CHAPTER TWENTY (hallelujah x 4)
{A/N: We interrupt your regularly scheduled program for a 26-page, over 8k text message conversation from our sponsors, Mattie and Gil, as they tell their side of the last six chapters. Note that Gil is in Pacific Time and Mattie is in Mountain, so there is a one hour time difference between them. Please give them your utmost attention while our two leads regroup in the wings.}
From: Mattie
My cousin is gay.
Received: Thu Mar 28, 3:29 pm
From: Gil
PFFF. WHAT.
Received: Thu Mar 28, 4:30 pm
From: Mattie
Yep. With this brit kid he found on the internet. Kinda suspected it before but when theyre together irl… Oh so obvious al
Received: Thu Mar 28, 3:33 pm
From: Gil
Okay please tell me more so i can blackmail him next time i see him.
Received: Thu Mar 28, 4:35 pm
From: Mattie
Um hes a short blonde guy. Grumpy all the time so far. Honestly though he seems like the type not to stand al at all i dunno where this is coming from
Received: Thu Mar 28, 3:39 pm
From: Gil
This is GENIUS. Are they gay in kissy kissy horny gay or in sappy girly gay?
Received: Thu Mar 28, 4:40 pm
From: Mattie
So far sappy gay. I dont think they even realize it. Which makes it all the more golden
Received: Thu Mar 28, 3:43 pm
From: Gil
XD please please keep me posted. Im dying over here.
Received: Thu Mar 28, 4:44 pm
From: Mattie
I figured you would
Received: Thu Mar 28, 3:46 pm
From: Mattie
Also figures. Al found the piano
Received: Thu Mar 28, 3:52 pm
From: Gil
Are you mocking him for me? You should mock him for me.
Received: Thu Mar 28, 4:54 pm
From: Mattie
In due time. Gotta wait for the perfect moment to tank his ego
Received: Thu Mar 28, 3:57 pm
From: Gil
You my friend are made of awesome.
Received: Thu Mar 28, 4:59 pm
From: Mattie
Tell me something i dont know
Received: Thu Mar 28, 4:01 pm
From: Gil
Im scorching like a lobster down here.
Received: Thu Mar 28, 5:05 pm
From: Mattie
I hate you.
Received: Thu Mar 28, 4:07 pm
From: Gil
You know you love it :P
Received: Thu Mar 28, 5:10 pm
From: Mattie
Still. Screw you. Also id forgotten als boy toy is hilarious
Received: Thu Mar 28, 4:13 pm
From: Gil
When did you know that in the first place?
Received: Thu Mar 28, 5:16 pm
From: Mattie
Have i never told you that al used to drag me into im convos with the two of them?
Received: Thu Mar 28, 4:18 pm
From: Gil
Probably. Doesnt mean that i remember it.
Received: Thu Mar 28, 5:19 pm
From: Mattie
Well he did. At this rate im not gonna have to try to deflate als head. Arthurs doin a good enough job as it is
Received: Thu Mar 28, 4:23 pm
From: Gil
So what youre saying is al is pussywhipped.
Received: Thu Mar 28, 5:24 pm
From: Mattie
Pretty much. Its hilarious
Received: Thu Mar 28, 4:26 pm
From: Gil
Find sometime to send me a stalker pic plz. Im gonna go keep tonio from doing somthing stupid while I wait.
Received: Thu Mar 28, 5:28 pm
From: Mattie
Hahaha okay. Food time anyway
Received: Thu Mar 28, 4:31 pm
From: Mattie
I love this family. Were talking about the prostitution rate in south africa. I really dont know how we got here
Received: Thu Mar 28, 4:54 pm
From: Gil
Kesesese. I dont want to know. Tonio needs to stop hitting on angry italians. It never ends well for him.
Received: Thu Mar 28, 5:59 pm
From: Mattie
Is it the same guy again? Youd think hed learn.
Received: Thu Mar 28, 5:01 pm
From: Gil
Yup. Hes basically an idiot.
Received: Thu Mar 28, 6:04 pm
From: Mattie
HOCKEY TIME!
Received: Thu Mar 28, 5:48 pm
From: Gil
You and your canadianness.
Received: Thu Mar 28, 6:51 pm
From: Mattie
Remind me never to make my other cousin angry. Ever.
Received: Thu Mar 28, 6:24 pm
From: Gil
Ill remember that. Which cousin is this?
Received: Thu Mar 28, 7:28 pm
From: Mattie
The fake russkie one. Hes creative w his punishments. In other words HOCKEY TIME!
Received: Thu Mar 28, 6:31 pm
From: Gil
Have fun man. Ill be here watching the sunset with tequila. And holding toni on a leash.
Received: Thu Mar 28, 7:35 pm
From: Mattie
Will do. Put a muzzle on him too.
Received: Thu Mar 28, 6:40 pm
From: Gil
Goddammit matt i am NOT that kinky!
Received: Thu Mar 28, 7:45 pm
From: Mattie
Psh. Of course you are. You just havent realized it yet.
Received: Thu Mar 28, 6:50 pm
From: Gil
I dislike you.
Received: Thu Mar 28, 7:53 pm
From: Mattie
Al totally just got in a fight with my other cousin and got kicked out of the saddledome. I cant stop laughing omgomgomg
Received: Thu Mar 28, 8:24 pm
From: Gil
PLEASE PLEASE TELL ME YOU GOT PICS
Received: Thu Mar 28, 9:28 pm
From: Mattie
Several. Sending one now.
Received: Thu Mar 28, 8:30 pm
From: Mattie
IMG_ 0328082125 .jpg
Received: Thu Mar 28, 8:32 pm
From: Gil
Your other cousin is a *beast*! I almost feel sorry for al! …Wait no i dont its al.
Received: Thu Mar 28, 9:35 pm
From: Mattie
Theres a good reason his teams doing better than mine. Dont worry bout him too much, he n ivan have done stupider things to each other
Received: Thu Mar 28, 8:39 pm
From: Gil
Wow. I think i might respect al more now. Wait. No. Its al.
Received: Thu Mar 28, 9:42 pm
From: Mattie
I think the term to be used here is 'pity the fool'.
Received: Thu Mar 28, 8:45 pm
From: Gil
Pfff
Received: Thu Mar 28, 9:47 pm
From: Mattie
C:
Received: Thu Mar 28, 8:49 pm
From: Mattie
Sweeeet sweeeet sweeeet victory
Received: Thu Mar 28, 9:21 pm
From: Gil
Nice. All around good night i see.
Received: Thu Mar 28, 10:27 pm
From: Mattie
Very much. Al and ivan didnt even tear up my truck like i thought they would. Maybe i caught it lucky tonight.
