Remix for Nodbear: Play On
Name of fic: Play On
Author's name: esmerelda_t
Name (and link) of fic being remixed: The Food of Love
Name of author being remixed: nodbear
Rating and type of fic: Horatio/Archie, G.
Usual disclaimer: This would be a great time to rip of my mask and reveal I've been C.S Forester all along. I'm not though.
It would be unseemly for the first words out of Horatio’s mouth upom climbing onto the deck from the jolly boat to be “Where’s Archie?” It does not stop his gaze searching the faces of those who are assembled to meet him. Archie is not to be found among them and Horatio attempts to dampen the flicker of disappointment. Archie, he must remember, has his own duties and Horatio cannot expect him to neglect them.
Mr. Bracegirdle steps forward to warmly grasp Horatio’s hand, forcing Horatio’s attention away from the beaming crowd, “Another triumph! Well done, Mr. Hornblower!”
Horatio nods and returns the smile that is being bestowed on him, even though he would give all his triumphs for it be gifted by another.
~
He is in the wardroom, having been told by the Captain to take his leisure for the rest of the day, when he at last sees Archie. After the briefest of brushes of lips, discretion on board being paramount, Horatio tries to keep his tone innocent when he asks, “Where were you this afternoon? Has your watch changed?”
Archie shakes his head as he pulls off his boots, “Oh no, I was with Joseph.”
The words are like a stiletto has been pushed through Horatio’s heart and mind, he struggles to push the red mist from his thoughts, the urge to grab Archie by the shoulders and to remind him he belongs to him. He replies with as much neutrality as he can muster, “Oh. The violinist?” Horatio knows perfectly well it is the violinist.
Archie looks up from where he is inspecting a tear in his stocking. “Yes. I spoke to the Captain and he has agreed to allow Joseph to practice in his cabin. I am required to accompany him, but it is no chore of course.”
“Of course.” Horatio’s reply is dull and he sees Archie’s expression change at the words, to become narrowed and pursed, “Don’t start his again, Horatio.”
They have spoken about Joseph before. Ever since he was assigned to Archie’s division Archie had taken an interest in him that bordered on the obsessive. Horatio had met Archie’s accusation that he did no more for Joseph than Horatio would do for any of his men with silence. It was not the same. Horatio did not stand with any of his men on deck laughing as if they were intimates and he certainly did not spend time alone with them in the only luxury the ship had to offer.
“You have no sense of propriety, Archie.” The words escape before Horatio can consider them, but it does not make them any less true. Archie snorts in reply.
“I do not recall you complaining about my lack of propriety when I’m in your bed, Horatio.”
Archie stands to leave at that, but on reaching the doorway stops, having clearly thought of a parting statement to wound Horatio with, “Joseph and I…we both know what it is like to be alone in the dark and what it is like to cling to the one flicker of light we find. That you find sordidness in that shames you, not us.”
Horatio knows that Archie is speaking of Simpson, and El Ferrol and all that occurred between those two points in his life. He feels a knot of anger in his gut as he remembers the Don’s dungeon, “I understand, Archie.”
Archie shakes his head, “You think it compares? A few days that were the result of your own pride and folly? Your need to martyr yourself for Hunter’s idiocy? No, Horatio, you think you understand, but you do not.”
Archie exits before Horatio can think of any reply.
~
They do not speak for four days. Every time Horatio hears the strains of Emede’s violin playing it is like a taunt for he knows Archie is with him and not where he should be; by Horatio’s side. It is clear to all that he and Archie are estranged, but Horatio has so far ignored the gentle attempts by Mr. Bracegirdle to act as a mediator.
He is bearing witness to the twilight watch when a familiar voice states behind him. “I do not know sometimes which one of us is the bigger fool, Horatio, you or I.” He is tempted to ignore the voice, to keep his eyes on the horizon, but it is only a moment before he turns to face Archie. Archie’s voice is soft when he continues, “There is no need to be jealous of Joseph, we are friends, that is all. Am I not allowed to have friends?”
Horatio wants to say no, you are not but he knows how ridiculous that would sound. Instead he says what he has been thinking for the past four days, blurts it out before the words can become confused in his mind and thus transferred to his tongue, “You are my light in the darkness…you know, as you said…”
Archie smiles, but even in the poor light Horatio can see it does not quite reach his eyes, “As you are mine, what did you think I was referring to?”
Horatio shrugs at that and Archie laughs, his smile becoming genuine before his expression sobers again, “I’m sorry, Horatio, for what I said, it was cruel and unnecessary. It is just that sometimes…I grow frustrated.”
Horatio notes that Archie does not say it was untrue, the part of his mind that contains his pride bristles at that but he ignores it, along with the with you that was not uttered at the end of Archie’s sentence. “I am sorry too, Archie. You are right, I should not be jealous of Eme...of Joseph, he seems a very fine young man, a gentleman. He is very lucky to have a friend in you.”
Archie’s tone is suddenly harsh in reply, “It should not require luck to be treated with common decency. Do you never think on it, Horatio? How are we any different from the men who first took Joseph from his family and home? The press, surely it is…”
Horatio feels only relief that Archie does not finish the sentence. Horatio can never give him the answer he wants to hear, he can offer no absolution or condemnation. The world is what it is and the press will remain the way of the Navy regardless of what Horatio or Archie thinks.
Archie shakes his head, attempting to dispel the dark thoughts as if they could be cleared like straw from a blanket; with a good shake. “Why do you not come with me next time Joseph practices and you are at leisure?”
Horatio can in truth think of nothing more tedious but the look on Archie’s face when Horatio consents will make the tedium easy to bear.
