(no subject)
I can't sleep.
Today was good. I've pretty much learned Zombies and I'm in love with it now and I feel so cool when I play it and sing it. KATIE!
It was nice going to Follow Your Heart with you guys and eating good food and chilling...I missed you guys. Especially Shanti!
My cousin is always in a good mood and she is great. If she weren't here....I would be very bored and unhappy. She makes me want to be a happier person. I want to be a happier person. But I've got to learn to let go of things (!!!) and not take life so seriously (!!!!!!!!). It's just hard for me for some reason.
Like today. Everything was great. Friends/Cousin/Good Food....etc. But when my parents got home for some reason I felt unhappy...bored, tired, sick of everything. I know that I have no reason to feel this way. They didn't do anything to piss me off. I should be happy. I don't have anything to worry about right now. But I'm so used to worrying that....I'll make up something to worry about. Or something to be unhappy about...because....I'm so used to feeling that way. I NEED TO LIGHTEN UP. I'M SICK OF MYSELF.
Tonight..I watched Dateline and it was about these 2 teenagers who murdered their friend (on accident) but then proceeded to burn her body and even worser things that I don't want to say....and I DONT KNOW WHY I WAS WATCHING THIS. Maybe because nothing else was on. Maybe because it was interesting. Maybe because I'm into sick and cruel and violent things. MAybe it's like I'm driving down a street and I slow down when I see police cars crowded around an area just to see what's going on.
I went for a walk today with my cousin. That was good - made me feel good. I also played guitar - made me feel good too. I watched the Office on that one TV website...and that made me feel like I SHOULD tell Evan everything and make a move before it's too late.
....I haven't even talked to him since grad night.
I would have if I saw him online today but he wasn't.
...................................................................................................................................................................sleep?
Today was good. I've pretty much learned Zombies and I'm in love with it now and I feel so cool when I play it and sing it. KATIE!
It was nice going to Follow Your Heart with you guys and eating good food and chilling...I missed you guys. Especially Shanti!
My cousin is always in a good mood and she is great. If she weren't here....I would be very bored and unhappy. She makes me want to be a happier person. I want to be a happier person. But I've got to learn to let go of things (!!!) and not take life so seriously (!!!!!!!!). It's just hard for me for some reason.
Like today. Everything was great. Friends/Cousin/Good Food....etc. But when my parents got home for some reason I felt unhappy...bored, tired, sick of everything. I know that I have no reason to feel this way. They didn't do anything to piss me off. I should be happy. I don't have anything to worry about right now. But I'm so used to worrying that....I'll make up something to worry about. Or something to be unhappy about...because....I'm so used to feeling that way. I NEED TO LIGHTEN UP. I'M SICK OF MYSELF.
Tonight..I watched Dateline and it was about these 2 teenagers who murdered their friend (on accident) but then proceeded to burn her body and even worser things that I don't want to say....and I DONT KNOW WHY I WAS WATCHING THIS. Maybe because nothing else was on. Maybe because it was interesting. Maybe because I'm into sick and cruel and violent things. MAybe it's like I'm driving down a street and I slow down when I see police cars crowded around an area just to see what's going on.
I went for a walk today with my cousin. That was good - made me feel good. I also played guitar - made me feel good too. I watched the Office on that one TV website...and that made me feel like I SHOULD tell Evan everything and make a move before it's too late.
....I haven't even talked to him since grad night.
I would have if I saw him online today but he wasn't.
...................................................................................................................................................................sleep?