Received: Thu Mar 28, 9:31 pm
From: Gil
Maybe. I think i lost toni.
Received: Thu Mar 28, 10:40 pm
From: Mattie
How do you lose an energetic spanish soccer star?
Received: Thu Mar 28, 9:51 pm
From: Gil
Well its hard keeping track of him when he keeps running after people who wont give him the time of day w/out any warning!
Received: Thu Mar 28, 10:55 pm
From: Mattie
I thought you had him on a leash?
Received: Thu Mar 28, 9:58 pm
From: Gil
I thought i did too! And then i look down and hes GONE and what the hell bro where the fuck are you
Received: Thu Mar 28, 11:01 pm
From: Mattie
Hes a big boy, gil, he can take care of himself. Stop worrying so much.
Received: Thu Mar 28, 10:04 pm
From: Gil
You dont understand. This is the kid who stole a maserati because a pretty boy asked him to when we went to naples.
Received: Thu Mar 28, 11:07 pm
From: Gil
And then ditched the car and the kid when he figured out it was a girl! HE CANNOT BE TRUSTED ALONE IN A FOREIGN COUNTRY EVER AGAIN
Received: Thu Mar 28, 11:09 pm
From: Mattie
I see. Call him maybe?
Received: Thu Mar 28, 10:12 pm
From: Gil
Tried that. He left it in our room. I heard it ring. The idiot.
Received: Thu Mar 28, 11:15 pm
From: Mattie
… How scatterbrained do you get?
Received: Thu Mar 28, 10:19 pm
From: Gil
At least he wore pants this time. Seriously where the fuck did he go
Received: Thu Mar 28, 11:24 pm
From: Mattie
Retrace your steps. Also it might be worthwhile to look into anyone hes hit on today, It might prove useful.
Received: Thu Mar 28, 10:28 pm
From: Gil
See this is why i tell you things.
Received: Thu Mar 28, 11:30 pm
From: Mattie
Always a pleasure to help
Received: Thu Mar 28, 10:34 pm
From: Gil
Okay i found angry italians bro from earlier today and hes missing too. Why does toni always go for the prickly ones
Received: Thu Mar 28, 11:57 pm
From: Mattie
Hehehe
Received: Thu Mar 28, 10:59 pm
From: Gil
Also this kid could totally give toni a run for his money in the airheaded dept.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 12:05 am
From: Mattie
Oh good lord. Good luck. Im going to sleep.
Received: Thu Mar 28, 11:09 pm
From: Gil
Nuuu dont go i need you! For moral support!
Received: Fri Mar 29, 12:11 am
From: Mattie
Fiiiiine. But dont expect smart or long responses from me.
Received: Thu Mar 28, 11:15 pm
From: Gil
Yay! This kid is actually adorable. But kind of annoying. We need to find toni and angry ital soon.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 12:20 am
From: Mattie
Yes you do so i can go to sleep.
Received: Thu Mar 28, 11:23 pm
From: Gil
Aww stop whining. You know you like talking to the awesome me.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 12:28 am
From: Mattie
Mmmm. I like sleeping more.
Received: Thu Mar 28, 11:34 pm
From: Gil
But this is FUN and EXCITING!
Received: Fri Mar 29, 12:37 am
From: Gil
If he took angry ital to the beach i will murder him. After i take blackmail pics.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 12:42 am
From: Gil
IMG_ 0328082349 .jpg
Received: Fri Mar 29, 12:50 am
From: Mattie
Whole new meaning to 'sex on the beach' eh
Received: Thu Mar 28, 11:53 pm
From: Gil
Oh eeewww. Dont wanna think about toni having gay sex thank you very much
Received: Fri Mar 29, 12:59 am
From: Mattie
Whatever, You found him so im going to sleep. Gotta get up early tomorrow.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 1:02 am
From: Gil
Mmmm k fine. Sleep tight.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 12:05 am
From: Mattie
Al is hilarious in the morning. He just knocked over all ivans snowmen as we left. To be fair they were strange snowmen.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 6:32 am
From: Gil
Hehe
Received: Fri Mar 29 7:40 am
From: Mattie
Btw may go out of service. Oh well its al/family. Gotta do what you gotta do
Received: Fri Mar 29, 6:54 am
From: Gil
Ahhh youre still hanging out with him? What about meeee?
Received: Fri Mar 29, 9:01 am
From: Mattie
Of course i am! Hes my cousin and hes awesome! Dont diss the al!
Received: Fri Mar 29, 8:05 am
From: Gil
What? …. Al give mattie his phone back. Not cool man.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 9:08 am
From: Mattie
Make me! Besides hes driving so he cant talk. And im totally his fave so you can just kiss my ass.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 8:11 am
From: Gil
Nuh uuuh! Matt totally likes me more! You can ask him if youre not sure!
Received: Fri Mar 29, 9:14 am
From: Mattie
Like hed tell me straight up if i asked him! … Actually he would. Anyway bloods so much thicker than water that that would be completely unnecessary.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 8:16 am
From: Gil
Psh. You can pick your friends, and he picked me. So there. :P
Received: Fri Mar 29, 9:18 am
From: Mattie
Al is such a diva im surprised he hasnt turned into a girl yet. Oh and i think art knows who you are already.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 9:26 am
From: Gil
You said it! And what is this now?
Received: Fri Mar 29, 10:30 am
From: Mattie
Yeah he was way too interested when al threw a hissy fit bout us talking. Did let me see al get scared shitless by someone other than ivan though which was fun
Received: Fri Mar 29, 9:35 am
From: Gil
Lol awesome. I really need those stalker pics.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 10:38 am
From: Mattie
Hockey hockey hockey
Received: Fri Mar 29, 9:46 am
From: Gil
You are so canadian. I bet you bleed maple syrup and your patronus is a beaver.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 10:50 am
From: Gil
Toni i love you man but if our moms werent dating i would have ditched you two days ago.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 12:12 pm
From: Mattie
I love winning. One day im gonna hustle my teammates w al. One day
Received: Fri Mar 29, 12:30 pm
From: Gil
Lol al plays hockey?
