Fun With Crack and Crossovers (Horrible, Hammer, Others; PG-13)
I wanted to roleplay, so me and my ten-year-old brother Conor (note the 'ten'!) started this thing here. I don't think I'm boasting when I say...it's a MASTERPIECE! x3 It's kinda crazy. It's a big fat crossover which so far involves Dr. Horrible and Dr. Who. (It gets bigger and fatter.) It also involves a couple of our own characters which were invented for the Dr. Who 'verse.
Um...don't get your hopes up about good writing or a plot of any sort xDDD This is just for fun, our fun, and Conor said I should post it for people to subject themselves to! So why not!
Title: Fun With Crack and Crossovers, part 1 of ?
Rating: PG-13 -- I don't think there's anything to necessitate a higher rating; slap me if there is.
Summary: Dr. Horrible and Captain Hammer take an unexpected trip through time and space to worlds they never dreamed of, except maybe in like their really freaky dreams.
Fandoms: Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along-Blog, Dr. Who
Notes: Text in black is my writing. Text in blue is Conor's. I control Horrible, the Doctor and Ex-Cheat. Conor controls Hammer and Arianna.
“Say your prayers, Captain Hammer,” said Dr. Horrible as he held the newly-upgraded Death Ray to his nemesis’ heart. “These moments are your final…ones. Final moments.” He blinked and looked confused. “Um. I mean, this is your final moment!” He readjusted his grip on the ray and cocked it slightly, confirming his aim. He seemed a little hesitant, but he was sure he was really going to do it this time.
Well, he was mostly sure. Sort of.
“Crap! I mean wait, I hear something. What is that?” said Captain Hammer. “Hold your fire for a sec, Doctor!”
Dr. Horrible looked around, confused. There was a mechanical, whirring noise, almost like some sort of high-tech engine. Suddenly, a huge wind whipped up around them. Dr. Horrible shielded his face from the gust, lowering his weapon as before them, a large blue box materialised out of thin air.
“What the heck?!” he said as the wind and the engine noise stopped, and the two men found themselves looking at an old-fashioned police box that had just appeared in the middle of the alleyway they’d been standing in.
The door swung open with a highly audible creak, and to Dr. Horrible’s surprise, a man stepped out. He was tall and wiry, with messy, brown hair. He looked Horrible and Hammer up and down with a critical eye. Then a girl came out of the box after him. She was pretty and dark-haired, and looked at least a couple of decades younger than the man she was with.
“I’ll reiterate: what the heck?!” said Dr. Horrible, totally dumbfounded.
“Ah, yes,” said the strange man breezily. “Hello. Sorry about landing right next to you. Can be a bit startling. Where are we?”
“Wh…What?” Dr. Horrible shook his head.
“Sorry!” said the man, as if in sudden realisation. “I’m being rude! I’m the Doctor. This is my friend Arianna. And you are…?” He extended his hand for the shaking.
Dr. Horrible ignored the gesture, seizing the chance for a grand introduction. He put his free hand on his hip, raised his Death Ray, and proclaimed, “I am Dr. Horrible, scourge of the LA streets and arch nemesis to Captain Hammer.” He gestured vaguely in Captain Hammer’s direction.
The man who had introduced himself as the Doctor nodded, pursing his lips. “Riiiight. Pleased to meet you. So we’re in Los Angeles? Good, that’s where I meant to land… Exactly where I meant to land.”
Dr. Horrible looked a bit put out at his miniature monologue being ignored, but couldn’t think of anything to say except, “Can somebody tell me what the heck is going on here?”
“Excuse me, not to be rude, but DO I EXIST?!” growled Captain Hammer angrily.
“Sorry!” said the girl that was apparently called Arianna. “I’ll talk! If it’s easier, call me Aria. I’m in the form of an eighteen year old, but I am actually about 893. And a quarter!”
Hammer looked shocked. His mouth opened and closed like a goldfish. His face turned pale. Aria giggled and turned away to greet Dr. Horrible.
“Yeeeah,” Dr. Horrible said, looking back and forth between everyone. “I am still hearing no explanation here. Who are you people? I mean, beyond names-” he looked pointedly at the Doctor “-or, well, titles. Doctor who, exactly?”
“Just ‘the Doctor’,” the Doctor said helpfully, cocking his head to the side and nodding. “And ‘Horrible’, that’s not really your name, is it?” He started to walk out of the alleyway. Aria followed him; after a moment, Dr. Horrible ran to catch up.
“If you won’t tell me your real name, I won’t tell you mine,” he objected.
“OK,” said the Doctor. “But you don’t have to follow me if you don’t want.”
