(no subject)
I'm sick of Winnipeg. I need to get out of here...It's like.. a death trap or somthing. What if i said that the thing i was afraid of most was staying in this city... would it be stupid? I mean..theres nothing for me here. I have family, yes.. but thats about all thats keeping me here right now. If I had it my way, Id hop the first plane to Florida.. or New York, or somwhere where things happen, and people are noticed. Winnipeg, is...nothing of the sort. Winnipeg is death as far as im concerend. Why do I feel so alone in this city? I don't know the answer, I really don't. Dsakjd. What a stupid, stupid place.
Secondly, Why do friends have to disapear. Things were fine..more then fine when everyone got along, and everyone liked everyone. Now people have turned around and started to be rediculos and back-stabbing to one another. I hate this age. I hate when everyone is all whinney and complains all the time. Like why did all of a sudden this year... why did everyone start having problems? And when somone says ''oh i know how you feel'' that persons problems always have to be more sagnifigant and more horrible then yours. WE're ALL going through the exact same things.We're all going through heart break, confusion, feelings of self-worth and self doubt. Don't tell me how I feel, I KNOW. Don't tell me that I don't feel the same way... How do you know? Don't tell me anything when you havn't been there through all the tears and everything.
Im exausted. I have no idea why, either. I mean it's not that I hvan't been getting enough sleep, because I have...I'm just so sick of everything. I mean...routine. Don't you ever get sick of doing the same thing day after day. I mean...give me somthing worthwhile to do. I can think of..probally a million and one better things to do then sit in a smelly school all day. If I wanted to go into math...I'll take math. If i wanted to write novels for a living.. I'll take english, but what if what I want.. what I NEED even is barley offered at my school. Im beginning to think St Mary's isn't the place for me anymore. Like sure, it helped me get to a certain point in my life... but now.. i want more then anything just to leave my days of the plaid kilt behind me. I hate a place where everyone is the same...and plus, arn't they trying to teach us to be individuals? Well it's kinda hard when we all look exactly the same.. and when we try to ''individualize'' ourselves, they bitch at us for 'not treating the school rules with respect'
*sigh* I had alot of things bugging me today.
Lisa<3