Received: Fri Mar 29, 1:32 pm
From: Mattie
He did spend several yrs of his life at my house. With my dad. And my bro. And me.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 12:40 pm
From: Gil
Ah. I see. My skin is now pink
Received: Fri Mar 29, 1:43 pm
From: Gil
Oh screw it tonio do what you want. Im hiding from the sun so i can wear a shirt w/out cursing later.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 1:56 pm
From: Mattie
Good idea. I have poutine. Life is good.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 12:59 pm
From: Gil
I have an endless supply of silly cocktail drinks and several groups of people to annoy. Life is good.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 2:05 pm
From: Mattie
Go for the old ladies playing bridge sitting by the window over the pool so they can check out the lifeguard.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 1:11 pm
From: Gil
Pokeno actually but nice guess. Actually i may go crash the pool tables. I think i see itals gpa over there and he is made of win
Received: Fri Mar 29, 2:14 pm
From: Mattie
Have fun. Im going skidooing.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 1:16 pm
From: Gil
I love how different we are.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 2:19 pm
From: Mattie
Story of my life.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 1:23 pm
From: Mattie
IMG_ 0329081426 .jpg
This is art. Wearing als bomber jacket aka his favorite thing ever. Al is WHIPPED.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 1:31 pm
From: Gil
Ohmygod. Thank you for this. And youre totally right. How does a stuffy old fart like that stand al i dont even
Received: Fri Mar 29, 2:36 pm
From: Gil
I love these guys
Received: Fri Mar 29, 2:57 pm
From: Gil
I think itals gpa just recruited me and the bartender to help him bother the old ladies. I want to be him when i grow up.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 3:43 pm
From: Mattie
Sounds like a blast. I just saw a European backpacker do a backflip in a skidoo. It was as awesome as it sounds.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 5:29 pm
From: Gil
I love it. Im still hanging out with those old guys. Weve switched to throwing ice at people from the penthouse balcony. Life is awesome.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 6:35 pm
From: Mattie
…. How old are these guys?
Received: Fri Mar 29, 5:37 pm
From: Gil
Youngest has to be at least 40 years older than me.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 6:40 pm
From: Mattie
I cannot think of anything intelligent to say.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 5:46 pm
From: Gil
Dont think, appreciate it for the awesomeness that it is!
Received: Fri Mar 29, 6:49 pm
From: Mattie
Whatever you say. Guess it brings a whole new meaning to 'old souls'.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 5:52 pm
From: Gil
You said it. Badass grandpas all over the place.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 6:56 pm
From: Gil
BA and important. Ive got a music vp, state sen, tax man, rocket sci prof and af commander in the room w me. Throwing ice at half naked people 10 stories down.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 7:05 pm
From: Mattie
Why are these people not in our generation
Received: Fri Mar 29, 6:07 pm
From: Gil
According to rocket sci prof its cause we need seasoning.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 7:10 pm
From: Mattie
Of course. Youve just got a headstart cause of the white hair thing.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 6:13 pm
From: Gil
Pff. That was both horrible and one of the first things they said to me. Congrats. You have the sense of humor of a 65 yr old man.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 7:17 pm
From: Mattie
Is it strange that im actually flattered?
Received: Fri Mar 29, 6:22 pm
From: Gil
Not at all.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 7:24 pm
From: Mattie
Good.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 6:25 pm
From: Mattie
Okay there is seriously a ncis thing going on here.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 6:40 pm
From: Gil
How so?
Received: Fri Mar 29, 7:43 pm
From: Mattie
Camp owner = gibbs, right hand man = tony, computer nerd = mcgee.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 6:46 pm
From: Gil
Haha awesome. No kate or ziva?
Received: Fri Mar 29, 7:48 pm
From: Mattie
No because that would be my cousin and I do not want to be attracted to my cousin.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 6:51 pm
From: Gil
AL WOULD BE YOUR ZIVA?
Received: Fri Mar 29, 7:52 pm
From: Mattie
Pffffff hahahahaha no. Girl cousin, ivans lil sis. Al would be abby. Or palmer.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 6:54 pm
From: Gil
Palmer most def. Because I do NOT want to be attracted to al.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 7:57 pm
From: Mattie
Haha okay. Then art would be ducky? I mean he is a brit.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 6:59 pm
From: Gil
Ohgod ohgod ducky/palmer DNW DNW DNWWWW
Received: Fri Mar 29, 8:00 pm
From: Mattie
LOL. Then hell be jenny?
Received: Fri Mar 29, 7:01 pm
From: Gil
Idk. As long as its not ducky.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 8:02 pm
From: Mattie
Haha okay. Hell be random guest star #23.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 7:04 pm
From: Gil
Lol i like that.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 8:05 pm
From: Gil
Man i could talk to these guys forever
Received: Fri Mar 29, 8:11 pm
From: Mattie
I bet. I love air farce. So much
Received: Fri Mar 29, 7:15 pm
From: Gil
So youve said. Mmm getting dark. Maybe i should find toni now.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 8:18 pm
From: Mattie
I thought you were gonna let him fend for himself?
Received: Fri Mar 29, 7:20 pm
From: Gil
Not after dark. Who knows what shit hell get himself into.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 8:22 pm
From: Mattie
You worry too much. I bet hes still with the angry italian.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 7:25 pm
From: Gil
*Sigh* probably. Probably slapped to an inch of his life too. He has no tact.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 8:27 pm
From: Gil
I love how itals ba gpa has an iphone. Like a lot.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 8:35 pm
From: Mattie
That is great.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 7:38 pm
From: Mattie
Okay al just carried art out of the room. I am confused. And kind of speechless.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 7:39 pm
From: Gil
Youre making me want to come up there. A lot. But that would mean leaving behind my ba gpa posse. Def hanging with these guys tomorrow.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 8:42 pm
From: Mattie
You need friends your own age man. I am still confused btw.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 7:45 pm
From: Gil
But no one i know is as cool as these guys! And isnt it obvious? Als taking him away to make wild sweet love to him
Received: Fri Mar 29, 8:46 pm
From: Mattie
So what am i a duck?
Received: Fri Mar 29, 7:48 pm
From: Mattie
Also so youre okay with the idea of straightish al having gay sex but not blatantly gay antonio?
Received: Fri Mar 29, 7:49 pm
From: Gil
… Well when you put it that way no.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 8:52 pm
From: Gil
No youre a beaver. Or a moose. Jk jk you know you never count when i talk about the world.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 8:54 pm
From: Mattie
Good. Keep it that way.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 7:56 pm
From: Gil
♥
Received: Fri Mar 29, 8:57 pm
From: Gil
Found toni. He was buying angry ital produce. Strangely it seemed to be working for him.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 9:21 pm
From: Mattie
That is odd. I guess theyre made for each other.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 8:23 pm
From: Gil
I guess. Its kinda creepy.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 9:27 pm
From: Mattie
Al and art still arent back. Im worried for arts safety. And his virginity.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 8:38 pm
From: Gil
You sure you need to be worried about the last one?
Received: Fri Mar 29, 9:41 pm
From: Mattie
…. Okay ALS virginity.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 8:42 pm
From: Gil
That's the spirit! Although maybe if he got some he wouldnt be such a dick.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 9:43 pm
From: Mattie
Whatever you say mr. Kettle.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 8:44 pm
From: Gil
Are you taking his side?