“Wh-sh-ff-“ Dr. Horrible protested, then gestured madly at the big blue box. “Are you just gonna leave that there?”
“It’s parked,” the Doctor said with a shrug. “Think anyone’ll notice?” he grinned insanely and kept walking. Dr. Horrible adjusted his goggles in confusion.
Captain Hammer sort of forgot about Dr. Horrible being evil and ran to catch up with the two doctors and the girl that flirted with him.
‘What in the name of me being awesome are you doing in LA?” asked Captain Hammer suspiciously as he caught up with Aria.
“Oh, it’s you!” said Aria happily. “Um, well we’re sort of looking for this friend of mine and the Doctor’s. He’s in our species. We are called Time Lords. We have these time machines that take us through time, and space. Our planet is no more because it was destroyed by an evil race of aliens called Daleks. We are good aliens. Unfortunately, after the invasion, our race is few, so luckily, we live for a long time. Anyway, our friend is named Ex-Cheat. The Doctor hopefully knows where he is.”
“Um. Woah. OK,” Dr. Horrible said, blinking fiercely. “Can you um, start from the beginning, please?”
“Not necessary,” the Doctor said sharply. Dr. Horrible noticed he had taken on a rather pained expression during Aria’s story. “That’s enough, Arianna.” Clearly, their past wasn’t something he wanted to talk about. “We’ve been tracking a TARDIS - that’s what you call our time machines - and we think it must be his…”
They had reached a hot dog stand. A young man with blond hair and holding a guitar case was looking at the food with interest. He looked up at the four newcomers. His eyes widened behind his black sunglasses. His mouth opened soundlessly. Then he ran.
“That’s him!” the Doctor yelled, as they set off after him. “Stop him!”
“Hold on!” yelled Captain Hammer as he started to speed off after Ex-Cheat.
A few seconds later, the mysterious time lord was trapped within Captain Hammer’s grip, and was being dragged back to the others.
“Naughty creep,” said Captain Hammer as he placed Ex-Cheat in front of the Doctor.
“Don’t hurt him,” the Doctor warned, looking suspiciously at Captain Hammer. “We’d like him in one piece.”
Ex-Cheat’s sunglasses had fallen off and been smashed under Captain Hammer’s mighty boots a few paces back. He had struggled at first, but now he stood nervously before the Doctor with a guilty look in his eye. “So, y’found me,” he said with a dry chuckle. “What are you gonna do?”
The Doctor stared him down disapprovingly for a few moments. Dr. Horrible raised a black-gloved hand and interjected. “Sorry. Um. What did he do, exactly?”
Ex-Cheat looked over at Dr. Horrible. “Who’s this chump?” he asked disdainfully.
“Chump?” Dr. Horrible repeated in disbelief. “I’ll have you know I’m -”
“Dr. Horrible, sponge of LA, we know all that,” the Doctor cut him off.
“Scourge,” Dr. Horrible corrected in a grumble, but everyone ignored him.
“Is that your TARDIS now?” the Doctor asked, motioning towards the guitar case.
Ex-Cheat grinned without humour and opened it up, revealing a huge, weird room within it. It was incredibly surreal to look at. “Bigger on the inside and everything,” he confirmed.
“Hey, how does that fit in there?” asked Dr. Horrible with wonderment.
“Uh, Time Lord science,” the Doctor said dismissively. “I don’t have the cardboard boxes to demonstrate.”
“But I’d love to have access to that kind of technology!” Dr. Horrible gushed.
“Yeah, and you never will,” said the Doctor pointedly, putting his arm around Ex-Cheat. “Come on, back to my TARDIS. Ari, can you take his away from him? Can’t have him escaping from our midst.”
Ex-Cheat looked thoroughly miserable as he regretfully handed it over.
Ari pulled it out of his grip and whispered, “Hi old friend.”
She flashed him a smile and realised that the TARDIS was very heavy.
“Aaah! Whoa! Okay, sorry,” Aria yelled. “I forgot about time lord technology. No wonder Ex-Cheat was running slowly!” she said, a little embarrassed. He wasn’t running slowly at all, but it was because Captain Hammer was so fast that it fooled her.
Captain Hammer laughed at her playfully.
Aria hit him, and found that it put her in pain. It wasn’t her best whack, but he still should have cared that he got hit. He didn’t seem to notice anything.
Soon they arrived at the TARDIS and Aria walked inside with Captain Hammer, showing him around the huge building that was somehow inside a blue box.
Dr. Horrible looked gleeful as he scanned the room. He got out his iPhone and was hurriedly typing in notes on what he saw.
