(no subject)
Well Lee-Ann sent me an email this morning. She was just saying that she found some pictures of us from last summer at the KISS concert... and the 98 degrees concert and that she was sad that we're not friends no more and that when I turn 21 next month we should go out together and all that. This totally brings up mixed feelings for me. I'd like to pretend that nothing happend between us and that she was never with Wayne but I can't. I also feel like for once I should try to see things from her side- like how I took him from her when she least expected it. I know that hurt her badly cuz I was her best friend. I guess I just don't know how I should feel. Like sumtimes when I get mad at Wayne I think that I should just go hang out with her and that I don't really care what he thinks... but then on other days I feel differently. Maybe its just cuz me and her go waaaaayyy back to like 6th grade. One day she told Wayne that in the end when its all said and done me and her will be able to move on with our friendship and he will just be left in the dark after all that he did to both of us. See- doesn't it seem like I have to choose between my former best friend and my husband? What would you do? I mean... don't get me wrong it's like sooo much of me HATES her for everything.. but there is just this part of me which when ever we talk I just talk to her like nothing happend. Thats exactly what happens with her too. We're so angry with each other for letting him get in the middle that we can't think right and she always says she wishes that he never came between us. But would she still be saying that if he really had left me for her? Grrr---this is just so confusing. I mean she is not asking me to leave him so that me and her can be friends. She is just asking that if we do hang out not to have him with us cuz that would make her uncomfortable. I don't know if I told you or not but we actually did hang out together about a month and a half ago. Me and her were totally cool and just gossiped and had fun like the old days... but once Wayne was around us it got weird. But I know that He feels uncomfortable with me hanging with her cuz of everything- but should his opinion really even matter?? He is the one who did this! All of evntually couldv'e been friends if he had not been with her after he married me.. so it should be his problem not mine? I know that I am just babbling on and on.. I guess I am just trying to make sense out of a situation that really is messed up. Wayne says that whatever I do is up to me.. but I know how he feels about it.