Two Feet on the Ground [P4, Yu/Yosuke, G]
Sequel to Steadier Footing and a segueway into a larger piece that will come later.
Two Feet on the Ground
He could have stayed. He would have stayed, if only Yosuke had shown any sign that he’d wanted him to. But he didn’t, and he hadn’t, and now Yu’s only comfort is the sound of wheel against rail, lulling him into a state of half-sleep, drifting in that place where he is alone with his regrets.
These days, the list is far too long.
It was supposed to feel good to see everyone again. They’d been through hell and back together, they’d created bonds that were supposed to be unbreakable. And in some ways, maybe they are. But not in the ways that matter. They are tethered together by fate, a lifelong connection that feels like a joke now. They aren’t friends anymore, just memories of a time when things were better. Murders be damned, he’d been happy then.
Yu can’t remember a time he’s happy since.
It’s not like he moved back home and suddenly had no friends. He’s had friends, and has them now, more friends than he can even count, thanks to skills he learned in Inaba. That only makes the loneliness he feels even worse; all these friends and not one real connection. If anything, it’s having all those friends that makes him feel more alone than he can ever remember feeling. And that, in turn, makes him feel like an incredibly horrible person.
But nothing compares to the hurt and regret that comes every time he lets himself think about the distance that has grown between him and the only best friend he’s ever had.
Yosuke… he isn’t doing well. Yu may be out of touch, but he’d have to be blind not to notice. He’s not exactly thinner, perhaps - any thinner and the guy would probably disappear completely - but he hasn’t filled out any in the five years since he’d left Inaba, despite having gained a little height. It makes him look gaunt and worn, and coupled with the painfully obvious lack of that spark that had drawn him in so close to Yosuke all those years ago, it’s become hard to be around him.
And that, without question, makes him the absolute worst. The very fact that he can avert his eyes when his best friend - his partner, as Yosuke would put it - is struggling so obviously is nothing short of sickening. Some friend he turned out to be.
Yu rubs his temples in slow, soothing circles. This train of thought will get him nowhere. He’d been so full of excuses for so long - college, work, family, bills - that even if they were good excuses, on the whole there is no excuse for the state of disrepair his life is in right now; the state he’s left Yosuke to drown in. He has his degree now. He doesn’t live at home anymore. He’s still looking to apply his Nursing degree to an actual career instead of the part time stuff he’s been doing. Somehow, he’s found his heart hasn’t been in it.
Maybe it’s time to broaden his search; to look in a new location. He knows of a nice hospital in Inaba… probably still has some rapport there. It’s not like he’ll miss the city. Hadn’t missed it the last time he’d left it, won’t miss it now. His apartment isn’t anything to write home about, and his parents were gone so often that staying for them isn’t even a blip on his mental radar. He wonders if there are any openings. Maybe they’ll make room for him.
Inaba. The place he’d lived for only a year. The place he’d accomplished the most. The place he’d felt the most alive.
Home.
It will be well past dawn when the night train reaches Tokyo. Yu leans back and tries to get some rest.
After all, he has a resume to prepare and some very important phone calls to make when he arrives.
This is also posted at DW, which you can find here. Comment wherever you want!
Two Feet on the Ground
He could have stayed. He would have stayed, if only Yosuke had shown any sign that he’d wanted him to. But he didn’t, and he hadn’t, and now Yu’s only comfort is the sound of wheel against rail, lulling him into a state of half-sleep, drifting in that place where he is alone with his regrets.
These days, the list is far too long.
It was supposed to feel good to see everyone again. They’d been through hell and back together, they’d created bonds that were supposed to be unbreakable. And in some ways, maybe they are. But not in the ways that matter. They are tethered together by fate, a lifelong connection that feels like a joke now. They aren’t friends anymore, just memories of a time when things were better. Murders be damned, he’d been happy then.
Yu can’t remember a time he’s happy since.
It’s not like he moved back home and suddenly had no friends. He’s had friends, and has them now, more friends than he can even count, thanks to skills he learned in Inaba. That only makes the loneliness he feels even worse; all these friends and not one real connection. If anything, it’s having all those friends that makes him feel more alone than he can ever remember feeling. And that, in turn, makes him feel like an incredibly horrible person.
But nothing compares to the hurt and regret that comes every time he lets himself think about the distance that has grown between him and the only best friend he’s ever had.
Yosuke… he isn’t doing well. Yu may be out of touch, but he’d have to be blind not to notice. He’s not exactly thinner, perhaps - any thinner and the guy would probably disappear completely - but he hasn’t filled out any in the five years since he’d left Inaba, despite having gained a little height. It makes him look gaunt and worn, and coupled with the painfully obvious lack of that spark that had drawn him in so close to Yosuke all those years ago, it’s become hard to be around him.
And that, without question, makes him the absolute worst. The very fact that he can avert his eyes when his best friend - his partner, as Yosuke would put it - is struggling so obviously is nothing short of sickening. Some friend he turned out to be.
Yu rubs his temples in slow, soothing circles. This train of thought will get him nowhere. He’d been so full of excuses for so long - college, work, family, bills - that even if they were good excuses, on the whole there is no excuse for the state of disrepair his life is in right now; the state he’s left Yosuke to drown in. He has his degree now. He doesn’t live at home anymore. He’s still looking to apply his Nursing degree to an actual career instead of the part time stuff he’s been doing. Somehow, he’s found his heart hasn’t been in it.
Maybe it’s time to broaden his search; to look in a new location. He knows of a nice hospital in Inaba… probably still has some rapport there. It’s not like he’ll miss the city. Hadn’t missed it the last time he’d left it, won’t miss it now. His apartment isn’t anything to write home about, and his parents were gone so often that staying for them isn’t even a blip on his mental radar. He wonders if there are any openings. Maybe they’ll make room for him.
Inaba. The place he’d lived for only a year. The place he’d accomplished the most. The place he’d felt the most alive.
Home.
It will be well past dawn when the night train reaches Tokyo. Yu leans back and tries to get some rest.
After all, he has a resume to prepare and some very important phone calls to make when he arrives.
This is also posted at DW, which you can find here. Comment wherever you want!