"I roll the window down and then begin to breathe..."
I hit a really rough spot on Sunday evening, but I feel I rebounded from it quite nicely and had a good day today. Saturday and early Sunday were also quite nice. I love realizing that there are actually so many things I love and appreciate about being alive. Sometimes I forget that and that's just sad and wrong.
Saturday morning I headed up to Kamloops, British Columbia with my mom. The drive was overwhelmingly gorgeous. By far the nicest we've taken since the Kanab trip, and better in certain ways (like the length!). We drove right along in the midst of the Cascades and then into this river valley where Kamloops is located. It had everything - the water, the mountains, the trees, the rolling hills. The air was fresh and clean and I felt good about where I was. It had been a long time since I felt that way. The city has 90,000 people in it, so it's fairly big. At night, it's just beautiful. Not to gush, but it really was lovely. You drive up on the side of a hill and you can look down into the main part of the city and there's thousands of lights like looking down at a city from an airplane when you're going to land. And the people, I was really impressed. We experienced a bit of this back when we went to Cranbrook out in the Canadian Rockies. But this was even moreso - they are incredibly friendly and welcoming. Everyone was so polite. Between my mom and I we had about seven or eight people approach us to talk about the Tips and Everett and how nice it was that we were there to support our team. Some of them just welcomed us to the city. I am just in awe that in certain places there is something inherently warm about the people. It reminds me that human nature isn't necessarily inclined to rudeness and obnoxiousness. Of course, I am sure any city has its fair share of jerks, but obviously some less than others!
Unfortunately the Tips blew a 3-0 lead in the game and it ended up 6-4 in favor of Kamloops, but I am still glad I went. I love hockey games, I just sincerely do. I feel at home in an ice arena. And just sitting afterwards in the hotel room, eating pizza and talking with my mom - well there's something I really value about that, too. The drive back was even more pleasant than the drive there, and I felt at peace thinking about running amongst the trees outside my window. It makes me smile to think of it.
I had that aforementioned setback Sunday evening when I just sort of crashed, but with some patient help from Brian and a refocusing of my own on what I really consider my priorities in life, I felt better soon enough.
Then earlier tonight I got to go to the ticket pick-up party for the Tips home games. First the players were just milling about talking to people waiting for all the fans to get a chance to get their tickets. And then they all split off, six or seven to a table, for autographs. I only got to three of the four tables due to time constraints, but I was grinning like a dumb girl the entire time, I can assure you. I am aware that the majority of these guys wouldn't be worth my time in any kind of relationship context, don't get me wrong, but damn - that certainly doesn't take away how nice it is to get that kind of male attention for even a little while. Most of them are just so quick to smile, and are so charming and polite. In some cases they are even more well-spoken than you'd expect. It's just over-whelmingly attractive to me, as pathetic as that might seem to some. Particularly given that I am older than all of them! Ah well, if guys can consistently get attracted to girls younger than them, then why should there be a double standard that says girls can't get attracted to guys younger than them? Anyhow, this was my first chance to talk to almost the entire team and I enjoyed every minute of it, as is probably blatantly obvious now. Maybe I am weak, but just direct eye contact and a warm smile - god, it makes me weak in the knees. I could go on and on here probably, but for the sake of convincing myself that I am still sane, I will refrain!
I love being outside at night. I love the fresh mountain air. I love hotel rooms. I love ice arenas and the sounds of cheering. I love friendly people. I love sitting in the passenger seat while the car moves at eighty miles per hour and outside my window it looks like the entire world could swallow me whole. And I love that it feels comforting to think that. I love the boys with the easy smiles and the sense that I am special for just a moment in time. Not because I believe it's true, but because I remember that I will be special to someone someday and it will be real, and it will be a thousand times better than that which is incredible in and of itself. I love that something like this has been important to me for so long and has changed and grown with me. I love the interchangeability of youthful innocence, sentimentality, and being able to bring something like that into my life now and have it mean something different and something the same all at once.