“No funny business,” the Doctor warned with a smile. Dr. Horrible shrugged innocently. “I’ve got my eye on you,” said the Doctor. He turned to Ex-Cheat. “You too. Don’t think you’ll escape my notice. Either of you. I know everything that goes on in my ship.”
“Look, I do have a guitar in that thing,” Ex-Cheat complained. “Can’t I just go and get it out?”
“No,” said the Doctor. “Not now, anyway, and now without supervision. Aria, can you go put that in the storeroom? In the meantime, we’re off.”
“Off? Where?” Dr. Horrible said, worried.
“Oh, I don’t know. Far away, I expect. Don’t worry, back before tea,” the Doctor assured him with that manic grin of his as he set to work on the controls. “By the way, what’s that thing you’re holding?”
“Oh, this?” Dr. Horrible chuckled nervously; he had almost forgotten the Death Ray. “It’s nothing, just a…nothing.”
“Aria, take him with you, and put that weapon the good doctor’s holding alongside Ex-Cheat’s TARDIS. Like I said, no funny business.” He winked at Arianna.
A while later, Aria returned, chatting with Dr. Horrible.
“So, your real name is Billy?” she asked him as she returned.
“Everything is in the storeroom as you ordered, doctor,” said Aria. “Also, can we go to the 2009 Melbourne International Comedy Festival?”
“I knew you’d say something like that,” Ex-Cheat groaned. “Haven’t you been already? I hate Australia… It’s too hot. And I don’t like it.”
Dr. Horrible had used his quick-change device and was now in full Billy gear. It was much more comfortable, and he didn’t really feel like being a horrible villain right now.
“Sounds fine to me,” the Doctor said, ignoring Ex-Cheat. He started punching commands into the control. “Allons-y! Oh by the way, Billy, I think that outfit suits you much better.” Billy grimaced and shrugged. “Hold on!” yelled the Doctor, as the engine started up. Billy was too startled to react, and when they took off, he hit the floor.
“Um, is the TARDIS supposed to do that?” asked Aria nervously as she heard the TARDIS squeal loudly.
“Aaaall part of the -“ a small lever broke off in the Doctor’s hand. He stared at it with a vaguely concerned sort of expression. “…Process,” he finished, just as the TARDIS seemed to hit some real turbulence and they were all sent falling about the room. The squealing noise broke into a long, screechy howl as the TARDIS rocked violently. Billy was holding onto Captain Hammer’s shoulders and screaming for mercy when they finally landed with a bang and a crash.
Um...don't get your hopes up about good writing or a plot of any sort xDDD This is just for fun, our fun, and Conor said I should post it for people to subject themselves to! So why not!
Title: Fun With Crack and Crossovers, part 1 of ?
Rating: PG-13 -- I don't think there's anything to necessitate a higher rating; slap me if there is.
Summary: Dr. Horrible and Captain Hammer take an unexpected trip through time and space to worlds they never dreamed of, except maybe in like their really freaky dreams.
Fandoms: Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along-Blog, Dr. Who
Notes: Text in black is my writing. Text in blue is Conor's. I control Horrible, the Doctor and Ex-Cheat. Conor controls Hammer and Arianna.
“Say your prayers, Captain Hammer,” said Dr. Horrible as he held the newly-upgraded Death Ray to his nemesis’ heart. “These moments are your final…ones. Final moments.” He blinked and looked confused. “Um. I mean, this is your final moment!” He readjusted his grip on the ray and cocked it slightly, confirming his aim. He seemed a little hesitant, but he was sure he was really going to do it this time.
Well, he was mostly sure. Sort of.
“Crap! I mean wait, I hear something. What is that?” said Captain Hammer. “Hold your fire for a sec, Doctor!”
Dr. Horrible looked around, confused. There was a mechanical, whirring noise, almost like some sort of high-tech engine. Suddenly, a huge wind whipped up around them. Dr. Horrible shielded his face from the gust, lowering his weapon as before them, a large blue box materialised out of thin air.
“What the heck?!” he said as the wind and the engine noise stopped, and the two men found themselves looking at an old-fashioned police box that had just appeared in the middle of the alleyway they’d been standing in.
The door swung open with a highly audible creak, and to Dr. Horrible’s surprise, a man stepped out. He was tall and wiry, with messy, brown hair. He looked Horrible and Hammer up and down with a critical eye. Then a girl came out of the box after him. She was pretty and dark-haired, and looked at least a couple of decades younger than the man she was with.
“I’ll reiterate: what the heck?!” said Dr. Horrible, totally dumbfounded.
