Kiss Me, Mummy (12/12)
Title: Kiss Me, Mummy
Author:
hopelesswreck
Prompt: The Mummy
Character/Pairing(s): Jack, Ianto, Owen, Tosh, John Hart, Gwen Cooper; Jack/Ianto, slight Owen/Tosh
Rating: Teen
Warnings: Slight swearing, mild violence
Spoilers: TW- to mid-season 2, before Something Borrowed
Word Count: 49,600
Disclaimer: The Mummy is property of Universal Pictures. Torchwood is property of BBC.
Summary: An adventure involving time travel, a mysterious golden key, a treasure map, and--kissing?--oh and there's a mummy in there too...somewhere. You know-- Torchwood.
Beta: XCandypopX
Author's Notes: Written for
reel_torchwood . Most dialogue taken from the film The Mummy (1999) but with a Torchwood flare. Most likely a bit of a crack fic so enter with an open mind-
Chapter 12
Jack awoke, slowly and sleepily to a frantic, wide eyed stare under a fringe of dark bangs. A voice was speaking at him, though in actuality, it was more screaming than talking.
"Gwen-" he croaked her name. The wonderful and beautiful Gwen Cooper, she was-here. Or rather, Jack thought as he moved his gaze upward to the familiar surroundings of the archives, they were finally here. Back at the Hub, back at the Torchwood base.
"I leave for a day and find you lot all collapsed when I come back. A girl can't call in one sick day without you deciding to play dead on me-" Her eyes looked misty and Jack reached out to grab her arm.
"Calm down, Gwen. I’m okay we're-" He sat up to look around and was relieved by the sight of his team, rousing and delirious, but all accounted for, "-okay."
"Yeah, well you certainly didn’t look okay. I seriously thought you were dead."
Jack smiled at Gwen reassuringly and she helped him up.
"Can we save this cack till after I've had a nice, long bath?" Owen grumbled as he rose and massaged his head. He gave one look at Tosh and his anger seemed to double as he looked to the ground irritably.
"You'll have to excuse Owen,” Ianto said. “He and Tosh had a moment and I think he's still a bit shell shocked,” he helped Tosh to her feet.
"A moment? And I missed it?" Gwen said with a pout.
"It was not a bloody moment," Owen said. "I've had a sexier time with my bloody post-lady I'll have you know."
"I'll bet you have," Jack smirked.
"Oh come on, Owen," Tosh said, a faint color on her cheeks. "It wasn't that bad."
"It was-" Owen seemed to search for the words, growing irritable he threw up his hands.
Tosh turned away with an unreadable look and Gwen opened her mouth, no doubt to lecture Owen, but Ianto gave her a look and she decided against it.
“We all seem to be safe and sound,” Jack pointed out, winking to Ianto. “Organs and all.”
“But our clothes are the same as when we left,” Tosh noted, realizing she was wearing her jeans and not the gown she’d been in moments before. “Was it a dream?”
“More like a shared hallucination,” Ianto said.
“You were all here when I found you,” Gwen explained. “You were all unmoving for quite a while. That’s why I thought you were-” she fell off uncomfortably.
“Well whatever it was, I’m just bloody glad it’s over,” Owen said, “Figures the bloody solution would be a bloody snog though.” he looked at Jack accusingly.
“Welcome to Torchwood,” Jack offered back with a shrug.
“What?” Gwen asked, looking between the two men. “Are you saying you two-.
Owen gaped at her, “Of bloody course not. I have some standards, thank you.” he shuddered at the idea.
Gwen looked relieved.
“Do you suppose any of it was real?” Tosh asked. She shivered, “It sure felt real.”
“Don’t know,” Ianto said. “But I’m glad we didn’t really have to find out.”
“You mean whether or not having your bloody organs pickled would affect you here?” Owen asked with a sneer.
Ianto gave him a level stare.
Owen held his hands up, “Don’t get so brassed. I’m not the one who raised a three thousand year old psychopath-”
Jack turned to Tosh with an especially wide grin, “Have you always had those amazing battle warrior princess skills? You’ve been holding on out me, haven’t you?”
Tosh looked even more embarrassed, “Jack-stop it.”
“You were pretty amazing,” Ianto joined in with a small smile and gently nudged her shoulder.
Owen huffed, “Her? I’m the one who saved the day, remember? She tried to kill us.”
“And you almost got us killed with that book,” Ianto pointed out to Owen.
“And you unleashed a bloody mummy,” Owen threw back.