I love that I can blab on and on and on....but I must sleep. And preserve sanity.
Even though I kind of like feeling insane sometimes.
Saturday morning I headed up to Kamloops, British Columbia with my mom. The drive was overwhelmingly gorgeous. By far the nicest we've taken since the Kanab trip, and better in certain ways (like the length!). We drove right along in the midst of the Cascades and then into this river valley where Kamloops is located. It had everything - the water, the mountains, the trees, the rolling hills. The air was fresh and clean and I felt good about where I was. It had been a long time since I felt that way. The city has 90,000 people in it, so it's fairly big. At night, it's just beautiful. Not to gush, but it really was lovely. You drive up on the side of a hill and you can look down into the main part of the city and there's thousands of lights like looking down at a city from an airplane when you're going to land. And the people, I was really impressed. We experienced a bit of this back when we went to Cranbrook out in the Canadian Rockies. But this was even moreso - they are incredibly friendly and welcoming. Everyone was so polite. Between my mom and I we had about seven or eight people approach us to talk about the Tips and Everett and how nice it was that we were there to support our team. Some of them just welcomed us to the city. I am just in awe that in certain places there is something inherently warm about the people. It reminds me that human nature isn't necessarily inclined to rudeness and obnoxiousness. Of course, I am sure any city has its fair share of jerks, but obviously some less than others!
Unfortunately the Tips blew a 3-0 lead in the game and it ended up 6-4 in favor of Kamloops, but I am still glad I went. I love hockey games, I just sincerely do. I feel at home in an ice arena. And just sitting afterwards in the hotel room, eating pizza and talking with my mom - well there's something I really value about that, too. The drive back was even more pleasant than the drive there, and I felt at peace thinking about running amongst the trees outside my window. It makes me smile to think of it.
I had that aforementioned setback Sunday evening when I just sort of crashed, but with some patient help from Brian and a refocusing of my own on what I really consider my priorities in life, I felt better soon enough.
Then earlier tonight I got to go to the ticket pick-up party for the Tips home games. First the players were just milling about talking to people waiting for all the fans to get a chance to get their tickets. And then they all split off, six or seven to a table, for autographs. I only got to three of the four tables due to time constraints, but I was grinning like a dumb girl the entire time, I can assure you. I am aware that the majority of these guys wouldn't be worth my time in any kind of relationship context, don't get me wrong, but damn - that certainly doesn't take away how nice it is to get that kind of male attention for even a little while. Most of them are just so quick to smile, and are so charming and polite. In some cases they are even more well-spoken than you'd expect. It's just over-whelmingly attractive to me, as pathetic as that might seem to some. Particularly given that I am older than all of them! Ah well, if guys can consistently get attracted to girls younger than them, then why should there be a double standard that says girls can't get attracted to guys younger than them? Anyhow, this was my first chance to talk to almost the entire team and I enjoyed every minute of it, as is probably blatantly obvious now. Maybe I am weak, but just direct eye contact and a warm smile - god, it makes me weak in the knees. I could go on and on here probably, but for the sake of convincing myself that I am still sane, I will refrain!
I love being outside at night. I love the fresh mountain air. I love hotel rooms. I love ice arenas and the sounds of cheering. I love friendly people. I love sitting in the passenger seat while the car moves at eighty miles per hour and outside my window it looks like the entire world could swallow me whole. And I love that it feels comforting to think that. I love the boys with the easy smiles and the sense that I am special for just a moment in time. Not because I believe it's true, but because I remember that I will be special to someone someday and it will be real, and it will be a thousand times better than that which is incredible in and of itself. I love that something like this has been important to me for so long and has changed and grown with me. I love the interchangeability of youthful innocence, sentimentality, and being able to bring something like that into my life now and have it mean something different and something the same all at once.
I love that I can blab on and on and on....but I must sleep. And preserve sanity.
Even though I kind of like feeling insane sometimes.