy for us?” Yamada asked, his eyes hopeful.
Keito nodded, glancing towards the window in his room and eyeing the first bright sun of spring. “He is, definitely.”
“Good,” Yamada yawned and laid back down, Keito joining him with his arms snug around the boy’s waist.
“Thank you Yuto,” Keito whispered once Yamada fell back asleep, before closing his eyes as well.