(no subject)
Well it's been a while since I've written. I don't think that too much has happend- other than the fact that I think that I am pregnant. It am over 2 weeks late on my period and when I woke up this morning I was puking really bad. It was awful... an NO I have not consumed any alcohol in a while. I am going to take a pregnancy test ASAP. I am scared though. I don't know if me and Wayne are really ready to have a baby. I just wish I could know what he is really thinking. I am not telling anyone that I think I'm pregnant until I know for sure--- and I'm not telling anyone about the pregnancy until I am like 5 or 6 months and know that everything is going ok. I definitely don't want to go through what I have already went through- and then people who don't know ask you how you are and then you have to explain and it's just awful for everyone, so I'm just going to keep it to myself. I mean- I am excited cuz I would LOVE to have a baby with Wayne. Wayne is the love of my life. We are married and I want to share something with him that no one else has ever given him. Our baby will be special. I am looking forward to that- but like I have said before- I need to KNOW that we are going to stay together. That is the most important thing to me right now. Well anyways, I got a letter from Mike Amirault this weekend. It was so nice to hear from him. He seems to be doing good. He is a lot more hopeful than I would be if I were in his situation. He is looking at 2012! I can't even believe that. It makes me very sad. I wrote him a letter back explaining how I feel about EVERYTHING that has happend with everything.. him, jeff, my marriage to Wayne. He is going to be very surprised when he reads that letter. I am looking forward to his next letter! Well I told him everything that has gone on with Wayne & Lee-ann and he told me that he thinks what Wayne has done to me is just wrong, and that he never cheated on me and stuff like that. And that I am pretty and that no one should want to do something like that to me- they should only want to be with me. I thought that was sweet. Well this weekend was pretty calm I guess. Me and Wayne got along well. I feel better cuz our *sex* life is back to normal.. thank god. I don't know what was up with that. Anyways, I don't know what else to say. I'll write more later.