Received: Fri Mar 29, 9:45 pm
From: Mattie
Nope. Both of you are dicks.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 8:46 pm
From: Gil
Touche. Okay im bored. Spying on toni and angry ital isnt interesting anymore.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 9:49 pm
From: Mattie
Go jump in the ocean.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 8:50 pm
From: Gil
Youre no help.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 9:51 pm
From: Mattie
I know. Part of my charm.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 8:52 pm
From: Gil
Sure. Whatever. You should go spy on al and his new toy for me.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 9:53 pm
From: Mattie
That means going outside in the cold. So no.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 8:54 pm
From: Gil
Awwww come ooooon!
Received: Fri Mar 29, 9:54 pm
From: Mattie
No. Al can handle himself for a few minutes without being watched. And i dont want to know if theyre doing anything honestly.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 8:56 pm
From: Gil
Pff. Youre a lousy friend. Wont even spy on your cousin for me. So unawesome.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 9:57 pm
From: Mattie
You hear that? Thats the sound of me not giving a good goddamn.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 8:58 pm
From: Gil
:P loser.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 9:59 pm
From: Mattie
Dickhead.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 9:00 pm
From: Gil
Youre a dickhead!
Received: Fri Mar 29, 10:01 pm
From: Mattie
Oh go find some drunk girls to hit on
Received: Fri Mar 29, 9:01 pm
From: Gil
I will! And ill be sure to shove it in your face when it works too!
Received: Fri Mar 29, 10:02 pm
From: Mattie
Please spare me. I would prefer not to be forced to pull my own eyes from my skull.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 9:03 pm
From: Gil
Harsh man. Real harsh.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 10:03 pm
From: Mattie
Yeah well. Its not like you like me for my sweet and easygoing nature.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 9:05 pm
From: Gil
True dat. Hello beachfront prop party to crash.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 10:06 pm
From: Gil
Oooh they have nice food. And beer.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 10:09 pm
From: Mattie
Lovely. Mmm news is on and im tired. Going to sleep.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 9:12 pm
From: Gil
Sometimes i think youre lamer than me.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 10:14 pm
From: Mattie
Yeah right. At least i didnt spend my entire day hanging out with cranky old men.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 9:15 pm
From: Gil
Hey those were awesome old men! You agreed with me!
Received: Fri Mar 29, 10:17 pm
From: Mattie
They were still old men.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 9:18 pm
From: Gil
Youre an old man
Received: Fri Mar 29, 10:18 pm
From: Mattie
Well if im old then youre ancient.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 9:20 pm
From: Gil
You need to stop disproving my logic.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 10:21 pm
From: Mattie
What logic?
Received: Fri Mar 29, 9:22 pm
From: Gil
I hate you.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 10:23 pm
From: Mattie
Aww you know you love it
Received: Fri Mar 29, 9:24 pm
From: Gil
Sure whatever. This party sucks. *Steals beer and moves on*
Received: Fri Mar 29, 10:30 pm
From: Mattie
Classic. I do not want pics if you do miraculously get lucky btw
Received: Fri Mar 29, 9:32 pm
From: Gil
I am insulted that you think im that trashy.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 10:33 pm
From: Mattie
I dont. Im just warning you.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 9:34 pm
From: Gil
Oh yeah? Well what're you gonna do about it if i do?
Received: Fri Mar 29, 10:35 pm
From: Mattie
That's an easy one. Give it to al.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 9:36 pm
From: Gil
You drive a hard bargain my friend. Also i think you may be part evil.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 10:36 pm
From: Mattie
This i know.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 9:37 pm
From: Gil
Ah sweet more free beer
Received: Fri Mar 29, 10:43 pm
From: Mattie
Do you realize that you keep waking me up when im almost asleep and i am really fucking annoyed at you right now
Received: Fri Mar 29, 9:44 pm
From: Gil
Mwahahahahhahahha all part of my plan
Received: Fri Mar 29, 10:45 pm
From: Mattie
I hate you. And im turning my ringer off.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 9:46 pm
From: Gil
Well poo to you.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 10:47 pm
From: Mattie
If you care al and art just came in. Woke me up. Again. I am going to kill him tomorrow.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 10:32 pm
From: Gil
I do care. Immensely. I will applaud you and give you free things if you actually go through with that.
Received: Fri Mar 29, 11:34 pm
From: Mattie
Okay when i go on a killing spree art will be spared. He makes awesome coffee.
Received: Sat Mar 30, 6:37 am
From: Mattie
Yay boarding!
Received: Sat Mar 30, 7:41 am
From: Gil
Wait doesnt that go against everything about british people ever? The coffee thing I mean.
Received: Sat Mar 30, 9:39 am
From: Mattie
XD yeah I guess so. He works at a coffeeshop so idk i think he makes it more than he drinks it. It makes sense somehow
Received: Sat Mar 30, 8:40 am
From: Gil
Hmm. Whatever. I think im gonna find those old guys. Toni ditched me for his angry ital again
Received: Sat Mar 30, 9:41 am
From: Mattie
Aww poor baby.
Received: Sat Mar 30, 8:43 am
From: Gil
Shut up loser.
Received: Sat Mar 30, 9:44 am
From: Mattie
Oh is that all you got?
Received: Sat Mar 30, 8:46 am
From: Gil
I will grind your bones into dust and use it as baking powder when i make you a bday cake AND THEN I WILL EAT IT ALL MYSELF WHILE YOU WATCH.
Received: Sat Mar 30, 9:48 am
From: Mattie
… Whatever it is youre on i want some.
Received: Sat Mar 30, 8:50 am
From: Gil
Its called awesome, and im the only one who makes it. Deal with it.
Received: Sat Mar 30, 9:51 am
From: Mattie
Then youve gotta mail it to me some time. I want to take it on a test run.
Received: Sat Mar 30, 8:52 am
From: Gil
Ill make a batch just for you when i come up. Or you come down here.
Received: Sat Mar 30, 9:54 am
From: Mattie
XD one day.
Received: Sat Mar 30, 8:55 am
From: Gil
Ooooone daaayyy
Received: Sat Mar 30, 9:56 am
From: Mattie
Als trying to give me the silent treatment. Hes crap at the silent treatment.
Received: Sat Mar 30, 8:57 am
From: Gil
Kesesese nice.
Received: Sat Mar 30, 9:57 am
From: Mattie
I still cant believe you still use 'kesesesese'.
Received: Sat Mar 30, 8:58 am
From: Gil
Theres nothing wrong with kesesese! Its cool and original!
