Doing Okay
"I'm sure the view from heaven
beats the hell out of down here
And if we all believe in heaven
maybe we'll make it through
one more year down here"
- View From Heaven ~ Yellowcard
Oh yeah, it's October again, and I've been feeling pretty nostalgic, since my brother's birthday just passed. Which brought me to looking through my journal entries, because thinking of John makes me think of Terry (my step-mom) and my life as a kid, some of which I've posted just a little about. Holy crap though, I'm surprised anyone still talks to me after 2007-2008. Worst years EVER. God. I couldn't have been more emo. Though I was going through a damn lot at the time. I mean, those two years there was the getting kicked out (or kinda of walking out because I couldn't take it anymore even though I had no place to go) during Thanksgiving dinner, the rape, the homelessness which I spent most of with Tiara, the insane Lane fiasco, I was fighting with Marci, fighting with Ray, living on the edge of my ability to exist and just generally drowning all over the place. It took me a damn long time to recover.
But now, you know, things aren't so bad. There's irritating things, and I'm floundering with sleep deprivation from taking care of Jacks, but all in all, things are decent. I'm constantly busy, and I'm still doing the school thing - next semester, I finally get to go back to campus! I've been taking useless online classes to keep from paying loans while Jacks is small, so I'm so excited to finally be on track - I should be graduating in 2013. Only like nine years after I started. X.x;
Jacks is nine months now. I can hardly believe it. He can say mama, he has two teeth, and he can stand up on his own - it won't be long before he's walking! He is the most precious thing to me in the world.
Things with Ray are pretty damn good. He's working under the table in SF, doing construction. Though he could lose the job at any moment if they cease to need him, for now, we can actually afford to live. It's been a VERY long time since I could say that.
I'm doing a Gundam Wing rewatch in preparation to write for the MoR contest. Yes, I'm trying again. I don't have much time to write, though, so I've got to work it in there somehow. I also got a DDR pad, one of the good ones, for home use, though I don't have much time to play. I think I may have screwed up my knee playing too hard too fast, so I'm hoping the pain goes away soon. >.>;
I've lived a pretty crazy life. A lot of it I had no control over. And though there are still things that are out of my control, and I'm nowhere near where I should be, I'm doing damned good considering where I started. And that's something I can be proud of, right?
beats the hell out of down here
And if we all believe in heaven
maybe we'll make it through
one more year down here"
- View From Heaven ~ Yellowcard
Oh yeah, it's October again, and I've been feeling pretty nostalgic, since my brother's birthday just passed. Which brought me to looking through my journal entries, because thinking of John makes me think of Terry (my step-mom) and my life as a kid, some of which I've posted just a little about. Holy crap though, I'm surprised anyone still talks to me after 2007-2008. Worst years EVER. God. I couldn't have been more emo. Though I was going through a damn lot at the time. I mean, those two years there was the getting kicked out (or kinda of walking out because I couldn't take it anymore even though I had no place to go) during Thanksgiving dinner, the rape, the homelessness which I spent most of with Tiara, the insane Lane fiasco, I was fighting with Marci, fighting with Ray, living on the edge of my ability to exist and just generally drowning all over the place. It took me a damn long time to recover.
But now, you know, things aren't so bad. There's irritating things, and I'm floundering with sleep deprivation from taking care of Jacks, but all in all, things are decent. I'm constantly busy, and I'm still doing the school thing - next semester, I finally get to go back to campus! I've been taking useless online classes to keep from paying loans while Jacks is small, so I'm so excited to finally be on track - I should be graduating in 2013. Only like nine years after I started. X.x;
Jacks is nine months now. I can hardly believe it. He can say mama, he has two teeth, and he can stand up on his own - it won't be long before he's walking! He is the most precious thing to me in the world.
Things with Ray are pretty damn good. He's working under the table in SF, doing construction. Though he could lose the job at any moment if they cease to need him, for now, we can actually afford to live. It's been a VERY long time since I could say that.
I'm doing a Gundam Wing rewatch in preparation to write for the MoR contest. Yes, I'm trying again. I don't have much time to write, though, so I've got to work it in there somehow. I also got a DDR pad, one of the good ones, for home use, though I don't have much time to play. I think I may have screwed up my knee playing too hard too fast, so I'm hoping the pain goes away soon. >.>;
I've lived a pretty crazy life. A lot of it I had no control over. And though there are still things that are out of my control, and I'm nowhere near where I should be, I'm doing damned good considering where I started. And that's something I can be proud of, right?