nightmares, insecurities, date
nightmares ALL night.
had dreams my husband was cheating on me with a Co worker. That he had "only" slept with her twice, but came home heavy heated and confessed to me. But wouldn't delete her from his fb because it was his bosses daughter and he needed to keep the peace! She was ugly than me. Every time I woke up I was so happy because they felt so real, only to fall asleep and pick up right where I left off! I puked in my dream. woke feeling nauseous, and years singing my eyes. If he cheated it would crumble my world. He is my crazy glue.
betting with my son he can't beat my wii boxing score. we shall see. The temptation is strong to weigh. Ugh.
And later. ... my soon didn't beat me. But I caved. Because I'm a glutton for punishment, as if I'm not feeling insecure enough after the dreams. i should be happy I'm up and at my goal of 130. yet my husband plans to take me to the olive Garden. That's a gain. This really fucking sucks. Why can't I be normal? broth and a piece of toast for lunch. definitely won't weigh tomorrow with sodium gain.
early dismissal with the kids today. may go for a walk with them before it gets too cold.
I'm a mess. This is dumb. I should be able to gain a little and not freak. But I've not been restricting. ive eaten too many cookies. They are gone now.
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