Received: Sat Mar 30, 9:59 am
From: Mattie
Originally retarded maybe. You got that from a drunken typo. I think that says a lot.
Received: Sat Mar 30, 9:00 am
From: Gil
Hey screw you.
Received: Sat Mar 30, 10:00 am
From: Mattie
I would but its kind of hard to screw yourself. Im not conceited like you or al.
Received: Sat Mar 30, 9:01 am
From: Gil
Where do you have room in your body for all of your snark
Received: Sat Mar 30, 10:03 am
From: Mattie
I think it stays mainly in my spleen. What else is a spleen good for anyway.
Received: Sat Mar 30, 9:04 am
From: Gil
I think I just heard my anatomy teacher die inside.
Received: Sat Mar 30, 10:05 am
From: Gil
Thank you.
Received: Sat Mar 30, 10:05 am
From: Mattie
Haha no prob.
Received: Sat Mar 30, 9:06 am
From: Mattie
It is going to be so hilarious watching art fall on his ass all day long.
Received: Sat Mar 30, 9:10 am
From: Gil
I thought you liked him?
Received: Sat Mar 30, 10:11 am
From: Mattie
Oh i do. He just is a very stiff and formal kind of person so itll be funny to see him lose his dignity.
Received: Sat Mar 30, 9:13 am
From: Mattie
Also i am totally going to push al into a tree
Received: Sat Mar 30, 9:14 am
From: Gil
I will bow down to you for at least a week if you do.
Received: Sat Mar 30, 10:15 am
From: Mattie
Only a week? I am so underappreciated these days
Received: Sat Mar 30, 9:16 am
From: Gil
Okay maybe a month. But no longer.
Received: Sat Mar 30 10:18 am
From: Mattie
Thats better.
Received: Sat Mar 30 9:19 am
From: Gil
I just got hit with a weird fuzzy feeling about us. Im not sure how to respond to this.
Received: Sat Mar 30 10:22 am
From: Mattie
Pfff. Probably with your usual level of wit and subtlety
Received: Sat Mar 30 9:23 am
From: Gil
Exactly. I figured out what it means.
Received: Sat Mar 30 10:24 am
From: Mattie
Eh?
Received: Sat Mar 30 9:24 am
From: Gil
If you were a girl wed be fucking right now.
Received: Sat Mar 30 10:25 am
From: Mattie
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF. What. And why am i the girl
Received: Sat Mar 30 9:27 am
From: Gil
Yes. You know it to be true. Also youre totally the bitch in the relationship. Isnt it obvious by now?
Received: Sat Mar 30 10:28 am
From: Mattie
Im not the bitch, im the bossy housewife.
Received: Sat Mar 30 9:30 am
From: Gil
But youre still the woman.
Received: Sat Mar 30 10:31 am
From: Mattie
In the 'true leader of the household' woman way yes. Because thats what my mom is and i would so totally be my mom if i was a girl.
Received: Sat Mar 30 9:33 am
From: Gil
So basically you want me to screw your mom.
Received: Sat Mar 30 10:34 am
From: Mattie
… I did not intend for that to happen.
Received: Sat Mar 30 9:35 am
From: Gil
Well it did so i win.
Received: Sat Mar 30 10:36 am
From: Mattie
Oh shut up. Find your old men yet?
Received: Sat Mar 30 9:38 am
From: Gil
Almost. Toni didnt come back last night. Maybe i should get angry itals number just so i can keep track of him
Received: Sat Mar 30 10:40 am
From: Mattie
That convo will go over well. What do you mean almost?
Received: Sat Mar 30 9:41 am
From: Gil
Ive found their trail of broken objects and angry people but i havent quite reached their position yet. And shit youre right. Ill steal it from his gpa.
Received: Sat Mar 30 10:43 am
From: Mattie
Good plan. I really wish i knew these guys.
Received: Sat Mar 30 9:45 am
From: Gil
I wish you did too. I just found them fishing off the side of the pier. Next to a fishing yacht. Why do i get this feeling that they own the yacht
Received: Sat Mar 30 10:48 am
From: Mattie
Well there was that one traveling salesman.
Received: Sat Mar 30 9:50 am
From: Gil
Hahahaa nice
Received: Sat Mar 30 10:51 am
From: Gil
Oh okay they own the yacht AND the pier.
Received: Sat Mar 30 10:54 am
From: Mattie
Pfff. Awesome. Let them take you deep sea fishing please
Received: Sat Mar 30 9:55 am
From: Gil
I didnt even have to bring it up. I think they may have been waiting on me. Love for them just doubled.
Received: Sat Mar 30 10:58 am
From: Mattie
That is great. I hope they let you drink too
Received: Sat Mar 30 10:00 am
From: Gil
I dunno. One is a state senator so underage drinking in his presence may be bad. I dont think ceo or commander care though.
Received: Sat Mar 30 11:04 am
From: Mattie
Ceo might enable you. I can see it. Almost to nakiska
Received: Sat Mar 30 10:05 am
From: Gil
Bahahaha i can see it too. Does that mean no more you?
Received: Sat Mar 30 11:09 am
From: Mattie
Not necessarily no more me but def. Not regular me. And its in a few minutes so weve got time ;)
Received: Sat Mar 30 10:11 am
From: Gil
Ah. I see.
Received: Sat Mar 30 11:09 am
From: Gil
Boats boats boats boats
Received: Sat Mar 30 11:14 am
From: Mattie
Snow snow snow snow
Received: Sat Mar 30 10:18 am
From: Gil
I almost hung a dolphin
Received: Sat Mar 30 2:37 pm
From: Mattie
Dont tell greenpeace. I got owned by a 13 yo girl. Art gave up already.
Received: Sat Mar 30 1:59 pm
From: Gil
I laugh in your general direction. At least mine wasnt embarrassing.
Received: Sat Mar 30 3:08 pm
From: Mattie
Shut your trap.
Received: Sat Mar 30 2:15 pm
From: Mattie
Okay i wish you were here to pester this ski snob al and i just ran into. He needs some gil annoying to make him bearable for normal people.
Received: Sat Mar 30 2:46 pm
From: Gil
The old guys are taking me to dinner now at one of their places. Apparently af comm. Is also an amateur gourmet cook
Received: Sat Mar 30 4:45 pm
From: Mattie
A little early for dinner, dontcha think?
Received: Sat Mar 30 3:58 pm
From: Gil
Nah. Since we have to cook the pile of fish we caught, I figure its just the right time.
Received: Sat Mar 30 5:09 pm
From: Mattie
I see. We just left nakiska btw. Lotsa bonding time with al today.
