Connected As Usual
Its funny... I don't know why these last few episodes with Melissa have been different, maybe because they have come at severely crucial points in both of our lives, coincidently both are family related. My family is falling apart, mom has filed for divorce, and stepmom is on the verge.
Melissa's problems lie in Shaun, and some with her mother. If Shaun doesnt get his shit straight, he is gonna lose something great.
I dont know if its funny, or what the right description is, but, we both seem to focus on each other when times get rough. That is quite a valuable characteristic of a great relationship. Needless to say, it makes us all the much closer, without physically pressing her up against me, lol.
Anywho, she said a lot of cool, sweet, heartfelt things in her journal about me. Things that she hasnt said to or about me in a long ass time. It felt really good, to get a peek at what really goes on in her head.
At the same time, I can only smile, because the past few days, I guess, ever since I have become a proud member of live journal, I have felt how much I actually mean to her, how I make her feel. I dont know if its because she is becoming better at expressing it, or if its just getting to the point where she actually needs me, either way, its something i havent felt from her in a long time. And it FUCKING ROCKS. Conveying those feelings are the only thing she can do that makes me happy, and doesnt violate her relationship in any way.
I hate to repeat or sulk in the moment, but, there isnt enough good I can say about her journal, and I still know she wants to work it out with Shaun. But, knowing my place, and where I stand in her mind and heart, makes it a lot easier to stand back, watch, and wait.
I guess, for those of you out there who cant understand our feelings, if you read my past few journal entries, and her most recent, it might give you a glimpse of that special something that we have, and why no matter what happens, we fight each other, and do whatever it takes to smooth things out. Again, again, again, and again, I'll fight for that feeling, until she marries, or I die. She is sometimes the only thing good/ that makes me happy in life, and my heart cant let that go.
I can only wish that all my friends can find someone who makes them feel like she makes me feel, and of course I also hope to GOD that I get a chance with her. Best wishes for love and happiness... I Love You Melissa.
Melissa's problems lie in Shaun, and some with her mother. If Shaun doesnt get his shit straight, he is gonna lose something great.
I dont know if its funny, or what the right description is, but, we both seem to focus on each other when times get rough. That is quite a valuable characteristic of a great relationship. Needless to say, it makes us all the much closer, without physically pressing her up against me, lol.
Anywho, she said a lot of cool, sweet, heartfelt things in her journal about me. Things that she hasnt said to or about me in a long ass time. It felt really good, to get a peek at what really goes on in her head.
At the same time, I can only smile, because the past few days, I guess, ever since I have become a proud member of live journal, I have felt how much I actually mean to her, how I make her feel. I dont know if its because she is becoming better at expressing it, or if its just getting to the point where she actually needs me, either way, its something i havent felt from her in a long time. And it FUCKING ROCKS. Conveying those feelings are the only thing she can do that makes me happy, and doesnt violate her relationship in any way.
I hate to repeat or sulk in the moment, but, there isnt enough good I can say about her journal, and I still know she wants to work it out with Shaun. But, knowing my place, and where I stand in her mind and heart, makes it a lot easier to stand back, watch, and wait.
I guess, for those of you out there who cant understand our feelings, if you read my past few journal entries, and her most recent, it might give you a glimpse of that special something that we have, and why no matter what happens, we fight each other, and do whatever it takes to smooth things out. Again, again, again, and again, I'll fight for that feeling, until she marries, or I die. She is sometimes the only thing good/ that makes me happy in life, and my heart cant let that go.
I can only wish that all my friends can find someone who makes them feel like she makes me feel, and of course I also hope to GOD that I get a chance with her. Best wishes for love and happiness... I Love You Melissa.