ramble, ramble, whine, book review.
So. LIfe.
At dillard's. Drama. The work itself is, as always, perfectly fine, but the other people... meh.
Leaving for colorado soon.... as in tomorrow. For a week. I get back the 9th, turn 21 the 10th.
Which reminds me. I would kind of like to actually go out on my birthday, just as a rite-of-passage thing. But, chris doesn't turn 21 till the 12th. so... who wants to go with me?
I've seriously been considering trying to get ahold of katie j, whit, susan, and... *shrug* any of the other girls that are 21 (i don't think there are any, though).... i would like to go out with them on my birhtdya. I really miss them.
Which, in turn, reminds me that i've been a dick to katie j! She'd called, i meant to call her back, and it just slipped my mind! and that was like... 2 weeks ago! total dick! Sorry katie! i really didn't mean to! I've just been in such a pattern (i hesitate to call it a rut, as i'm not miserable) that the days turn into weeks turn into months before I notice.
Socially, though, I am getting thrown out of my pattern. Zach's been busy with lots of other people, and seems, in general, to be interested more in "people that are cooler than gwyn and chris." This is not meant to be a self-pitying thing. I've been reminded, lately, that i really am not cool. I'm just awkward and amusing, which can sometimes pass.
At work, for example, i'll do or say something i think is fucking hilarious. For example... oh, i'm drawing a blank now. But make some dumb word joke, perhaps. And I laugh at it, because it's something that amuses me. The other girls look blankly at me, clearly thinking "what a dork."
not that I object to being a dork. I accept that i'm an odd duck.
But back to my point: Zach's been distant. Some days it bothers chris a lot, some days it bothers me a lot. I guess... he's drifted in and out of my life so many times over the years, that I kinda assume that he'll drift back eventually.
If i were to feel irked about one part of my social standing, or lack thereof, it would be that ... I don't feel like anyone really respects me. At home, it's just chris, who does, probably, respect me, but... he's my boyfriend. He doesn't really count. Zach, and the other random people that seem to drift through, do not particularly seem to respect me. They're cooler than I am and know it. At work, though, is where it's really irksome.
The thing is, I do a lot at work. What's that? you want the entire dress department re-arrainged? Yeah, I can do that. Hm? Come in 2 hours early to help with markdowns? of course. Re-do the denim displays? i guess.
I'm the little red fucking hen. And I get nothing for it, beyond the gratitude of my manager, which, while it has it's perks, is not quite enough compensation. It would be nice if my co-workers aknowledged how much i do. But no. NO love for gwyn.
(pity pity)
But on a bright note in that tune, over the past several days, i've had the following conversation with no less than 3 random people who work in the departments around mine (under the same manager):
Them: So, I hear you're going to take a bit of a vacation!
me: yes! i can't wait! i leave thursday!
them: how long with you be gone?
me: oh, about a week.
them: *look shocked* what will junior's DO?
So it's nice to see someone appreciates me.
It's a pity this entry has come off as so "wah wah wah whine whine whine" because, really, I"m fairly content. I guess LJ just brings out the angst in me.
I read a great book recently. Katie J, I reccomend it to any and all girls who are in the house, now and forever after.
It's called "a lady, first" and it's by letitia baldridge. She's... an awesome person who's been in the background of history for the past 50 years. The book is her memoirs.
Synopsis of her life:
1930something: grows up in omaha. Father is a congressman, i think.
1940s (WW2) - At vassar college. Ok, not much interesting yet.
1946 - graduates.
i lose track of dates here, but to continue:
Grad school in switzerland, among the first handful of americans let into europe (probably, for the record, with my dad and his parents).
First job? the social secreratary for the American Ambassador in Paris (at the time the most important embassy)
2nd job - CIA, cold war!
3rd job - social secratary to the american ambassador in Rome. Lots of people on vespas riding around going "ciao!"
later jobs:
PR for tiffany's jewlery
social secretary for Jackie Kennedy (including planning JFK's funeral)
after that, she went into her own PR business, and had some really important clients.
But the cool thing is, she's pretty progressive, in that she opened and ran her own business in the 60s, when women just didn't do that... she was the first female executive at tiffany's, and the first female on many important boards.
She decided what she want, and did whatever it took to make that happen. But through it all, she had poise, grace, and manners. She was, indeed, a lady.
So, to sum up:
It's a book about a facinating woman, and a good lesson in how to achieve your goals and be classy about it.
anyway, i'm hungry, so this entry is over.
