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Well this week has been pretty mellow, at least compared to normal weeks and its gotten me thinking, just how much everything and everyone has changed. But I guess I noticed how much I have really changed. A year ago I was a pretty closed off person, I had my two or three close friends, and was very particular in whom I hung out with, Now yeah I still have my few close friends but Ill hang out with other people too. I also used to be such an angry girl, and I dont know if I can really even tell you what all I was angry at and when I just was, But then I met this awesome group of people and through them I learned that yes even when you dont think so life goes on and there will always be something to smile about,be it the introduction to bleach or Runnign around throwing shit at trees. And for that I will be eternely greatful. I learned that it was alright to be yourself, becasue there would be people out there that would accept it, and mught even like it. Through this group I met someone whom had you asked me then, I would never have thought that a few short months later would have the impact they did. They became my best friend, the person I knew I could lean on, and the one person that I felt mabey I could truly trust, becasue for so long I hadnt trusted anyone, not for anything, becasue you always got hurt. The Cantina becasme like my home, I was there everynight, and couldnt imagine what a night without being there would be like. Even if we werent really doing anything it was fun becasue there was all of us just being there, and that all initself was awesome. As time went on We started to do a few outings, most including Frisbee golf (damn that was fun) And of course Dinner. There was the trips to Omaha, which of course was always an adventure with me driving. (Hey I tried not to get lost!) And everynight usually ended up in couple hour discussion in my car outside Erics house. Those conversations though they may have seemed miniscule, they did alot for me, I could open up and fianlly talk to someone I considered a friend. We went through most of the summer like that And I know at least I had a blast! It will defiantly be a summer I wont forget. My birthday came along, which is usually a time I dont like to think about becasue well I just dont and if you really know me then you know why, but for some reason this year I dodnt mind as much, pry becasue I knew I had an awesome group of friends with me this year so what could go wrong right? We Did the AI Trip which was of course a blast for the most part and Becky threw a little party for me the next weekend (Which was awesome) But it was shortly after that, that I started to lose touch with them, I still talked to eric some though. But once the month was over I didnt really see or talk to any of them, and after september I can probably count on one hand how many times I saw them all. But most imprtantly I felt as if I was losing my best friend. I know they say people grow apart and that its in some cases supposed to happen, but that didnt really prepare me for it. And I know what people will say this sounds like, becasue they've been saying it from the beginning and thats ok, becasue mabey thats how it felt. But I know that the chance I may have had is gone, and I cant go back, even if I want too. Mabey someday there will be glimmers of what the Cantina had, but until then Ill just do what Ive always done and thats survive, I seem to be good at it. But I just want all of you to know, I could never have asked for better friends. And I thank god that I had this chance to get to know you all, becasue I honestly dont know where Id be if you guys hadnt came along, Especially you Eric. So thank you, thank you for being there and thank you for caring, becasue sometimes thats all it takes.