vent
I keep walking up feeling like I'm roasting! I'm not sure if it's dehydration or what! My mouth feels so dry that when I swallow I have to work up the spit, and it feels like my mouth is going to crack!
My breasts feel larger. I have GOT to get this weight down.
Waiting on a book to come in the mail. The author actually took the time to send me a copy! But it's coming from Canada. Hopefully I finish her other book by then.
I was supposed to go back to my normal diet yesterday but it got off track. It's so easy to get hooked on food for me so I have to really be careful. But I'm headed in the right direction. had a piece of peanut butter toast and some cottage cheese for breakfast. lunch will be Turkey and some pistachios.
We picked up avocados and sweet potatoes yesterday. Where I also ran into my ex who had my kids for visitation. talk about awkward. I always send the kids over to say hi to him, but he ushers them away from us. And of course my 4 year old doesn't understand why he can't go say hi to his brothers and sister. I was fine sending him over to say hi but my husband thought my ex would be a dick. He is a dick but he does draw the line at kids. So we moved as long. But Walmart is only so big so eventually we walked past them again and my son ran over without permission. And my ex just smiled what almost passed as a genuine smile. Then I had my "I told you so" moment.
Later I got an email from him. with dread I penned it but he just wanted to drop the kids off an hour earlier to catch a flight. Why he had to schedule his flights so close when he knows he had the kids, idk. But it saves me gas so whatever. I told him 5 but no earlier. He has a habit of saying 5 then drops them off at 330. And it's not like we can tell the kids to go away lol part of me wants that break and part of me gets disappointed for the kids. The older they get the less he seems to do it though. so that's good.
We have our Christmas tree up. made homemade ornaments with the kids. It was fun. I love doing stuff like that. homemade is the best. One year I took tweezers abs dipped TINY beads in glue and made their names. Then did it for my husband's nieces.
The kids are off until Wednesday. My house is mostly clean. It had better stay that way. Not sure how I'll fit exercise in with them home. I only have 3 weeks to get this weight off before Christmas comes. Then I'll have survived the holidays and not ballooned.
My sister in law did say a few things at the table during Thanksgiving that irritated me. But I'm not sure if it's because I'm sensitive to did talk, hormonal, or both. But she always encourages people to eat a LOT. "you're supposed to eat until your too full on Thanksgiving" "your supposed to gain a little weight during these holidays" then treks the sorry about how her husband (a "recovered" bulimic) ate an entire bag of chips at once that she had bought him. who buys stuff for your spouse you KNOW he can't control himself with, knowing he's trying to lose weight? and he needs to lose the weight. Then who tells the story to family abs laughs? He seems fine with it so I guess it shouldn't piss me off. But her constant encouragement towards others destruction of health irritates me. "mom is or kids birthday, eat cake and drink soda!" um... The Doctor told mom NOT to do that because her health is starting to go downhill. When you do it on special occasions when everyone gets together that often then your doing it all the time. 7 grandkids. mothers day. fathers Day. mothers birthday. fathers birthday. Christmas (at multiple houses). easter. Thanksgiving. New years. Let's count that, shall we? 17 times. Plus when you have a special dinner out? That's not a rare treat.
Ok. I think I'm done venting. I've sat on that for a few days to see how I felt. Yeah. I'm mad. Ha
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