Another day in the life of
It's funny how people just assume something. Because my head doesn't like to be quiet, I put that to use as much as I can. Almost any situation I enter into that has a possible negative outcome, I've likely already considered it and accepted it as a possibility. So when it's presented to me, it's not that I don't care. It's that I've already considered it and know it's a possibility...even a likelihood depending upon who's involved. So, a panicked response isn't going to happen. If that's what it's trying to be used for, I'm sorry to say people will be disappointed. 20 years of work regarding my mental health has taught me that no matter what I do, I can't control what someone else does so there's not a real reason to get all that upset over it. It is what it is.
Threatening me doesn't do much good either. If a person has to resort to threats to get something, I'm even less likely to comply. If you've only got that as an option to get me to do what you'd like, I'm not going to comply at all. Now, if it's something that I've agreed to do, be it accepting a job, stating that I'll do something and you are making a stand about me following through on my agreement, that's another matter. Using statements like, "If you can't do this, I'll get someone who will." Gets nowhere at all with me. Because if that were truly the case, you would have done so already. "I'm expecting you to do as you've agreed to or said you would or I have to look elsewhere." That is a very very different matter. That statement is holding me accountable for something I've commited to doing and am not currenlty doing. The other is a threat / bluff because you can and I seldom respond positively to that. Unlike so many others, I am fully aware that responding like that can have a negative consequence. I'm not being a tough guy or any of that nonsense. I refuse to be treated poorly or immaturely when someone needs something of me. If there's a negative response, it's going to happen eventually anyway so I don't get that bent about it.
By the same matter, my marriage...I've presented the issues and got a reply that work will be done to improve things. I don't need to threaten because everyone knows the outcome of a relationship where there's issues and nothing improves. Everyone immediately sides against me when I'm annoyed by my husband. My guess is because how strong of a stance I take and it's felt that I'm bullying him. When I was a teenager, I got an explanation about why bullies are bullies. It made sense somehow that it would only be worthwhile for me to go after people that I don't have a high chance of success with to prove something, not ones that are easy to do. I don't want/need a perfect situation, only him to do as he's agreed to do. I've made all the changes he's requested and I expect the same. If he's not willing to do so, the result at some point has little to do with the type of person people portray me to be. The divorce rate is nearly 50%. I'm sure plenty of them are retarded reasons, but likely to have as many if not more that happened for valid reasons.
Ah, time to go be a human pin cushion in the name of continued health.
-Hotal
Threatening me doesn't do much good either. If a person has to resort to threats to get something, I'm even less likely to comply. If you've only got that as an option to get me to do what you'd like, I'm not going to comply at all. Now, if it's something that I've agreed to do, be it accepting a job, stating that I'll do something and you are making a stand about me following through on my agreement, that's another matter. Using statements like, "If you can't do this, I'll get someone who will." Gets nowhere at all with me. Because if that were truly the case, you would have done so already. "I'm expecting you to do as you've agreed to or said you would or I have to look elsewhere." That is a very very different matter. That statement is holding me accountable for something I've commited to doing and am not currenlty doing. The other is a threat / bluff because you can and I seldom respond positively to that. Unlike so many others, I am fully aware that responding like that can have a negative consequence. I'm not being a tough guy or any of that nonsense. I refuse to be treated poorly or immaturely when someone needs something of me. If there's a negative response, it's going to happen eventually anyway so I don't get that bent about it.
By the same matter, my marriage...I've presented the issues and got a reply that work will be done to improve things. I don't need to threaten because everyone knows the outcome of a relationship where there's issues and nothing improves. Everyone immediately sides against me when I'm annoyed by my husband. My guess is because how strong of a stance I take and it's felt that I'm bullying him. When I was a teenager, I got an explanation about why bullies are bullies. It made sense somehow that it would only be worthwhile for me to go after people that I don't have a high chance of success with to prove something, not ones that are easy to do. I don't want/need a perfect situation, only him to do as he's agreed to do. I've made all the changes he's requested and I expect the same. If he's not willing to do so, the result at some point has little to do with the type of person people portray me to be. The divorce rate is nearly 50%. I'm sure plenty of them are retarded reasons, but likely to have as many if not more that happened for valid reasons.
Ah, time to go be a human pin cushion in the name of continued health.
-Hotal