Rabbit Hole Day
"We are the wisest and finest minds!" the first skunk intoned. Intoned, I might add, with a glop of muck dripping down his face.
"But I am wisest of all," the second barked out, "You must all agree with me and be wise!"
"You are not wisest, I am wisest, and if you would only understand that, you would truly be worthy of your presence here! I do not know why Fox tolerates your false intelligence!" the third shrilled, flinging more muck.
"Ah. They seem to be ..." I didn't want to say 'not intelligent at all', but that was rude. So I said "Busy."
"Nonsense, this is what they do," Fox assured me, obviously very proud of these squabbling skunks, "We call them Dexter, Sinister, and Bend."
"That's Heraldy, isn't it?"
"Of course not, I am Fox," Fox insisted, "Dexter, Sinister, Bend, do tell the lady where she might become her proper size once more."
"Obviously, by listening to what I have to say," Dexter called, drawing himself up to his full skunkly height, "And I say she must defend the mechanical inferences of worldly powers and always stand for what is right!"
That didn't seem helpful for my case. I looked to Sinister, who was picking wet grass from his tail.
"You must follow my words, because you are a fool if you do not! I am wise, you are not, but by following me, you will become wise," Sinister informed me testily, "Now you must count the amount of animals properly at their affairs and when you have done that, you must know that there are none properly at their affairs!"
Counting I could do, but I wasn't certain what Sinister was getting at. I turned to Bend, who pitched more mud at Dexter. Dirty pool, for Dexter was beginning to argue with Sinister, and had his mouth open.
"Silly woman, you simply cannot fathom the methods of the enlightened mind," Bend scoffed, "You snuggle up to Rooster and think everything he says is good when he's nothing more than a Plymouth Rock!"
"Actually, he looked like a very nice Jersey Giant to me," but I like chickens and know their breeds.
"That's what you think! Foolish woman! You can only go back to your proper self by forgetting all that and behaving as a proper person!"
"That's hardly helpful and rather insulting," I let her know. They all stopped in their fight, staring at me in shock.
"None of you are of any help at all, all you're saying is for me to listen to you, and when I do, there's nothing there at all. A lot of hot..." Hot stinky air, I realized, because they all turned on me with tails held high!
"Run," Fox advised, and took his own advice. I wasn't nearly so fast as a fox, but I certainly did run, far and fast.
"But I am wisest of all," the second barked out, "You must all agree with me and be wise!"
"You are not wisest, I am wisest, and if you would only understand that, you would truly be worthy of your presence here! I do not know why Fox tolerates your false intelligence!" the third shrilled, flinging more muck.
"Ah. They seem to be ..." I didn't want to say 'not intelligent at all', but that was rude. So I said "Busy."
"Nonsense, this is what they do," Fox assured me, obviously very proud of these squabbling skunks, "We call them Dexter, Sinister, and Bend."
"That's Heraldy, isn't it?"
"Of course not, I am Fox," Fox insisted, "Dexter, Sinister, Bend, do tell the lady where she might become her proper size once more."
"Obviously, by listening to what I have to say," Dexter called, drawing himself up to his full skunkly height, "And I say she must defend the mechanical inferences of worldly powers and always stand for what is right!"
That didn't seem helpful for my case. I looked to Sinister, who was picking wet grass from his tail.
"You must follow my words, because you are a fool if you do not! I am wise, you are not, but by following me, you will become wise," Sinister informed me testily, "Now you must count the amount of animals properly at their affairs and when you have done that, you must know that there are none properly at their affairs!"
Counting I could do, but I wasn't certain what Sinister was getting at. I turned to Bend, who pitched more mud at Dexter. Dirty pool, for Dexter was beginning to argue with Sinister, and had his mouth open.
"Silly woman, you simply cannot fathom the methods of the enlightened mind," Bend scoffed, "You snuggle up to Rooster and think everything he says is good when he's nothing more than a Plymouth Rock!"
"Actually, he looked like a very nice Jersey Giant to me," but I like chickens and know their breeds.
"That's what you think! Foolish woman! You can only go back to your proper self by forgetting all that and behaving as a proper person!"
"That's hardly helpful and rather insulting," I let her know. They all stopped in their fight, staring at me in shock.
"None of you are of any help at all, all you're saying is for me to listen to you, and when I do, there's nothing there at all. A lot of hot..." Hot stinky air, I realized, because they all turned on me with tails held high!
"Run," Fox advised, and took his own advice. I wasn't nearly so fast as a fox, but I certainly did run, far and fast.