In Honor of Shits and Giggles
It's belated, but what the hell...
The Top 10 Things I Learned by Attending my Best Friend's Sister's Wedding (Where She Was Maid of Honor)
10.) Do not piss off the bride.
9.) No, I'm serious. Really. Do not piss off the bride. She's funny and nice, but scary as hell.
8.) Also, do not piss off the groom either. He too is funny and nice, but tall and will kill you and that's all.
7.) It's not always the dresses that manage to be too small, to the point where you cannot breathe. Sometimes, it's the pants of an usher.
6.) Driving in a gown is not as easy as it looks. But it is easy for the passenger, who is watching said person drive in a gown, to giggle a little under her breath (even though she's sick and feels like she's dying, truly, she's mentally recording every second of the trip that we almost got lost on since we forgot TomTom).
5.) TomTom's are helpful little navigators that you will want to smash repeatedly with a baseball bat. They may also cause you to perform a Sean Connery impression you didn't know you had in you.
4.) Underage drinking done surrounded by pious family members must be executed carefully and with precise seating positions. And quarters.
3.) Do not tickle bride's brother. Bride's brother will tickle back. And then text you while drunk, although that was admittedly more fun than being tickled.
2a.) Escorts should be talked to, unless in the event the escort is apparently more quiet and/or shy than who he is escorting. Also, southern.
2b.) Speeches are great and I'm very glad I didn't have to do one.
1.) Last, but not least, a happy marriage to Erin's sister and new husband, Jennifer and Tony! Will Erin's Maid of Honor dress ever be worn again? The world may never know...
The Top 10 Things I Learned by Attending my Best Friend's Sister's Wedding (Where She Was Maid of Honor)
10.) Do not piss off the bride.
9.) No, I'm serious. Really. Do not piss off the bride. She's funny and nice, but scary as hell.
8.) Also, do not piss off the groom either. He too is funny and nice, but tall and will kill you and that's all.
7.) It's not always the dresses that manage to be too small, to the point where you cannot breathe. Sometimes, it's the pants of an usher.
6.) Driving in a gown is not as easy as it looks. But it is easy for the passenger, who is watching said person drive in a gown, to giggle a little under her breath (even though she's sick and feels like she's dying, truly, she's mentally recording every second of the trip that we almost got lost on since we forgot TomTom).
5.) TomTom's are helpful little navigators that you will want to smash repeatedly with a baseball bat. They may also cause you to perform a Sean Connery impression you didn't know you had in you.
4.) Underage drinking done surrounded by pious family members must be executed carefully and with precise seating positions. And quarters.
3.) Do not tickle bride's brother. Bride's brother will tickle back. And then text you while drunk, although that was admittedly more fun than being tickled.
2a.) Escorts should be talked to, unless in the event the escort is apparently more quiet and/or shy than who he is escorting. Also, southern.
2b.) Speeches are great and I'm very glad I didn't have to do one.
1.) Last, but not least, a happy marriage to Erin's sister and new husband, Jennifer and Tony! Will Erin's Maid of Honor dress ever be worn again? The world may never know...