(no subject)
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
Why is an alarm clock going "off" when it actually turns on?
Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?
If love is blind, how can we believe in love at first sight?
Why is it that rain drops but snow falls?
Who was the first to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things, and drink whatever comes out?"
If the professor on Gilligan's island can make a radio out of a coconut, why cant he fix a hole in a boat?
Why doesn't a chicken egg taste like chicken?
Why is it that cargo is transported by ship, while a shipment is transported by car?
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
What's the opposite of opposite?
If you try to fail and succeed, what did you just do?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
Where in the nursery rhyme does it say Humpty Dumpty is an egg?
Why is it that when a person tells you there's a million stars in the universe you believe them, but if someone tells you there's wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure?
Why do you get on a bus or train but get into a car?
Why does Donald Duck wear a towel when he comes out of the shower, when he doesn't usually wear any pants?
You Know What They Say...
"Everything Comes In Threes" - Not true. In reality, every-
thing comes in ones. Sometimes, when three "ones" come in a
row, it seems like everything comes in threes. By the way,
in medieval times, it was widely believed that everything
came in twenty-sixes. They were wrong, too. It just took
them longer to recognize the pattern.
"You Can't Take It With You (when you die)" - Well..., that
depends on what it is. If it's your dark blue suit, you can
certainly take it with you. In fact, not only can you take
it with you, you can probably put some things in your pockets.
"You Learn Something New Every Day" - Actually, you learn
something old every day. Just because you've just learned it,
doesn't mean it's new. Other people already knew it, Columbus
is a good example of this.
"You Get What You Pay For" - Clearly this is not true. Have
you been shopping recently? Only a very naive person would
believe that you get what you pay for. In point of fact, if
you check your purchases carefully, you'll find that you get
whatever they feel like giving you. And if corporations get
any more powerful, you soon might not even get that.
"NICE GUYS FINISH LAST" - Not true. Studies have shown that,
on average, nice guys finish third in a field of six. Actually,
short guys finish last. By the way, in medieval times, it was
widely believed that nice guys finished twenty-sixth. You can
see how limited those people were.
Why is an alarm clock going "off" when it actually turns on?
Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?
If love is blind, how can we believe in love at first sight?
Why is it that rain drops but snow falls?
Who was the first to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things, and drink whatever comes out?"
If the professor on Gilligan's island can make a radio out of a coconut, why cant he fix a hole in a boat?
Why doesn't a chicken egg taste like chicken?
Why is it that cargo is transported by ship, while a shipment is transported by car?
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
What's the opposite of opposite?
If you try to fail and succeed, what did you just do?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
Where in the nursery rhyme does it say Humpty Dumpty is an egg?
Why is it that when a person tells you there's a million stars in the universe you believe them, but if someone tells you there's wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure?
Why do you get on a bus or train but get into a car?
Why does Donald Duck wear a towel when he comes out of the shower, when he doesn't usually wear any pants?
You Know What They Say...
"Everything Comes In Threes" - Not true. In reality, every-
thing comes in ones. Sometimes, when three "ones" come in a
row, it seems like everything comes in threes. By the way,
in medieval times, it was widely believed that everything
came in twenty-sixes. They were wrong, too. It just took
them longer to recognize the pattern.
"You Can't Take It With You (when you die)" - Well..., that
depends on what it is. If it's your dark blue suit, you can
certainly take it with you. In fact, not only can you take
it with you, you can probably put some things in your pockets.
"You Learn Something New Every Day" - Actually, you learn
something old every day. Just because you've just learned it,
doesn't mean it's new. Other people already knew it, Columbus
is a good example of this.
"You Get What You Pay For" - Clearly this is not true. Have
you been shopping recently? Only a very naive person would
believe that you get what you pay for. In point of fact, if
you check your purchases carefully, you'll find that you get
whatever they feel like giving you. And if corporations get
any more powerful, you soon might not even get that.
"NICE GUYS FINISH LAST" - Not true. Studies have shown that,
on average, nice guys finish third in a field of six. Actually,
short guys finish last. By the way, in medieval times, it was
widely believed that nice guys finished twenty-sixth. You can
see how limited those people were.