(no subject)
hey, havnt updated in a while, blah blah. i just went through something and i have no one to talked to right now so im just posting this so i can get this off my mind bc i feel terrible.. kay well, i have 3 dogs, 2 are like 3 years old, and my other one is 16 years old. and that really old for a dog. well my parents are divorced and when my dad moved in with his new wife, she had a dog. her name is coco and me and my brothers would go over to their house every weekend. because i didnt grow up with coco i never really gave her a chance and never really loved her. and these past few years i'v been really mean to her, because shes old and is deaf and just seems really stupid, but thats cause shes so old, its not really her fault. and this weekend my parents went out of town and they told me to keep an eye on the dogs. well this morning i woke up to the howling of coco. so i got up and say her on the floor, all four of her legs spread out. she had fallen and couldnt get herself back up, to make it worse, she'd fallen in her own poo. so i hurried up and picked her up but she couldnt stable herself so i had to pick her up and put her on the couch. after i cleaned her and the poo. but at that moment of seeing her helpless, i just started crying. because for so long i'v been mean to her and always said how i cant wait untill she dies. and now i feel so extremely horrible. im a horrible person. i was never mean to my other to dogs, the younger ones, because i grew up with them, i helped pick them out when they were babies.. and i dont know. im a horrible person. coco is, i dont even know what, shes a mix of two dogs, a mutt. and she's gotten so skinny i can pick her up. she's going to die soon, i mean i wouldnt be surprised if she didnt make it past christmas...and im going to have to liv with the guilt of being mean to her. well yeah thats all...bye.