beyond frustrated
Just keeps going up and up and up. It's never going to stop. My reward for eating is to get fat and live in a body I loathe. That's quite the motivation. And laxatives are staying to sound really good right now. I an so bloated and need to poop so badly. But it's feels stuck. I'm trying to remind myself natural is better. But how long am I going to feel this way? On another note, I am overwhelming my husband with all of this information and feelings. And he needs to talk about something else. Basically, anything else. I wish I had that fucking luxury to escape from myself.
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