Can it be so?
Can it be so? Am I actually writing a post after all this time?
I go through phases of wanting to write out my thoughts and feelings that end pretty abruptly. So, don't get used to this, FlitterFlutter!
Well, things are going well for me and I'm pretty anxious and stressed. That doesn't seem to make sense on the surface but, well, it's just that history has taught me that whenever things are going really well it can't last for that long. Inevitably, something bad will happen to shake up my little world. In this case, there are some rational reasons for me to be concerned.
I've been dating Adam for 8 months now. I adore him. He's everything I want from a man. He's smart, funny, hot, loving, strong, etc. There's one huge catch though. He's in the NAVY. Therefore, he can never be 100% mine or more importantly, in my bed every night.
As the relationship gets more serious, it seems more and more that Adam is not confident in my strength to be in a relationship with him when he cannot always be by my side. I feel like I have little choice in the matter. I love him. What more is there to think about? Even if we have to be apart for half a year or more, it's not like I can replace him with someone else. I've seen what's out there- and there's no one else I want to be with. But even though Adam does know me well, he doesn't know that I'm stronger than I look. Didn't I live for a year in Israel, a completely foreign country, with no one I had previously known and do just fine? Didn't I move out to Boston for school 2 1/2 years ago, not knowing a soul, and with little support from family and friends?
Since he hasn't seen it with his own eyes, it is hard for him to believe me. I know he is just worried about me and it is out of love but this also makes me feel that he doesn't look upon me as a strong, independent individual and it's a little but demeaning.
More musing later..back to work, bleh!
I go through phases of wanting to write out my thoughts and feelings that end pretty abruptly. So, don't get used to this, FlitterFlutter!
Well, things are going well for me and I'm pretty anxious and stressed. That doesn't seem to make sense on the surface but, well, it's just that history has taught me that whenever things are going really well it can't last for that long. Inevitably, something bad will happen to shake up my little world. In this case, there are some rational reasons for me to be concerned.
I've been dating Adam for 8 months now. I adore him. He's everything I want from a man. He's smart, funny, hot, loving, strong, etc. There's one huge catch though. He's in the NAVY. Therefore, he can never be 100% mine or more importantly, in my bed every night.
As the relationship gets more serious, it seems more and more that Adam is not confident in my strength to be in a relationship with him when he cannot always be by my side. I feel like I have little choice in the matter. I love him. What more is there to think about? Even if we have to be apart for half a year or more, it's not like I can replace him with someone else. I've seen what's out there- and there's no one else I want to be with. But even though Adam does know me well, he doesn't know that I'm stronger than I look. Didn't I live for a year in Israel, a completely foreign country, with no one I had previously known and do just fine? Didn't I move out to Boston for school 2 1/2 years ago, not knowing a soul, and with little support from family and friends?
Since he hasn't seen it with his own eyes, it is hard for him to believe me. I know he is just worried about me and it is out of love but this also makes me feel that he doesn't look upon me as a strong, independent individual and it's a little but demeaning.
More musing later..back to work, bleh!