(no subject)
I know I only use this LJ to vent when I feel like I'm at my lowest lows, but now I really need help.
My best friend in the whole world/"significant other" is so depressed he doesn't care about anything or anyone, including me. He says everyone is just out to stab everyone else in the back and no one actually cares about anyone else because anything you do is just for your own benefit in the end. There's no point in trying to do anything because no matter what you do it doesn't matter because you're just going to die in the end.
He says he feels emotionless and disconnected from everything and he can't explain how he feels to anyone. He feels like he has no place in the world or society and that he's useless and just a waste of space. He feels broken and defective and alone. He thinks this is why he'll never be capable of a successful relationship. He also says he hates his whole family and all his friends, or that they aren't even his friends.
He was not like this a year ago. He just graduated from college and has been applying to a million jobs but not one of them has gotten back to him. He has no money left and is running out of options, so he feels hopeless. I know he's not devoid of emotion because all of this IS emotion, they're just all negative ones. He's dug himself into this hole of hopelessness and isolation and refuses to see anything positive and it's like he doesn't want help because it's easier to just feel sorry for yourself and chase away the one person who is actually trying to help him get better. Nothing I say has any effect though. It's all in one ear and out the other! He refuses to get help and I don't know what to do. If he'd just let me in I could give him so much love and support but he just thinks I'm in it for whatever benefits I'd get out of it or that he'll get hurt by me, and he says he doesn't even know how to let me in. I'm not a therapist so I don't know what else I can even tell him.
We just had a big fight over this because he kept treating me like shit. He doesn't care if I'm happy or sad and if I died tomorrow he'd just use that as another reason for him to be miserable. He wants to hang out with me a lot for support and a shoulder to cry on but all he does is complain about everything and it's taking its toll on me because I'm depressed too (for my own similar reasons, but a huge one is because of this whole mess). It's like he's trying to push me away and he doesn't realize why it's making me so distressed because he can't relate to anyone else's emotions. He's completely absorbed in himself. I told him that he needs to stop thinking like this because life isn't that bad and everyone isn't just a self-absorbed traitor and that life is worth living because it's beautiful but you have to put in an effort to make it that way. It's easier to give up and be miserable all the time but it doesn't have to be that way!
He's my best friend and there's no one else he can talk to on the same level as me and I feel like it's my duty to help him out of this rut somehow but I just don't know how! I can't just abandon him when he's at his lowest because then I will be a terrible friend. Just because he's being a terrible friend to me now doesn't mean that things can't be fixed. Has anyone been in this situation? What would you do?
My best friend in the whole world/"significant other" is so depressed he doesn't care about anything or anyone, including me. He says everyone is just out to stab everyone else in the back and no one actually cares about anyone else because anything you do is just for your own benefit in the end. There's no point in trying to do anything because no matter what you do it doesn't matter because you're just going to die in the end.
He says he feels emotionless and disconnected from everything and he can't explain how he feels to anyone. He feels like he has no place in the world or society and that he's useless and just a waste of space. He feels broken and defective and alone. He thinks this is why he'll never be capable of a successful relationship. He also says he hates his whole family and all his friends, or that they aren't even his friends.
He was not like this a year ago. He just graduated from college and has been applying to a million jobs but not one of them has gotten back to him. He has no money left and is running out of options, so he feels hopeless. I know he's not devoid of emotion because all of this IS emotion, they're just all negative ones. He's dug himself into this hole of hopelessness and isolation and refuses to see anything positive and it's like he doesn't want help because it's easier to just feel sorry for yourself and chase away the one person who is actually trying to help him get better. Nothing I say has any effect though. It's all in one ear and out the other! He refuses to get help and I don't know what to do. If he'd just let me in I could give him so much love and support but he just thinks I'm in it for whatever benefits I'd get out of it or that he'll get hurt by me, and he says he doesn't even know how to let me in. I'm not a therapist so I don't know what else I can even tell him.
We just had a big fight over this because he kept treating me like shit. He doesn't care if I'm happy or sad and if I died tomorrow he'd just use that as another reason for him to be miserable. He wants to hang out with me a lot for support and a shoulder to cry on but all he does is complain about everything and it's taking its toll on me because I'm depressed too (for my own similar reasons, but a huge one is because of this whole mess). It's like he's trying to push me away and he doesn't realize why it's making me so distressed because he can't relate to anyone else's emotions. He's completely absorbed in himself. I told him that he needs to stop thinking like this because life isn't that bad and everyone isn't just a self-absorbed traitor and that life is worth living because it's beautiful but you have to put in an effort to make it that way. It's easier to give up and be miserable all the time but it doesn't have to be that way!
He's my best friend and there's no one else he can talk to on the same level as me and I feel like it's my duty to help him out of this rut somehow but I just don't know how! I can't just abandon him when he's at his lowest because then I will be a terrible friend. Just because he's being a terrible friend to me now doesn't mean that things can't be fixed. Has anyone been in this situation? What would you do?