*sigh*
arrggggggggggg. my day was going fine...up until the point when my dad told me that hooker lost the case in court so we couldn't have the new school at the church on whitney avenue. i just don't understand these people. at the moment, i want to walk right over there and give them a piece of my mind, to scream obscenities at them. however, this wont do any good, so why bother? thats basically my problem in life: i can't deal with things i can't change.
then, i had to go to choir, which i am slowly but surely begining to dread every week. maybe it's krishan and his lackluster conducting, or maybe it's tara, her lack of enthusiasm and her drives me crazy monotone voice. maybe it's the pieces themselves, they don't seem to resonate with me, so therefore i pay less attention and make more mistakes. today tara was particularily critical while we were singing that french song (i believe that's what it was anyway), aparently i was going flat on those anoyying notes we hold while the lower part goes down. the only reason i go flat is because i'm on the split and i can't here her or myself for that matter because to my left is lauren who randomly shouts somewhere around the pitch she is supposed to sing.
after choir i learned we were having lentils for dinner, a food i'm not particularily fond of. i had forgotten to give the choir the money for the photo, whoops, so i did that, but im afraid it might get lost. on the way home i got in to an argument with my mother on the subject of sewing (a task that needs to be done soon, as i have not been shopping in ages and will soon run out of suitable clothes). sewing is one of those chores i would love to do if only i had time to do it, and this you see leads me to my next annoyance: lifeguarding. lifeguarding is from 1-9 for the next 3 weekends. one post meridian (or somethign to that effect) to nine post meridian! for THREE weekends! all so i can get a job teaching snotty rich brats the art of sailing for a month. how wonderful. that being said, spending 8,or is it 9 hours a day this weekend, out of 24, at least 8 of which should be spent sleeping, i am not going to have much time to get home work done, or do anything else, let alone sew. on top of all this, my dear mother has yet to do a shopping this week, leaving me with no ceral and no milk, and our whole house hold with very little orange juice. she could have stopped at c- town on her way home, just down the block from her school and picked it up. it would have taken her less than 5 minutes but she couldnt do that because she was too tired. i really can't wait until i go off to college. i want the freedom to make my own decisions, and to live without someone constantly baduring me. i feel like doing something drastic, like picking up an enourmous glass box and dropping it, no, throwing it across the room into a window. hearing the glass break. seeing it shatter and crash to the floor. phew. i do feel much better now, although i do feel these worries are quite trivial. at least i dont have aids or anything. or cancer.
maybe i should just become a hermit, and live on my own in the wilderness. people seem to be fueling my anger. if i didn't read newspapers or see the news or talk to anyone i would be completely isolated from the world. i wouldnt know about the terrible things we do. i would be completely responsible for myself and my actions, and what i needed to do to live. that begs the question, why try to do well in school? what is the point, why even go to college? because there is no way i can't. it's just against my nature not to try, not to feel presure to succed. however, if that pressure didn't exist...
then, i had to go to choir, which i am slowly but surely begining to dread every week. maybe it's krishan and his lackluster conducting, or maybe it's tara, her lack of enthusiasm and her drives me crazy monotone voice. maybe it's the pieces themselves, they don't seem to resonate with me, so therefore i pay less attention and make more mistakes. today tara was particularily critical while we were singing that french song (i believe that's what it was anyway), aparently i was going flat on those anoyying notes we hold while the lower part goes down. the only reason i go flat is because i'm on the split and i can't here her or myself for that matter because to my left is lauren who randomly shouts somewhere around the pitch she is supposed to sing.
after choir i learned we were having lentils for dinner, a food i'm not particularily fond of. i had forgotten to give the choir the money for the photo, whoops, so i did that, but im afraid it might get lost. on the way home i got in to an argument with my mother on the subject of sewing (a task that needs to be done soon, as i have not been shopping in ages and will soon run out of suitable clothes). sewing is one of those chores i would love to do if only i had time to do it, and this you see leads me to my next annoyance: lifeguarding. lifeguarding is from 1-9 for the next 3 weekends. one post meridian (or somethign to that effect) to nine post meridian! for THREE weekends! all so i can get a job teaching snotty rich brats the art of sailing for a month. how wonderful. that being said, spending 8,or is it 9 hours a day this weekend, out of 24, at least 8 of which should be spent sleeping, i am not going to have much time to get home work done, or do anything else, let alone sew. on top of all this, my dear mother has yet to do a shopping this week, leaving me with no ceral and no milk, and our whole house hold with very little orange juice. she could have stopped at c- town on her way home, just down the block from her school and picked it up. it would have taken her less than 5 minutes but she couldnt do that because she was too tired. i really can't wait until i go off to college. i want the freedom to make my own decisions, and to live without someone constantly baduring me. i feel like doing something drastic, like picking up an enourmous glass box and dropping it, no, throwing it across the room into a window. hearing the glass break. seeing it shatter and crash to the floor. phew. i do feel much better now, although i do feel these worries are quite trivial. at least i dont have aids or anything. or cancer.
maybe i should just become a hermit, and live on my own in the wilderness. people seem to be fueling my anger. if i didn't read newspapers or see the news or talk to anyone i would be completely isolated from the world. i wouldnt know about the terrible things we do. i would be completely responsible for myself and my actions, and what i needed to do to live. that begs the question, why try to do well in school? what is the point, why even go to college? because there is no way i can't. it's just against my nature not to try, not to feel presure to succed. however, if that pressure didn't exist...