(no subject)
My last entry before going to college. I keep thinking Circles, circles, circles, everything comes full circle. I could have written this entry today and it would have been applicable to my life right now. I find comfort in reading my old livejournal entries. It is crazy to be able to look back at my 18 year old self, scared about college, and now, four years later, be like "look mare, you turned out alright. you are good. your life is good." That is so comforting.
So all summer I have been counting down the days until I can leave, escape, start OVER. Learn new things and meet new people. But now that I have less than two weeks left until I go, I want it all back. I want more time. And I want to see my friends everyday and check off things I said I would do this summer. Suddenly I am realizing how much more I want to do. How much I want to say to people. There are people that I grew apart from. People that meant a lot to me; they still do. I feel like I have so much that I want to say to them but there really is no time. And even if there was time, I know in my heart it would not be a new beginning, it would simply be closure.
I've had many different friends over the years. It's funny how most friendships seem to not truly end but fade away. I think many of my friendships have faded away. I don't think I regret that though. It happens to all of us. But those people who I have always been friends with, the ones who I didn't grow apart from, and whose friendship with me didn't fade; I will truly miss these friends. I am going to miss Jaimie and Ryan more than anyone. I always felt like I took Jaimie for granted. She has always been there for me and I always felt like I wasn't always there for her when she needed me. I want to tell her that someday. It's funny; I can't truly remember when we met, or how. But I can't remember a time when she wasn't my friend either. It was like we somehow just found eachother. Jaimie and I get along so well because in some ways, we are the same person! We think about life and the people surrounding us in a way that most people don't. I don't think I can explain this to anyone, but I think Jaimie knows what I mean. I will miss her so much.
And Ryan. I feel like we will never have enough time. If only there was more time. A way to stop the clock so we could be together forever.
"I think with all my antics,I have figured out the most powerful drug: Time. You can never have enough time, and if you're not careful it'll definately screw you. Time is definately known for changing people too. It's amazing what time has done to me so far, but then again it's all I've got these days. So whatever you do don't let time get you down, rather treat it with respect like you would a friend. Because once it's gone, it's all you'll want back."
So all summer I have been counting down the days until I can leave, escape, start OVER. Learn new things and meet new people. But now that I have less than two weeks left until I go, I want it all back. I want more time. And I want to see my friends everyday and check off things I said I would do this summer. Suddenly I am realizing how much more I want to do. How much I want to say to people. There are people that I grew apart from. People that meant a lot to me; they still do. I feel like I have so much that I want to say to them but there really is no time. And even if there was time, I know in my heart it would not be a new beginning, it would simply be closure.
I've had many different friends over the years. It's funny how most friendships seem to not truly end but fade away. I think many of my friendships have faded away. I don't think I regret that though. It happens to all of us. But those people who I have always been friends with, the ones who I didn't grow apart from, and whose friendship with me didn't fade; I will truly miss these friends. I am going to miss Jaimie and Ryan more than anyone. I always felt like I took Jaimie for granted. She has always been there for me and I always felt like I wasn't always there for her when she needed me. I want to tell her that someday. It's funny; I can't truly remember when we met, or how. But I can't remember a time when she wasn't my friend either. It was like we somehow just found eachother. Jaimie and I get along so well because in some ways, we are the same person! We think about life and the people surrounding us in a way that most people don't. I don't think I can explain this to anyone, but I think Jaimie knows what I mean. I will miss her so much.
And Ryan. I feel like we will never have enough time. If only there was more time. A way to stop the clock so we could be together forever.
"I think with all my antics,I have figured out the most powerful drug: Time. You can never have enough time, and if you're not careful it'll definately screw you. Time is definately known for changing people too. It's amazing what time has done to me so far, but then again it's all I've got these days. So whatever you do don't let time get you down, rather treat it with respect like you would a friend. Because once it's gone, it's all you'll want back."