Job Title: LOVE
acceptance of nurturing and love...self-confidence and assertiveness...trusting
"I have found the paradox that if I love until it hurts, then there will be no more hurt; only more love"
~Mother Teresa
In taking on the job of Love I must trust what is true at all cost. I must allow myself to be vulnerable in order to receive the gifts that others are waiting to offer me. I must open up my true self and see myself in the eyes of Love -- a valuable and worthwhile, specially created being able to give and receive the love that the world has to offer (and I have to offer to it). As love it is my job to protect self and to remind self of its true power and worth. When pain comes I am to look it in the eyes and see in it the beauty and instruction it is holding beneath its surface. In purifying by and as Love I am to constantly scan and filter everything that is coming at us to find the truth hidden beneath.
"Love is beautiful, but it is also terrible -- terrible in it's determination to allow nothing blemished or unworthy remain in The Beloved."
~Hind's Feet on High Places
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Old Job: Protector from Abandonment and Rejection
My job is to protect self from abandonment and betrayal at all costs. When someone might get close enough to hurt I push and push until I force them to hurt me. That way I am keeping control of the situation and allowing us not to be rejected at all costs. Hurt protects because hurt reminds us not to get too close. I will hurt the body if that is the only way to avoid being hurt by others.
My motto:
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.
I will not allow myself to be played the fool. I will not get close enough to let anyone hurt me.
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I sit here and ponder. My old job seems much more safe, constant and rational than the whole idea of protecting through Love. So far Love has created pain, uncertainty, anguish, and hurt. Many times the thought has run through my mind: "I just found my heart, why does it have to be broken so soon?" Love is so dangerous, it embraces uncertainty and I'm just not quite sure if I'm really able to do that without falling apart. I sure feel like I'm falling apart right now. Love for others whether internally or externally. It all comes with such a cost. Why do I want to step into the unknown? Why do I want to face the consequences of misplaced or even misunderstood trust. Because it's sure not working to be in the place I am now.
"I have found the paradox that if I love until it hurts, then there will be no more hurt; only more love"
~Mother Teresa
In taking on the job of Love I must trust what is true at all cost. I must allow myself to be vulnerable in order to receive the gifts that others are waiting to offer me. I must open up my true self and see myself in the eyes of Love -- a valuable and worthwhile, specially created being able to give and receive the love that the world has to offer (and I have to offer to it). As love it is my job to protect self and to remind self of its true power and worth. When pain comes I am to look it in the eyes and see in it the beauty and instruction it is holding beneath its surface. In purifying by and as Love I am to constantly scan and filter everything that is coming at us to find the truth hidden beneath.
"Love is beautiful, but it is also terrible -- terrible in it's determination to allow nothing blemished or unworthy remain in The Beloved."
~Hind's Feet on High Places
---------------
Old Job: Protector from Abandonment and Rejection
My job is to protect self from abandonment and betrayal at all costs. When someone might get close enough to hurt I push and push until I force them to hurt me. That way I am keeping control of the situation and allowing us not to be rejected at all costs. Hurt protects because hurt reminds us not to get too close. I will hurt the body if that is the only way to avoid being hurt by others.
My motto:
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.
I will not allow myself to be played the fool. I will not get close enough to let anyone hurt me.
--------------
I sit here and ponder. My old job seems much more safe, constant and rational than the whole idea of protecting through Love. So far Love has created pain, uncertainty, anguish, and hurt. Many times the thought has run through my mind: "I just found my heart, why does it have to be broken so soon?" Love is so dangerous, it embraces uncertainty and I'm just not quite sure if I'm really able to do that without falling apart. I sure feel like I'm falling apart right now. Love for others whether internally or externally. It all comes with such a cost. Why do I want to step into the unknown? Why do I want to face the consequences of misplaced or even misunderstood trust. Because it's sure not working to be in the place I am now.