Almost Broke up with him... : (
Okay, so I'm just gunna kill the bitch Maryland.
Im gunna kill her..
Henry had mentioned some pictures that was in my MSN Myspace that I had up of josey that she said MARYLAND showed him. And i was clueless because I was pretty sure I took all those pictures down. Because I had like a whole category with just me and josey pictures and i took that down last month. Henry got so mad, first time hes actually yelled back at me. Hes like I saw that picture with his tattoo. I was like What are you talkin about seriously? Hes like Star, hang up on me. Since thats what you always do. I want you to hang up on me, make my day. C'mon star hang up on me since I'm your problem. and blah blah..he just kept repeatin that over n over again. I felt like i was gunna cry, seriously. I was like henry why u actin like this? He said I aint actin like nuthin.... i thought I found me a real girl...i just wanna find someone who is real with me. Im like HENRY I DONT KNOW WHAT THE FUCK YOUR TALKING ABOUT. Hes like, dont worry about it, it dont matter. Your just a liar.
I looked under my pictures titled as "friends" and there was like 3 pictures of him under there. I forgot about those. He thinks I intentionally meaning to lie to him. All I could think of the whole time this was happening was how i wanna beat that bitch marylands ass. WHAT THE FUCK was the point, in showing him those pictures? She Knew what she was doing. I was tryin to track down her number for like 30 minutes. I was actin like phyco bitch. I was so heated. Next time i talk to her I'm just gunna tell her straight up, no more actin like Im friends with her... I dont do that to nobody else I dont know why I do it to her. I think its just because its josey's sister. I could give a shit now.
Eventually things cooled off with us. We almost broke up today. :\ I know... He says thats what I was making it sound like I wanted to break up because he says i keep puttin a time limit on everything. And he said things should be based of feelings. And I agree, but feelings also grow stronger with time. ANd trust grows too. The quicker he understands that the better off he'll be. And I'm always talkin about how he doesnt never trust me or believe me. Hes like Star, if we are just friends we can still do what do now except I wont be asking you 21 questions..where you goin and who u chillin with. Im like that would be dumb... because I have more than friend feelings for you. And same with you.
I did something i think I'm going to regret. I told him i loved him. And I dont think I do. I have Love FOR him. I think I did because its the only way I could get him to understand that I like him a WHOLE bunch. Because for some reason he doesnt believe me. He Believed me when I said I loved him. He seemed real happy. And we got into one of our long deep discussions.
He told me, "I want to make you happy... But its hard making someone else happy when you're not happy yourself " He also said, that he dont like the feeling that you care about someone so much and you feel like you're wasting your time. When she dont be feeling the same way back. Thats how all my boyfriends I think felt about me, which is why most of them break it off with me before they get hurt.
YuP, thats it.