ive had you so many times but somehow i want more
This is going to be long.. so if you dont want to read my patheticness i suggest you stop now lol!
.. this weekend was awesome yet bad?!
Alex's wedding was on Sunday. She looked beautiful! the reception was on a boat it was fucking cool! Hung out with Brit and other people! the wasnt checking ID so we took advantage of that lol! got sorta tipsy lol.. cant really remember much past like 10. but that was also cause i was soo tired! so yea thats about it. then monday was michelles wedding. i danced the whole night away as usual. we had some really hot waiters! and i was like ooo la la! i wanted to dance with them teehee! so yea caught the boquet! hellz yea im getting married next :)! now all i have to do is find someone brave enough to marry me!! :) lol! so my weekend consisted of liquor,boys, and dancing. it was wonderful <3!
i dont know what this is. but its been getting me sad since like July. i wish i could be happy. like genuinely happy. and i really dont think its a boy thing because i've had the boy or w/e lol! its just something missing. something is always missing though. i guess thats just life.
i had a whole discussion with my mom over the weekend. i guess she notices i havent been myself lately. we talked alot about love. i dont think for any specific reason.. maybe because we were at a wedding?! and i asked her how you know if you love someone.. i mean truely love someone. not the petty highschool love.! lol! and she said that you are willing to fight for it. so i said like the blonde i am "like fight your parents about it?" haha and she was like no fight within yourself. when you love someone no other person that comes along can change your mind. and you wont look at other guys .. because there will only be one person you want. that really got me thinking about my whole life. maybe love isnt what i thought it was maybe when i told people i loved them i wasnt telling them the truth. but theres about 6 people in the whole world who i have told i loved and meant it. i would fight within myself for these people.
yea well that was a pointless rant. im just dying to have that love again.. i thought i could be strong by myself and that i didnt need any guy! but the truth is im not strong. and i miss everyday i had with love. i mean easily i could go out and just get any random guy. but thats not love. i want love .. even if its that petty highschool love...i want something that wont hurt .. and i hope i find someone that i can truly love again .. and maybe this time he can truly love me ...
-chelly
.. this weekend was awesome yet bad?!
Alex's wedding was on Sunday. She looked beautiful! the reception was on a boat it was fucking cool! Hung out with Brit and other people! the wasnt checking ID so we took advantage of that lol! got sorta tipsy lol.. cant really remember much past like 10. but that was also cause i was soo tired! so yea thats about it. then monday was michelles wedding. i danced the whole night away as usual. we had some really hot waiters! and i was like ooo la la! i wanted to dance with them teehee! so yea caught the boquet! hellz yea im getting married next :)! now all i have to do is find someone brave enough to marry me!! :) lol! so my weekend consisted of liquor,boys, and dancing. it was wonderful <3!
i dont know what this is. but its been getting me sad since like July. i wish i could be happy. like genuinely happy. and i really dont think its a boy thing because i've had the boy or w/e lol! its just something missing. something is always missing though. i guess thats just life.
i had a whole discussion with my mom over the weekend. i guess she notices i havent been myself lately. we talked alot about love. i dont think for any specific reason.. maybe because we were at a wedding?! and i asked her how you know if you love someone.. i mean truely love someone. not the petty highschool love.! lol! and she said that you are willing to fight for it. so i said like the blonde i am "like fight your parents about it?" haha and she was like no fight within yourself. when you love someone no other person that comes along can change your mind. and you wont look at other guys .. because there will only be one person you want. that really got me thinking about my whole life. maybe love isnt what i thought it was maybe when i told people i loved them i wasnt telling them the truth. but theres about 6 people in the whole world who i have told i loved and meant it. i would fight within myself for these people.
yea well that was a pointless rant. im just dying to have that love again.. i thought i could be strong by myself and that i didnt need any guy! but the truth is im not strong. and i miss everyday i had with love. i mean easily i could go out and just get any random guy. but thats not love. i want love .. even if its that petty highschool love...i want something that wont hurt .. and i hope i find someone that i can truly love again .. and maybe this time he can truly love me ...
-chelly