(no subject)
Christmas is finally over, but I still need to buy more presents, but I get paid today. Then I can start saving up. My teeth still hurt. And I lost a contact so I either wear one contact or glasses. I still have a lot to do, but I'm too lazy and I hate it. I have to work tonight. I don't want to. I went to the x-mas party for work. It was alright. I wanted to see everyone how they are when they aren't working, and I did. I got drunk. The first half sucked, but then it got better. I guess. I lost my cigarettes twice, but found them so it's okay. I can't wait to start saving up to move out. I don't know where I'm going, or who's coming with me, I just want to leave. Abe pisses everywhere,. it's a bladder infection, except when he did have it, there was blood. No blood this time. I fucking hate it. No matter what happens, who does what, who says what, I'm still making mistakes one after the other. I wish I could be perfect, and throw up at someone's house crying about ex's the first time I've ever been there. I wish I could beg to date someone and then blame it on my friends when things go bad. But I'm not. I have a job, I pay for gas, not illegal drugs. I never have. Whiskey I've bought twice. I'm going back to school next year, I'll be like my mom. Who is a good person. Bad things just happen to her. You know all the poeple I know who drink and drive? And all this shit happen to her. But she knows she deserves the consequences. She accepting it, not blaming all her troubles on everyone else. I still don't understand what I did that was so wrong. Only smoking. Which I'm not the only one. And I love you Trishia, but you and Brittany went out and smoked way more than I do, and Sandy still loves you. So why me? Why the fuck me? Am I unlovable? Annoying? Sometimes I wish I never moved in here. I don't know where I would be now, but I probably wouldn't feel like crap all the time. So I'm waiting to save up enough money and move out. If nobody can wiat that long, tell me and you won't see me for a long time.