Author's name: esmerelda_t
Name (and link) of fic being remixed: The Food of Love
Name of author being remixed: nodbear
Rating and type of fic: Horatio/Archie, G.
Usual disclaimer: This would be a great time to rip of my mask and reveal I've been C.S Forester all along. I'm not though.
It would be unseemly for the first words out of Horatio’s mouth upom climbing onto the deck from the jolly boat to be “Where’s Archie?” It does not stop his gaze searching the faces of those who are assembled to meet him. Archie is not to be found among them and Horatio attempts to dampen the flicker of disappointment. Archie, he must remember, has his own duties and Horatio cannot expect him to neglect them.
Mr. Bracegirdle steps forward to warmly grasp Horatio’s hand, forcing Horatio’s attention away from the beaming crowd, “Another triumph! Well done, Mr. Hornblower!”
Horatio nods and returns the smile that is being bestowed on him, even though he would give all his triumphs for it be gifted by another.
~
He is in the wardroom, having been told by the Captain to take his leisure for the rest of the day, when he at last sees Archie. After the briefest of brushes of lips, discretion on board being paramount, Horatio tries to keep his tone innocent when he asks, “Where were you this afternoon? Has your watch changed?”
Archie shakes his head as he pulls off his boots, “Oh no, I was with Joseph.”
The words are like a stiletto has been pushed through Horatio’s heart and mind, he struggles to push the red mist from his thoughts, the urge to grab Archie by the shoulders and to remind him he belongs to him. He replies with as much neutrality as he can muster, “Oh. The violinist?” Horatio knows perfectly well it is the violinist.
Archie looks up from where he is inspecting a tear in his stocking. “Yes. I spoke to the Captain and he has agreed to allow Joseph to practice in his cabin. I am required to accompany him, but it is no chore of course.”
“Of course.” Horatio’s reply is dull and he sees Archie’s expression change at the words, to become narrowed and pursed, “Don’t start his again, Horatio.”
They have spoken about Joseph before. Ever since he was assigned to Archie’s division Archie had taken an interest in him that bordered on the obsessive. Horatio had met Archie’s accusation that he did no more for Joseph than Horatio would do for any of his men with silence. It was not the same. Horatio did not stand with any of his men on deck laughing as if they were intimates and he certainly did not spend time alone with them in the only luxury the ship had to offer.
“You have no sense of propriety, Archie.” The words escape before Horatio can consider them, but it does not make them any less true. Archie snorts in reply.
“I do not recall you complaining about my lack of propriety when I’m in your bed, Horatio.”
Archie stands to leave at that, but on reaching the doorway stops, having clearly thought of a parting statement to wound Horatio with, “Joseph and I…we both know what it is like to be alone in the dark and what it is like to cling to the one flicker of light we find. That you find sordidness in that shames you, not us.”
Horatio knows that Archie is speaking of Simpson, and El Ferrol and all that occurred between those two points in his life. He feels a knot of anger in his gut as he remembers the Don’s dungeon, “I understand, Archie.”
Archie shakes his head, “You think it compares? A few days that were the result of your own pride and folly? Your need to martyr yourself for Hunter’s idiocy? No, Horatio, you think you understand, but you do not.”
Archie exits before Horatio can think of any reply.
~
They do not speak for four days. Every time Horatio hears the strains of Emede’s violin playing it is like a taunt for he knows Archie is with him and not where he should be; by Horatio’s side. It is clear to all that he and Archie are estranged, but Horatio has so far ignored the gentle attempts by Mr. Bracegirdle to act as a mediator.
He is bearing witness to the twilight watch when a familiar voice states behind him. “I do not know sometimes which one of us is the bigger fool, Horatio, you or I.” He is tempted to ignore the voice, to keep his eyes on the horizon, but it is only a moment before he turns to face Archie. Archie’s voice is soft when he continues, “There is no need to be jealous of Joseph, we are friends, that is all. Am I not allowed to have friends?”
Horatio wants to say no, you are not but he knows how ridiculous that would sound. Instead he says what he has been thinking for the past four days, blurts it out before the words can become confused in his mind and thus transferred to his tongue, “You are my light in the darkness…you know, as you said…”
Archie smiles, but even in the poor light Horatio can see it does not quite reach his eyes, “As you are mine, what did you think I was referring to?”
Horatio shrugs at that and Archie laughs, his smile becoming genuine before his expression sobers again, “I’m sorry, Horatio, for what I said, it was cruel and unnecessary. It is just that sometimes…I grow frustrated.”
Horatio notes that Archie does not say it was untrue, the part of his mind that contains his pride bristles at that but he ignores it, along with the with you that was not uttered at the end of Archie’s sentence. “I am sorry too, Archie. You are right, I should not be jealous of Eme...of Joseph, he seems a very fine young man, a gentleman. He is very lucky to have a friend in you.”
Archie’s tone is suddenly harsh in reply, “It should not require luck to be treated with common decency. Do you never think on it, Horatio? How are we any different from the men who first took Joseph from his family and home? The press, surely it is…”
Horatio feels only relief that Archie does not finish the sentence. Horatio can never give him the answer he wants to hear, he can offer no absolution or condemnation. The world is what it is and the press will remain the way of the Navy regardless of what Horatio or Archie thinks.
Archie shakes his head, attempting to dispel the dark thoughts as if they could be cleared like straw from a blanket; with a good shake. “Why do you not come with me next time Joseph practices and you are at leisure?”
Horatio can in truth think of nothing more tedious but the look on Archie’s face when Horatio consents will make the tedium easy to bear.