today was a high and low day

[hostess79]

today started off kind of icky, was not looking forward to going to eat at my aunt's house, but had to go anyway...food was good, but then got bored, and sat there and listened to my family talk and realized a few things, my family may be SCREWED up but i don't think they are any different from anyone else's family...i was still down from not being able to see brandon today, but tried not to think about it, sometimes i wonder what is or who is not good enough for my family, but who cares, it has to be good enough for me, i got a text message from my friend Larin which made me smile, and then when i got home i got a call from Brooke, after brennan went to bed i went to go visit brooke, and we talked and cried and laughed, and i felt better, not completely better, but a little,

i get down on myself a lot, and get paranoid a lot, my mom may say that this time by myself may be good for me, but you know what, i'm the type who needs her friends, i may not have them as much right at this moment, but i still need them, i may have issues with brandon but i still need him, i need to stop pushing people away and try to start bringing them in more

This is what i am thankful for...
my life ( even as hellish that it is)
a son who still makes me laugh even though he knows i'm down
a guy who i finally realized doesn't want to give up on me
a family who allowed me to come home, and still gripe about it
a job that is the best, but still kills me, lol
and friends (nuff said)
THANKS GUYS, I LOVE YA'LL :)

now i must get some sleep, for Black Friday ahhhhhhh!!!