Received: Sat Mar 30 4:12 pm
From: Gil
I guess im glad to hear it.
Received: Sat Mar 30 5:14 pm
From: Mattie
You are. More bonding time w al = more secret things i know about him.
Received: Sat Mar 30 4:15 pm
From: Gil
Im really glad im not related to you actually.
Received: Sat Mar 30 5:17 pm
From: Mattie
Hahahahaa. My knee hurts.
Received: Sat Mar 30 4:20 pm
From: Gil
Well thats what you get when you let yourself do things like snowboard. If it isnt obvious this guys house is a-MAY-zing
Received: Sat Mar 30 5:24 pm
From: Mattie
Predictable. I bet its three stories and has a tank in the basement.
Received: Sat Mar 30 4:25 pm
From: Gil
Ooooh must find subtle way to investigate mancave in basement now
Received: Sat Mar 30 5:31 pm
From: Mattie
Please do.
Received: Sat Mar 30 4:32 pm
From: Gil
Well theres not a tank but there are seven sets of golf clubs and a souvenir nazi flag signed by his regiment.
Received: Sat Mar 30 5:46 pm
From: Mattie
Epic. I assume you arent telling him about your nazi ancestors
Received: Sat Mar 30 4:47 pm
From: Gil
Hell to the fucking no. I would get kicked out so hard i wouldnt have time to sneeze
Received: Sat Mar 30 5:50 pm
From: Mattie
Smart boy. I knew there was a reason i still talked to you.
Received: Sat Mar 30 4:51 pm
From: Gil
Got angry itals num and am now getting owned in pool btwn guitar hero matches against ital gpa on his iphone. Let it never be said that old people are boring.
Received: Sat Mar 30 6:04 pm
From: Mattie
They may not be boring, but you are still the loneliest tv star i know.
Received: Sat Mar 30 5:06 pm
From: Gil
Im the ONLY tv star you know
Received: Sat Mar 30 6:12 pm
From: Mattie
…. Dude.
Received: Sat Mar 30 5:13 pm
From: Gil
Oh right al sorry. Forgot about him for a minute there. Distracted by the 7 ball.
Received: Sat Mar 30 6:20 pm
From: Mattie
Sure you were.
Received: Sat Mar 30 5:21 pm
From: Gil
Btw i dont care if im lonely. Its more fun to float around groups. No strings attached you see
Received: Sat Mar 30 6:25 pm
From: Mattie
Oh of course.
Received: Sat Mar 30 5:25 pm
From: Gil
Youre the only one awesome enough to keep up with me anyway
Received: Sat Mar 30 6:31 pm
From: Mattie
So youre blaming your loneliness on me now eh?
Received: Sat Mar 30 5:32 pm
From: Gil
Stfu you know exactly what i mean.
Received: Sat Mar 30 6:34 pm
From: Mattie
:P but its just so much fun to mess with you
Received: Sat Mar 30 5:35 pm
From: Gil
grrrr
Received: Sat Mar 30 6:39 pm
From: Mattie
IMG_ 0330081746 .jpg
Here. Have an adorably disgustingly cute picture of al and art sleeping on each other in the backseat as my apology.
Received: Sat Mar 30 5:48 pm
From: Gil
Ohmygod. Guys should not be allowed to look that cute.
Received: Sat Mar 30 6:50 pm
From: Mattie
Youre telling me. This is MY COUSIN.
Received: Sat Mar 30 5:51 pm
From: Gil
Its like the aspca commercials with the abused puppies and the sarah mclachlan bg music.
Received: Sat Mar 30 6:55 pm
From: Mattie
Ffff yes. Tear up my heartstrings with those big doe eyes
Received: Sat Mar 30 5:56 pm
From: Gil
Exactly. So tell me more about this arthur character while i look for the bathroom/explore.
Received: Sat Mar 30 6:57 pm
From: Mattie
1/2 Hes kinda grumpy and easily flustered. Last name kirkland. Apparently he used t be old money and had a falling out w parents. 1st yr at oxfo
Received: Sat Mar 30 6:01 pm
From: Mattie
2/2 rd. Very sarcastic, borderline unpleasantly but not quite. At least seems to stand al more than most people. Makes awesome coffee.
Received: Sat Mar 30 6:02 pm
From: Gil
… I feel like ive heard of arthur kirkland before.
Received: Sat Mar 30 7:04 pm
From: Mattie
Orly
Received: Sat Mar 30 6:04 pm
From: Gil
Cant put my finger on it though. Hmmmm
Received: Sat Mar 30 7:06 pm
From: Mattie
Eh itll come to you soon enough.
Received: Sat Mar 30 6:09 pm
From: Gil
I guess so. I want this house.
Received: Sat Mar 30 7:10 pm
From: Mattie
So very predictable. Dont leave your old men pining for too long now.
Received: Sat Mar 30 6:12 pm
From: Gil
Hahahaha no worries. They wont even miss me.
Received: Sat Mar 30 7:15 pm
From: Mattie
Oh im sure you've managed to make yourself a staple of the posse in two days. Shower now brb
Received: Sat Mar 30 6:17 pm
From: Gil
Mk. Commanders wife is here now. Apparently shes an anathesiologist with a blackbelt in karate.
Received: Sat Mar 30 7:22 pm
From: Gil
This is so much better than party hopping
Received: Sat Mar 30 7:34 pm
From: Mattie
Coldest. Shower. Ever.
Received: Sat Mar 30 6:40 pm
From: Gil
Thats what you get for taking a shower in the outback of alberta.
Received: Sat Mar 30 7:43 pm
From: Mattie
Yeah whatever.
Received: Sat Mar 30 6:46 pm
From: Mattie
Im ignoring that you just called canada the outback btw
Received: Sat Mar 30 6:48 pm
From: Gil
You know you love it :)
Received: Sat Mar 30 7:50 pm
From: Gil
Dinner time!
Received: Sat Mar 30 7:57 pm
From: Mattie
Haha same for me.
Received: Sat Mar 30 6:58 pm
From: Mattie
Heheehehe were going out to eat now. I hope they have alcohol.
Received: Sat Mar 30 7:01 pm
From: Gil
Why? Besides the obvious.
Received: Sat Mar 30 8:02 pm
From: Mattie
Getting al drunk is a hobby of mine.
Received: Sat Mar 30 7:02 pm
From: Gil
I fucking love you man
Received: Sat Mar 30 8:03 pm
From: Mattie
Is this the bromantic way or the 'if you were a girl wed be fucking' way?
Received: Sat Mar 30 7:04 pm
From: Gil
Both, presumably.
Received: Sat Mar 30 8:05 pm
From: Mattie
Ah. They do have alcohol. This is going to be a great night.