Sorry for the rambling!
At dillard's. Drama. The work itself is, as always, perfectly fine, but the other people... meh.
Leaving for colorado soon.... as in tomorrow. For a week. I get back the 9th, turn 21 the 10th.
Which reminds me. I would kind of like to actually go out on my birthday, just as a rite-of-passage thing. But, chris doesn't turn 21 till the 12th. so... who wants to go with me?
I've seriously been considering trying to get ahold of katie j, whit, susan, and... *shrug* any of the other girls that are 21 (i don't think there are any, though).... i would like to go out with them on my birhtdya. I really miss them.
Which, in turn, reminds me that i've been a dick to katie j! She'd called, i meant to call her back, and it just slipped my mind! and that was like... 2 weeks ago! total dick! Sorry katie! i really didn't mean to! I've just been in such a pattern (i hesitate to call it a rut, as i'm not miserable) that the days turn into weeks turn into months before I notice.
Socially, though, I am getting thrown out of my pattern. Zach's been busy with lots of other people, and seems, in general, to be interested more in "people that are cooler than gwyn and chris." This is not meant to be a self-pitying thing. I've been reminded, lately, that i really am not cool. I'm just awkward and amusing, which can sometimes pass.
At work, for example, i'll do or say something i think is fucking hilarious. For example... oh, i'm drawing a blank now. But make some dumb word joke, perhaps. And I laugh at it, because it's something that amuses me. The other girls look blankly at me, clearly thinking "what a dork."
not that I object to being a dork. I accept that i'm an odd duck.
But back to my point: Zach's been distant. Some days it bothers chris a lot, some days it bothers me a lot. I guess... he's drifted in and out of my life so many times over the years, that I kinda assume that he'll drift back eventually.
If i were to feel irked about one part of my social standing, or lack thereof, it would be that ... I don't feel like anyone really respects me. At home, it's just chris, who does, probably, respect me, but... he's my boyfriend. He doesn't really count. Zach, and the other random people that seem to drift through, do not particularly seem to respect me. They're cooler than I am and know it. At work, though, is where it's really irksome.
The thing is, I do a lot at work. What's that? you want the entire dress department re-arrainged? Yeah, I can do that. Hm? Come in 2 hours early to help with markdowns? of course. Re-do the denim displays? i guess.
I'm the little red fucking hen. And I get nothing for it, beyond the gratitude of my manager, which, while it has it's perks, is not quite enough compensation. It would be nice if my co-workers aknowledged how much i do. But no. NO love for gwyn.
(pity pity)
But on a bright note in that tune, over the past several days, i've had the following conversation with no less than 3 random people who work in the departments around mine (under the same manager):
Them: So, I hear you're going to take a bit of a vacation!
me: yes! i can't wait! i leave thursday!
them: how long with you be gone?
me: oh, about a week.
them: *look shocked* what will junior's DO?
So it's nice to see someone appreciates me.
It's a pity this entry has come off as so "wah wah wah whine whine whine" because, really, I"m fairly content. I guess LJ just brings out the angst in me.
I read a great book recently. Katie J, I reccomend it to any and all girls who are in the house, now and forever after.
It's called "a lady, first" and it's by letitia baldridge. She's... an awesome person who's been in the background of history for the past 50 years. The book is her memoirs.
Synopsis of her life:
1930something: grows up in omaha. Father is a congressman, i think.
1940s (WW2) - At vassar college. Ok, not much interesting yet.
1946 - graduates.
i lose track of dates here, but to continue:
Grad school in switzerland, among the first handful of americans let into europe (probably, for the record, with my dad and his parents).
First job? the social secreratary for the American Ambassador in Paris (at the time the most important embassy)
2nd job - CIA, cold war!
3rd job - social secratary to the american ambassador in Rome. Lots of people on vespas riding around going "ciao!"
later jobs:
PR for tiffany's jewlery
social secretary for Jackie Kennedy (including planning JFK's funeral)
after that, she went into her own PR business, and had some really important clients.
But the cool thing is, she's pretty progressive, in that she opened and ran her own business in the 60s, when women just didn't do that... she was the first female executive at tiffany's, and the first female on many important boards.
She decided what she want, and did whatever it took to make that happen. But through it all, she had poise, grace, and manners. She was, indeed, a lady.
So, to sum up:
It's a book about a facinating woman, and a good lesson in how to achieve your goals and be classy about it.
anyway, i'm hungry, so this entry is over.
Sorry for the rambling!