Sorry but its a journal. I was journaling
Cannot forget, refuse to regret
So glad I met you
but im movin onnnn fuckers! yeah!
cant WAIT for this weekend. SO utterly completely excited!
Its the only thing getting me through this week.
I got home from the gym tonight and went to my room.
i cried for so long. I wanted to cry before i went but i held it all in.
Im sick of feeling so fucking fat & gross.
I know im doing something about it and im proud of myself for it but i dont feel any better.
Im sick of feeling ugly and im sick of being terrified that when im out, i'm about to cop a "fat joke"
There is an abundance of pretty/skinny girls at my work.
Is it SO evil to want to shoot them?
*guilty face*
How is it that my mood has been soaring over the last few weeks. i havent been down at ALL.
And im still not in a way, its just that my happiness is at its peak but my self esteem is at its lowest...
therefore making me cry. excessively. i cant wait to feel moderately presentable again.
i feel like the fat girl who brings all her friends down when we're out in public.
i think im being way too honest.
i must go.
byebye
p.s. i have all my wedding songs planned
i am so not even kidding