Received: Sat Mar 30 7:09 pm
From: Gil
I will accept any and all pics you send me. Af comm can cook!
Received: Sat Mar 30 8:12 pm
From: Mattie
They just keep getting cooler and cooler.
Received: Sat Mar 30 7:15 pm
From: Mattie
Commence Operation Whiskey aka Get Al Sloshed
Received: Sat Mar 30 7:20 pm
From: Gil
Received: Sat Mar 30 8:21 pm
From: Mattie
I love this bar
Received: Sat Mar 30 7:38 pm
From: Gil
Its your kind of place?
Received: Sat Mar 30 8:46 pm
From: Mattie
Precisely.
Received: Sat Mar 30 7:47 pm
From: Mattie
Hahahahaha exactly as planned
Received: Sat Mar 30 8:09 pm
From: Gil
Hehehehehe
Received: Sat Mar 30 9:11 pm
From: Mattie
Now its never have i ever in the corner with two drunk chicks from the table over
Received: Sat Mar 30 8:25 pm
From: Gil
Now im talking about 50s gangsters. Apparently tax mans wife is the goddaughter of a chicago mobster
Received: Sat Mar 30 9:31 pm
From: Mattie
Cool. I like artie drunk.
Received: Sat Mar 30 8:34 pm
From: Gil
You mean when hes drunk or when youre drunk
Received: Sat Mar 30 9:39 pm
From: Mattie
Mmmm both
Received: Sat Mar 30 8:41 pm
From: Mattie
IMG_ 0330082153 .jpg
Best night ever
Received: Sat Mar 30 8:54 pm
From: Mattie
IMG_ 0330082156 .jpg
Aaaaand suddenly als changing up his batting stance
Received: Sat Mar 30 8:58 pm
From: Gil
Fffffffff i am too shocked to fix your metaphor
Received: Sat Mar 30 10:01 pm
From: Mattie
Please dont remind me about this tom. D. N. W.
Received: Sat Mar 30 9:04 pm
From: Gil
But this is gold! But okay.
Received: Sat Mar 30 10:05 pm
From: Mattie
Thanks
Received: Sat Mar 30 9:06 pm
From: Mattie
Aaaaand als down for the count. Fun and scarring while it lasted
Received: Sat Mar 30 9:11 pm
From: Gil
…What?
Received: Sat Mar 30 10:12 pm
From: Mattie
He fainted and were leaving.
Received: Sat Mar 30 9:15 pm
From: Gil
Kesesesese sesesesesesese sesesesesese sesesesesesesesesesese sesesesesesesesesesesese sesesesesesesesesese sesesesesesesese sesesesesesese sesesesesese
Received: Sat Mar 30 10:16 pm
From: Gil
Ba gpa posse is straying into areas I dont think they want my virgin minor ears hearing about. I think ill go home.
Received: Sat Mar 30 10:25 pm
From: Mattie
This coffee tastes like shit
Received: Sun Mar 31 7:20 am
From: Mattie
Thank you art for saving everyone from the terror of ludwigs 'coffee'
Received: Sun Mar 31 7:51 am
From: Gil
Oh yay antonio actually decided to come back last night!
Received: Sun Mar 31 9:04 am
From: Mattie
Yay! Driving now
Received: Sun Mar 31 8:12 am
From: Gil
Cool. Keep the phone from al.
Received: Sun Mar 31 9:14 am
From: Mattie
What was tonis last name again
Received: Sun Mar 31 10:34 am
From: Gil
Carriedo. Why?
Received: Sun Mar 31 11:35 am
From: Mattie
Omgomgomg go ask him if he knows an arthur kirkland pleeeeeeease
Received: Sun Mar 31 10:35 am
From: Gil
Um okay. Lemme find him.
Received: Sun Mar 31 11:36 am
From: Mattie
Hurryyyy
Received: Sun Mar 31 10:36 am
From: Gil
HE JUST SCREAMED LIKE A GIRL AND DOVE UNDER THE TABLE OMG I DONT EVEN. WHAT. HAHAHAHAAHAHAHA BRB DYING
Received: Sun Mar 31 11:37 am
From: Mattie
Ask him about his armada
Received: Sun Mar 31 10:38 am
From: Gil
Pfff now hes trying to get under the bed but its too low to the ground. I dont even want to know what art did to make him like this but its GOLD
Received: Sun Mar 31 11:39 am
From: Mattie
I blew it up when we were 12. We were lab partners.
Received: Sun Mar 31 10:40 am
From: Gil
Oh is this art now? Dude. Thanks. I needed this blackmail.
Received: Sun Mar 31 11:41 am
From: Mattie
Anytime
Received: Sun Mar 31 10:41 am
From: Gil
Love you man.
Received: Sun Mar 31 11:42 am
From: Gil
So today i think ill go shopping with mom and her gf.
Received: Sun Mar 31 12:05 pm
From: Mattie
Sounds like a thrill ride. Meanwhile i get to lecture al about canadian sports.
Received: Sun Mar 31 11:08 am
From: Gil
Poor al.
Received: Sun Mar 31 12:09 pm
From: Mattie
Actually scratch that were going on the zipline. Apparently its the fastest in na.
Received: Sun Mar 31 11:37 am
From: Gil
Orly
Received: Sun Mar 31 12:40 pm
From: Mattie
Yep. 140 kmph
Received: Sun Mar 31 11:42 am
From: Gil
… You are going to be very very very cold.
Received: Sun Mar 31 12:43 pm
From: Mattie
I know eh? Isnt it the greatest?
Received: Sun Mar 31 11:45 am
From: Gil
I wonder about you sometimes
Received: Sun Mar 31 12:46 pm
From: Mattie
If it makes you feel better the feeling is reciprocated.
Received: Sun Mar 31 11:47 am
From: Gil
Id wonder about you more if you didnt wonder about me too.
Received: Sun Mar 31 12:48 pm
From: Mattie
Where is this convo going
Received: Sun Mar 31 11:50 am
From: Gil
Only good places I know.
Received: Sun Mar 31 12:51 pm
From: Mattie
Bbl zipline time
Received: Sun Mar 31 11:55 am
From: Gil
Have fun beaver boy
Received: Sun Mar 31 12:56 pm
From: Gil
Remind me why i thought this was a good idea.
Received: Sun Mar 31 1:16 pm
From: Mattie
Thought what was a good idea?
Received: Sun Mar 31 12:18 pm
From: Gil
Shopping with my freaking mother in mexico
Received: Sun Mar 31 1:19 pm
From: Mattie
Because you were bored and had nothing better to do?
