oh jeeze
holy crap what is going on with my life.
i officially graduated from high school on saturday, june 28th. it was probably one of the strangest experiences of my life- knowing that i will never see the majority of the people i spent four entire years of my life with, ever again.
the entire experience seems strange. crossing the stage with out tripping seems a silly thing to worry about now- i'm more worried about the whole college deal. don't get me wrong- i'm excited for the new friends and faces and classes and overall extreme independence, but it seems so surreal right now. there are a solid 5 or so individuals that i feel i can't live with out right now, and i'm worried that in my new assimilation to hws that i'll do something wrong or lose contact or mess up- or even worse- forget.
saying goodbye is going to be the hardest. in retrospect, even if we haven't had classes together in high school i still stayed pretty close with these people, but i know the situation is going to change once we're hundreds of miles away from each other. i'm scared- that one last hug, that final goodbye before you go off and make friends that will turn into best friends over the next four years- it's high school all over again. i fear my own jealousy of losing my friends to their new ones- but in all probability i'll be doing the same.
of course i'm young. we're all young and reckless and ready to get out of here. the start of college and the entire post-secondary education experience is something you're supposed to look back on in ten or twenty years with fond memories. but now it's one of the only milestones in life we have- i guess that's why it seems like such a big deal. it is- don't get me wrong. it's just eerie to have all of these thoughts and feelings regarding something that seems so incredulous now but will just turn into part of "life" years from now. but alas! i'm growing up. we're all growing up. and it sucks.... kind of.