“Ah, yes,” said the strange man breezily. “Hello. Sorry about landing right next to you. Can be a bit startling. Where are we?”
“Wh…What?” Dr. Horrible shook his head.
“Sorry!” said the man, as if in sudden realisation. “I’m being rude! I’m the Doctor. This is my friend Arianna. And you are…?” He extended his hand for the shaking.
Dr. Horrible ignored the gesture, seizing the chance for a grand introduction. He put his free hand on his hip, raised his Death Ray, and proclaimed, “I am Dr. Horrible, scourge of the LA streets and arch nemesis to Captain Hammer.” He gestured vaguely in Captain Hammer’s direction.
The man who had introduced himself as the Doctor nodded, pursing his lips. “Riiiight. Pleased to meet you. So we’re in Los Angeles? Good, that’s where I meant to land… Exactly where I meant to land.”
Dr. Horrible looked a bit put out at his miniature monologue being ignored, but couldn’t think of anything to say except, “Can somebody tell me what the heck is going on here?”
“Excuse me, not to be rude, but DO I EXIST?!” growled Captain Hammer angrily.
“Sorry!” said the girl that was apparently called Arianna. “I’ll talk! If it’s easier, call me Aria. I’m in the form of an eighteen year old, but I am actually about 893. And a quarter!”
Hammer looked shocked. His mouth opened and closed like a goldfish. His face turned pale. Aria giggled and turned away to greet Dr. Horrible.
“Yeeeah,” Dr. Horrible said, looking back and forth between everyone. “I am still hearing no explanation here. Who are you people? I mean, beyond names-” he looked pointedly at the Doctor “-or, well, titles. Doctor who, exactly?”
“Just ‘the Doctor’,” the Doctor said helpfully, cocking his head to the side and nodding. “And ‘Horrible’, that’s not really your name, is it?” He started to walk out of the alleyway. Aria followed him; after a moment, Dr. Horrible ran to catch up.
“If you won’t tell me your real name, I won’t tell you mine,” he objected.
“OK,” said the Doctor. “But you don’t have to follow me if you don’t want.”
“Wh-sh-ff-“ Dr. Horrible protested, then gestured madly at the big blue box. “Are you just gonna leave that there?”
“It’s parked,” the Doctor said with a shrug. “Think anyone’ll notice?” he grinned insanely and kept walking. Dr. Horrible adjusted his goggles in confusion.
Captain Hammer sort of forgot about Dr. Horrible being evil and ran to catch up with the two doctors and the girl that flirted with him.
‘What in the name of me being awesome are you doing in LA?” asked Captain Hammer suspiciously as he caught up with Aria.
“Oh, it’s you!” said Aria happily. “Um, well we’re sort of looking for this friend of mine and the Doctor’s. He’s in our species. We are called Time Lords. We have these time machines that take us through time, and space. Our planet is no more because it was destroyed by an evil race of aliens called Daleks. We are good aliens. Unfortunately, after the invasion, our race is few, so luckily, we live for a long time. Anyway, our friend is named Ex-Cheat. The Doctor hopefully knows where he is.”
“Um. Woah. OK,” Dr. Horrible said, blinking fiercely. “Can you um, start from the beginning, please?”
“Not necessary,” the Doctor said sharply. Dr. Horrible noticed he had taken on a rather pained expression during Aria’s story. “That’s enough, Arianna.” Clearly, their past wasn’t something he wanted to talk about. “We’ve been tracking a TARDIS - that’s what you call our time machines - and we think it must be his…”
They had reached a hot dog stand. A young man with blond hair and holding a guitar case was looking at the food with interest. He looked up at the four newcomers. His eyes widened behind his black sunglasses. His mouth opened soundlessly. Then he ran.
“That’s him!” the Doctor yelled, as they set off after him. “Stop him!”
“Hold on!” yelled Captain Hammer as he started to speed off after Ex-Cheat.
A few seconds later, the mysterious time lord was trapped within Captain Hammer’s grip, and was being dragged back to the others.
“Naughty creep,” said Captain Hammer as he placed Ex-Cheat in front of the Doctor.
“Don’t hurt him,” the Doctor warned, looking suspiciously at Captain Hammer. “We’d like him in one piece.”
Ex-Cheat’s sunglasses had fallen off and been smashed under Captain Hammer’s mighty boots a few paces back. He had struggled at first, but now he stood nervously before the Doctor with a guilty look in his eye. “So, y’found me,” he said with a dry chuckle. “What are you gonna do?”