Received: Sun Mar 31 12:21 pm
From: Gil
Ah yes that was it. … Wait arent you ziplining atm?
Received: Sun Mar 31 1:22 pm
From: Mattie
He is. Im holding his phone. Its Arthur again.
Received: Sun Mar 31 12:27 pm
From: Gil
Really? Sweet! Nice to meet you or something like it. Hows it hanging? Why arent you zipping with them?
Received: Sun Mar 31 1:28 pm
From: Mattie
I can barely stand walking outside here let alone flying down a hill.
Received: Sun Mar 31 12:30 pm
From: Gil
Haha I dont blame you. Question. How did you meet ennis the sparkly cowboy?
Received: Sun Mar 31 1:32 pm
From: Mattie
…. You mean Alfred?
Received: Sun Mar 31 12:34 pm
From: Gil
Well of course.
Received: Sun Mar 31 1:35 pm
From: Mattie
I see. So does that make you Jack the equally sparkly cowboy?
Received: Sun Mar 31 12:39 pm
From: Gil
Whoa i def didnt see that coming. You know our show?
Received: Sun Mar 31 1:40 pm
From: Mattie
You could say that.
Received: Sun Mar 31 12:41 pm
From: Gil
Wow. Im so sorry for you.
Received: Sun Mar 31 1:41 pm
From: Mattie
Its quite all right. I lived didnt i?
Received: Sun Mar 31 12:42 pm
From: Gil
Im not sure how xD im not sure how i did.
Received: Sun Mar 31 1:43 pm
From: Mattie
Oh it wasnt that bad. Unless you rewatched it.
Received: Sun Mar 31 12:49 pm
From: Gil
Hahahaha so true.
Received: Sun Mar 31 1:50 pm
From: Mattie
Okay theyre almost done. Nice talking to you gil
Received: Sun Mar 31 12:51 pm
From: Gil
Right back at ya.
Received: Sun Mar 31 1:52 pm
From: Gil
Seriously. Why did I ever think shopping with two women was a good idea.
Received: Sun Mar 31 1:06 pm
From: Mattie
Because youre a bored masochist whose other choices are follow his stepbro or hang out with old men
Received: Sun Mar 31 12:15 pm
From: Mattie
I had fun btw
Received: Sun Mar 31 12:16 pm
From: Gil
Well thats good. Im still bored.
Received: Sun Mar 31 1:18 pm
From: Mattie
Okay al and art have switched from innocent flirting to intentional flirting. Its… Its rather… Um. Odd.
Received: Sun Mar 31 12:19 pm
From: Gil
I laugh in your general direction.
Received: Sun Mar 31 1:21 pm
From: Mattie
You are dead to me
Received: Sun Mar 31 12:22 pm
From: Gil
Dont be like that sugarcakes! WHAT ABOUT THE BABY
Received: Sun Mar 31 1:23 pm
From: Mattie
I could never be with someone who uses triple exclamation points
Received: Sun Mar 31 12:24 pm
From: Gil
Okay yeah. This is why i love you.
Received: Sun Mar 31 1:24 pm
From: Mattie
Because im picky when it comes to my men?
Received: Sun Mar 31 12:25 pm
From: Gil
Youre the only one who would play along at all
Received: Sun Mar 31 1:26 pm
From: Mattie
Im not surprised.
Received: Sun Mar 31 12:27 pm
From: Gil
Exactly!
Received: Sun Mar 31 1:28 pm
From: Mattie
Mmhmm.
Received: Sun Mar 31 12:30 pm
From: Mattie
What would i do without you
Received: Sun Mar 31 12:46 pm
From: Gil
Crash and burn
Received: Sun Mar 31 1:47 pm
From: Mattie
Thats what i thought
Received: Sun Mar 31 12:48 pm
From: Mattie
Wait was that a supernatural quote
Received: Sun Mar 31 12:51 pm
From: Gil
Took you long enough
Received: Sun Mar 31 1:52 pm
From: Mattie
So sorry diva. Als distracting me with kid stories.
Received: Sun Mar 31 12:55 pm
From: Gil
Ah. Call him wonderboy for me when you can.
Received: Sun Mar 31 1:56 pm
From: Mattie
Hahahaha okay why
Received: Sun Mar 31 12:58 pm
From: Gil
Old joke. Just do it.
Received: Sun Mar 31 1:59 pm
From: Mattie
Patience young grasshopper. Things like this take precision.
Received: Sun Mar 31 1:02 pm
From: Gil
Hehehehe well youre the master al antagonizer
Received: Sun Mar 31 2:03 pm
From: Mattie
And dont you forget it
Received: Sun Mar 31 1:05 pm
From: Mattie
So i managed to get in that wonderboy you wanted. Al just made a weird face and changed the topic with a vengeance.
Received: Sun Mar 31 1:32 pm
From: Gil
*Sigh* oh well ill take what i get.
Received: Sun Mar 31 2:35 pm
From: Gil
So apparently im celloing tonight since the bar cellist got sick. I hate how mom knows everyone.
Received: Sun Mar 31 3:27 pm
From: Mattie
Hahahahaha. Oh well youll have a good time im sure.
Received: Sun Mar 31 2:29 pm
From: Gil
:\ Yeah well see.
Received: Sun Mar 31 3:30 pm
From: Mattie
Okay time to drop al and art off.
Received: Sun Mar 31 2:33 pm
From: Gil
Tell art that ill track him down and talk to him soon
Received: Sun Mar 31 3:34 pm
From: Mattie
You can be a creepy fucker when you want to
Received: Sun Mar 31 2:42 pm
From: Gil
Whatever
Received: Sun Mar 31 3:44 pm
From: Mattie
Fucking stop and go traffic fucking airport fucking driving fucking cold fucking goodbyes
Received: Sun Mar 31 3:21 pm
From: Gil
I take it you dropped them off
Received: Sun Mar 31 4:21 pm
From: Mattie
I hate goodbyes
Received: Sun Mar 31 3:22 pm
From: Gil
I gathered that. Want me to send you something to cheer you up?
Received: Sun Mar 31 4:23 pm
From: Mattie
Sure
Received: Sun Mar 31 3:26 pm
From: Gil
IMG_ 0330082156 .jpg
You sent this to me last night. Now that theyre gone I feel no shame in reminding you of it.
Received: Sun Mar 31 4:28 pm
From: Mattie
Oh god my eyes what did you do to me
Received: Sun Mar 31 3:31 pm
From: Gil
Kesesesesesesesesesesese
Received: Sun Mar 31 4:32 pm
From: Mattie
I hate you so much
Received: Sun Mar 31 3:32 pm
From: Gil
Love you too man
Received: Sun Mar 31 4:36 pm