sleeping with the fishies
Today was one of the worst days i've had at this shitty ass job.
i went for a swim with the sharks. Big, Mechanical, fucking sharks. Ok, so i fell into the jaws lagoon. the sharks were the least of my problems. Hell, they were even out of the water at the time. so, mechanical sharks are smarter than me. nice.
How did this happen? well, i was lamp checking the Boat House at Jaws (quint's boart storage/sharky torture chamber on the ride. i never understood how the ride is set 25 years after the movie, but for some reason, Capt Quints boat house is still in use but shark killers with a vengence) when i slipped on the Evacuation platform. i'm going to let that one sink in for our slower readers. i SLIPPED on the EVACUATION PLATFORM and FELL into WATER. there is a narrow (2.5ft across maybe) boardwalk that steps UP into the wider board walk inside the boathouse so guests can get off the ride. the wood is old and soaked with algae and oil, plus the grip tape has all worn away. i slipped on the edge while walking on the upper boardwalk, causing me to step down onto the lower boardwalk. the sudden change in height caused me to lose my balance and fall into the oily nasty water while emmiting a hearty "FUCK!". the whole thing happened so fast, at first my mind was unaware that i was completely underwater. my Body knew better and some survival instinct kicked in, thrusting myself to the surface. this even caught my co-worker by surprise, as he was such a state of shock he didn't help me out of the water at first. i struggled to get out, weighed down by layers of flame retarded 'safety clothing' and began ripping off anything electrical,(Phone, pump, Zune, and radio) and tore off their batteries.
As for the damage? Well, i was fully in uniform, so that was soaked. thankfully i had a spare jumpsuit in my locker, and a change of shoes in the truck, so it could have been worse. OH WAIT! it was. joy. My Zune is toast. period. Do not pass GO!, do NOT collect $200. and the internet must have caught on cause at the end of my shift, i skimmed through eBAy quickly to get an idea of current zune prices. It was looking like 80 - 90ish for one around the end of auctions. Feeling much better, i drive home, hop on ebay wallet in hand, and discover i cant get one for less that 130. and thats a sketchy deal at best. Plus, my phone is on teh fritz. i can turn in on, but not for long. Its chilling w/ target right now. maybe get dried out a bit more. I have a spare phone, just in case. but i don't have any numbers, and i don't wanna lose my pictures. we'll see. my insulin pump was ok; its waterproof (duh). and my work radio actually make a comeback, so no write up for me. whew.
Speaking of fire RETARDED: we got like a thousand dollars worth of safety gear at work. Stuff so bulky and unnecessary, it will never be used. First a Klein 1000v insulated tool kit (retail price: 450). nothing at universal goes above 480v, and i wouldn't get near that with a pointy object for anything. also, we got a bright orange hard hat COMPLETE with Blast resistant face shield (rated for structure fire fighting protection!), fire Resistant (read:HOT) face protector (which i actually like cause its a ninja mask!) and dual layer FUCKING LINEMAN GLOVES! heavy leather with thick rubber glove inserts. think mad scientist. complete with carrying bag so we can always have them with us. now for the fun part. WE HAVE TO WEAR THESE WHEN WORKING ON ANYTHING OVER 12VOLTS. FUCKING VOLTS! this would be really funny if it wasn't so sadly true. This is a caricature of safety procedure. wearing all this shit, I look like I'm on the bomb squad. Gary and i showed up an my supervisors office all dressed up while holding a light bulb to point out its stupidity. We couldn't grasp the lamp. lol. well, at least my job just got easier: i can't change lights if i cant hold 'em.
In the words of Dane Cook: "FUCK! i cannot WAIT to quit this job!"
-Darwin-
i went for a swim with the sharks. Big, Mechanical, fucking sharks. Ok, so i fell into the jaws lagoon. the sharks were the least of my problems. Hell, they were even out of the water at the time. so, mechanical sharks are smarter than me. nice.
How did this happen? well, i was lamp checking the Boat House at Jaws (quint's boart storage/sharky torture chamber on the ride. i never understood how the ride is set 25 years after the movie, but for some reason, Capt Quints boat house is still in use but shark killers with a vengence) when i slipped on the Evacuation platform. i'm going to let that one sink in for our slower readers. i SLIPPED on the EVACUATION PLATFORM and FELL into WATER. there is a narrow (2.5ft across maybe) boardwalk that steps UP into the wider board walk inside the boathouse so guests can get off the ride. the wood is old and soaked with algae and oil, plus the grip tape has all worn away. i slipped on the edge while walking on the upper boardwalk, causing me to step down onto the lower boardwalk. the sudden change in height caused me to lose my balance and fall into the oily nasty water while emmiting a hearty "FUCK!". the whole thing happened so fast, at first my mind was unaware that i was completely underwater. my Body knew better and some survival instinct kicked in, thrusting myself to the surface. this even caught my co-worker by surprise, as he was such a state of shock he didn't help me out of the water at first. i struggled to get out, weighed down by layers of flame retarded 'safety clothing' and began ripping off anything electrical,(Phone, pump, Zune, and radio) and tore off their batteries.
As for the damage? Well, i was fully in uniform, so that was soaked. thankfully i had a spare jumpsuit in my locker, and a change of shoes in the truck, so it could have been worse. OH WAIT! it was. joy. My Zune is toast. period. Do not pass GO!, do NOT collect $200. and the internet must have caught on cause at the end of my shift, i skimmed through eBAy quickly to get an idea of current zune prices. It was looking like 80 - 90ish for one around the end of auctions. Feeling much better, i drive home, hop on ebay wallet in hand, and discover i cant get one for less that 130. and thats a sketchy deal at best. Plus, my phone is on teh fritz. i can turn in on, but not for long. Its chilling w/ target right now. maybe get dried out a bit more. I have a spare phone, just in case. but i don't have any numbers, and i don't wanna lose my pictures. we'll see. my insulin pump was ok; its waterproof (duh). and my work radio actually make a comeback, so no write up for me. whew.
Speaking of fire RETARDED: we got like a thousand dollars worth of safety gear at work. Stuff so bulky and unnecessary, it will never be used. First a Klein 1000v insulated tool kit (retail price: 450). nothing at universal goes above 480v, and i wouldn't get near that with a pointy object for anything. also, we got a bright orange hard hat COMPLETE with Blast resistant face shield (rated for structure fire fighting protection!), fire Resistant (read:HOT) face protector (which i actually like cause its a ninja mask!) and dual layer FUCKING LINEMAN GLOVES! heavy leather with thick rubber glove inserts. think mad scientist. complete with carrying bag so we can always have them with us. now for the fun part. WE HAVE TO WEAR THESE WHEN WORKING ON ANYTHING OVER 12VOLTS. FUCKING VOLTS! this would be really funny if it wasn't so sadly true. This is a caricature of safety procedure. wearing all this shit, I look like I'm on the bomb squad. Gary and i showed up an my supervisors office all dressed up while holding a light bulb to point out its stupidity. We couldn't grasp the lamp. lol. well, at least my job just got easier: i can't change lights if i cant hold 'em.
In the words of Dane Cook: "FUCK! i cannot WAIT to quit this job!"
-Darwin-