long time.....
hey.....it has been so long since i last wrote and so much has happened. only i remember more of the bad than the good. actually i can only remember about two good things since the last time i posted an entry. everything in my world is spinning and coming down and i'm just wondering when it's all gonna stop.
my fiancee is still in jail. yeah, he wrote me a beautiful romantic letter in january and said he wanted to get married as soon as he got out and he couldn't wait and i was the love of his life and all of this sweet stuff. i cried. i can't even lie. and i love his family so much. they are more of a family to me than my own. but he is still in there and i worry about him because he's in Minden, Louisiana and that's not really a good place. One of the other inmates got his mouth busted with a metal lock and somebody else got shanked with a spoon. and Jr.'s arm was all skint up and he had a bump on his head but he said he just fell off of his bunk. that better be what happened. but i was so fuckin pissed because visitation day was on the 11th and i got all cute and shit to go see him and i get up there and find out that i am not on his visitation list anymore because he moved from E block to F block and when he did they changed his list and threw out the old one and the only people they put back on the list was his mom and sister. so now i have to wait until april to see him if he doesn't get out by then. but he has court on the 24th and he may get out. i hope so. i miss him so much. god he is all i think about.
but then in February my grandpa died and i'm not really gonna talk about it. all i'm gonna say is he was my everything. i prayed really hard and a lot for him to get better and he didn't so now i'm low on faith. real low. and last thursday me and my grandma got in a huge huge fight. me and my grandma have never got along and i hate her. i always have. she's an old hag. a bitch. but last thursday that bitch blamed me for my grandpa's death and no one could understand how bad that hurt. so i went and got really really really fucked up, tried to overdose. got sick as fuck. thought i really was gonna die. not that i was too worried, i was crazy enough to actually want to die. but i'm still here. anyways that old bitch can die and rot in hell. so i moved out and now i live with my cousins. they're kinda watchin out for me. they haven't really let me out of their site too much since then but that's fine cuz they are cool as hell. i can still get fucked up with them and talk to them like i'm talking to friends. i love them to death.
but shit, i did go and have a good time last wednesday. i went and saw an old friend who i love to death. he is so sweet. but i never get to see him. anyways we went and got fucked up. it was great. he's just the kind of friend that can either chill with you at the house and talk or go and do something really crazy and not get embarrassed. so we went and got fucked up and then i get phone happy when i'm really fucked up so i ended up calling a lot of people over and it was just like one big reunion that all of my fucked up friends came to. it was great.
but i'm out! i gotta go write my man a letter.
my fiancee is still in jail. yeah, he wrote me a beautiful romantic letter in january and said he wanted to get married as soon as he got out and he couldn't wait and i was the love of his life and all of this sweet stuff. i cried. i can't even lie. and i love his family so much. they are more of a family to me than my own. but he is still in there and i worry about him because he's in Minden, Louisiana and that's not really a good place. One of the other inmates got his mouth busted with a metal lock and somebody else got shanked with a spoon. and Jr.'s arm was all skint up and he had a bump on his head but he said he just fell off of his bunk. that better be what happened. but i was so fuckin pissed because visitation day was on the 11th and i got all cute and shit to go see him and i get up there and find out that i am not on his visitation list anymore because he moved from E block to F block and when he did they changed his list and threw out the old one and the only people they put back on the list was his mom and sister. so now i have to wait until april to see him if he doesn't get out by then. but he has court on the 24th and he may get out. i hope so. i miss him so much. god he is all i think about.
but then in February my grandpa died and i'm not really gonna talk about it. all i'm gonna say is he was my everything. i prayed really hard and a lot for him to get better and he didn't so now i'm low on faith. real low. and last thursday me and my grandma got in a huge huge fight. me and my grandma have never got along and i hate her. i always have. she's an old hag. a bitch. but last thursday that bitch blamed me for my grandpa's death and no one could understand how bad that hurt. so i went and got really really really fucked up, tried to overdose. got sick as fuck. thought i really was gonna die. not that i was too worried, i was crazy enough to actually want to die. but i'm still here. anyways that old bitch can die and rot in hell. so i moved out and now i live with my cousins. they're kinda watchin out for me. they haven't really let me out of their site too much since then but that's fine cuz they are cool as hell. i can still get fucked up with them and talk to them like i'm talking to friends. i love them to death.
but shit, i did go and have a good time last wednesday. i went and saw an old friend who i love to death. he is so sweet. but i never get to see him. anyways we went and got fucked up. it was great. he's just the kind of friend that can either chill with you at the house and talk or go and do something really crazy and not get embarrassed. so we went and got fucked up and then i get phone happy when i'm really fucked up so i ended up calling a lot of people over and it was just like one big reunion that all of my fucked up friends came to. it was great.
but i'm out! i gotta go write my man a letter.