Tragedy within hope
I am dictating this entry through voice to text because I simply don’t have the will to type at the moment. The more I learn about Lacee the more excited I get because so far our answers are matching up with one another right down the middle. So it cuts a little bit deeper than usual knowing that she has eyes for another person and relegates me to no more than a casual time killer at work. She does not even generally reply to messages but appears to look at them and then either mutes or ignores our conversation. So what is a guy to do after all… I was able to be completely devoid of any lies when I told her about Valentine’s Day and when I told her that I had a crush on someone that I could not approach. I just could not be 100% in telling her everything that was truthful because I know she is not interested and that it would jeopardize any future communication with her. It’s even hard using talk to text to talk about this because the prospects of failure make my heart beat so strongly that I feel like I am going to have a heart attack because of my anxiety over the situation.
I know what my next words to her will be when I see her and I know what I will say when she asks what they’re about… And so basically I draw a line in the sand without officially doing it. But at least I’ll be able to out right verbally tell her how beautiful she is to me even if she does not know it and even if she can never crack that riddle and find out.
I am slowly and piece by piece divulging the true code in order for all the encrypted message components that I gave out in December, but if she takes enough interest to pay attention to it then the question is will she catch on to that clue if she sees what the unveiled message looks like?
I am very morose and very depressed it’s as cut and dry as that. I long for companionship and to show someone the inner workings of my life and to try and help them improve their own... But that takes a unique and special person, and even though I believe I have found one... It becomes ironic that they don’t even notice me.
We do talk on a regular basis at work now but getting her to be interested enough to talk to me outside of work is a complete and utter struggle which is where the title of this entry takes it’s true shape.
I know what my next words to her will be when I see her and I know what I will say when she asks what they’re about… And so basically I draw a line in the sand without officially doing it. But at least I’ll be able to out right verbally tell her how beautiful she is to me even if she does not know it and even if she can never crack that riddle and find out.
I am slowly and piece by piece divulging the true code in order for all the encrypted message components that I gave out in December, but if she takes enough interest to pay attention to it then the question is will she catch on to that clue if she sees what the unveiled message looks like?
I am very morose and very depressed it’s as cut and dry as that. I long for companionship and to show someone the inner workings of my life and to try and help them improve their own... But that takes a unique and special person, and even though I believe I have found one... It becomes ironic that they don’t even notice me.
We do talk on a regular basis at work now but getting her to be interested enough to talk to me outside of work is a complete and utter struggle which is where the title of this entry takes it’s true shape.