The Doctor stared him down disapprovingly for a few moments. Dr. Horrible raised a black-gloved hand and interjected. “Sorry. Um. What did he do, exactly?”
Ex-Cheat looked over at Dr. Horrible. “Who’s this chump?” he asked disdainfully.
“Chump?” Dr. Horrible repeated in disbelief. “I’ll have you know I’m -”
“Dr. Horrible, sponge of LA, we know all that,” the Doctor cut him off.
“Scourge,” Dr. Horrible corrected in a grumble, but everyone ignored him.
“Is that your TARDIS now?” the Doctor asked, motioning towards the guitar case.
Ex-Cheat grinned without humour and opened it up, revealing a huge, weird room within it. It was incredibly surreal to look at. “Bigger on the inside and everything,” he confirmed.
“Hey, how does that fit in there?” asked Dr. Horrible with wonderment.
“Uh, Time Lord science,” the Doctor said dismissively. “I don’t have the cardboard boxes to demonstrate.”
“But I’d love to have access to that kind of technology!” Dr. Horrible gushed.
“Yeah, and you never will,” said the Doctor pointedly, putting his arm around Ex-Cheat. “Come on, back to my TARDIS. Ari, can you take his away from him? Can’t have him escaping from our midst.”
Ex-Cheat looked thoroughly miserable as he regretfully handed it over.
Ari pulled it out of his grip and whispered, “Hi old friend.”
She flashed him a smile and realised that the TARDIS was very heavy.
“Aaah! Whoa! Okay, sorry,” Aria yelled. “I forgot about time lord technology. No wonder Ex-Cheat was running slowly!” she said, a little embarrassed. He wasn’t running slowly at all, but it was because Captain Hammer was so fast that it fooled her.
Captain Hammer laughed at her playfully.
Aria hit him, and found that it put her in pain. It wasn’t her best whack, but he still should have cared that he got hit. He didn’t seem to notice anything.
Soon they arrived at the TARDIS and Aria walked inside with Captain Hammer, showing him around the huge building that was somehow inside a blue box.
Dr. Horrible looked gleeful as he scanned the room. He got out his iPhone and was hurriedly typing in notes on what he saw.
“No funny business,” the Doctor warned with a smile. Dr. Horrible shrugged innocently. “I’ve got my eye on you,” said the Doctor. He turned to Ex-Cheat. “You too. Don’t think you’ll escape my notice. Either of you. I know everything that goes on in my ship.”
“Look, I do have a guitar in that thing,” Ex-Cheat complained. “Can’t I just go and get it out?”
“No,” said the Doctor. “Not now, anyway, and now without supervision. Aria, can you go put that in the storeroom? In the meantime, we’re off.”
“Off? Where?” Dr. Horrible said, worried.
“Oh, I don’t know. Far away, I expect. Don’t worry, back before tea,” the Doctor assured him with that manic grin of his as he set to work on the controls. “By the way, what’s that thing you’re holding?”
“Oh, this?” Dr. Horrible chuckled nervously; he had almost forgotten the Death Ray. “It’s nothing, just a…nothing.”
“Aria, take him with you, and put that weapon the good doctor’s holding alongside Ex-Cheat’s TARDIS. Like I said, no funny business.” He winked at Arianna.
A while later, Aria returned, chatting with Dr. Horrible.
“So, your real name is Billy?” she asked him as she returned.
“Everything is in the storeroom as you ordered, doctor,” said Aria. “Also, can we go to the 2009 Melbourne International Comedy Festival?”
“I knew you’d say something like that,” Ex-Cheat groaned. “Haven’t you been already? I hate Australia… It’s too hot. And I don’t like it.”
Dr. Horrible had used his quick-change device and was now in full Billy gear. It was much more comfortable, and he didn’t really feel like being a horrible villain right now.
“Sounds fine to me,” the Doctor said, ignoring Ex-Cheat. He started punching commands into the control. “Allons-y! Oh by the way, Billy, I think that outfit suits you much better.” Billy grimaced and shrugged. “Hold on!” yelled the Doctor, as the engine started up. Billy was too startled to react, and when they took off, he hit the floor.
“Um, is the TARDIS supposed to do that?” asked Aria nervously as she heard the TARDIS squeal loudly.
“Aaaall part of the -“ a small lever broke off in the Doctor’s hand. He stared at it with a vaguely concerned sort of expression. “…Process,” he finished, just as the TARDIS seemed to hit some real turbulence and they were all sent falling about the room. The squealing noise broke into a long, screechy howl as the TARDIS rocked violently. Billy was holding onto Captain Hammer’s shoulders and screaming for mercy when they finally landed with a bang and a crash.