“Children, children, let’s stop playing the blame game,” Jack said. “Unless there’s a naked make out party involved afterwards-“
“Sorry guys, I didn’t mean to hurt anyone-” Tosh started.
“Of course you didn’t,” Jack assured her. “Owen’s just mad that you were more badass than him.”
Owen opened his mouth for a rebuttal, but stopped, looking around he realized, “Aren’t we missing one? Where’s that sodding Captain Hart?”
Gwen's eyes widened. "John Hart?"
"Yeah, he wasn't here when you found us?" Jack asked in confusion.
Gwen shook her head, "No, trust me I think I'd notice that prat anywhere."
"Jack." Ianto's voice brought them all to the golden puzzle box sitting on a table. It was blossomed into its eight sided key shape and was glimmering in the light, "Look at this."
"It's been sitting there since I got here," Gwen said. "I was afraid to touch it."
"It's a good thing you didn't," Jack said. "But it does beg the question of what it is."
Owen snorted, “As long as there’s no bloody book for Ianto to read out of, I think we’ll be fine.”
“I don’t know,” Tosh ventured, “John activated it by touching it and it sent us-wherever we were. I wouldn’t risk it getting into the wrong hands-again.”
Jack studied the key carefully, not wanting to touch it. Ianto stared at it too. “I’ve never seen it before,” Ianto mumbled. He grew irritable. He was supposed to know every single artifact that came in and out of Torchwood Three, “Why have I never seen it before?” He scooped it carefully into a container, until it could be dealt with properly.
There was a blip from Jack's wrist strap and Jack stared at it in surprise. He pressed a button and the flickering image of John Hart appeared. "Well that was fun Jack, wouldn't you say? I would say let's do it again, but I think one ride was enough for now. I'm sure you're wondering where I am-don't. And don't try to find me-you won't." he held his wristwatch as if to end the message, then stopped, "And put a better lock on your damn vault will you-" John blew a kiss, "Tootles."
“Bloody wanker, I hope a mummy comes and eats him in his sleep.”
“Alright that’s it,” Gwen said, hands on her hips in a stance that said she definitely wasn’t backing down She eyed the three men and one woman moving from one to the next with a heavy stare. “Somebody better tell me what the bloody hell happened. Mummies and pickled organs and books, not to mention John bleeding Hart.” Her last look was for Jack, “Start from the beginning.”
“Could take a while,” Jack said as if to detour her, suddenly a bit too tired to deal with a determined Gwen Cooper.
A dark brow rose under Gwen’s black fringe, ‘and’ her look said.
“I suppose I’ll go get some coffee then,” Ianto said before turning to leave.
Somedays Jack cursed the man’s efficiency, but while he scowled at Ianto’s actions, he couldn’t help staring, wanting so badly to get that man out of his suit, even more so as he watched that spectacular arse in motion. He held back a groan as Gwen settled herself against a wall, readying herself for the long hall.
“Go on then,” Gwen prompted. “Spill.”
Tosh nearly rolled her eyes at the woman’s pushiness and Owen mumbled a string of curses and wisely left the area.
Jack, as usual, gave Gwen her way.
***
“So,” Ianto ventured as Owen, Tosh and Gwen vacated the Hub and Jack was hauling him toward the stairs and back to his room. After several scans from Owen it was decided they were all perfectly alright, further putting the mystery on exactly what the hell had happened to them. “I’ve been thinking-”
“I like it when you think, it’s very sexy,” Jack gave up the notion of making it to the bed and just started unbuttoning the man’s shirt right there.
“Jack, I’m being serious-“
Jack smirked, but didn’t stop his movements, brushing the warm skin peeking out from underneath the fabric with his fingertips, “You usually are, too serious, in fact.”
“It’s-” Ianto stopped. “Why do you think John was here to begin with? He looked like he was searching for something and I don’t think it was that key.”
Jack nodded, “He was, said I stole something from him.”
“Did you?”
Jack gave a half shrug, “Don’t know, maybe.”
“What if he shows up again?”
Jack smiled, “I’ll shoot him.”
“That seems to be your solution for quite a lot of things recently.”
Jack murmured a happy agreement, “I like using my gun.”
“You know-”
Jack hummed against him.
Ianto wasn’t sure he wanted to get into a discussion about John Hart right then, not with Jack’s hands moving further down, shooting a tingling sensation down his spine. He was pretty tired and Jack would no doubt shut down at whatever question he asked anyway. “Owen brought up a good point, why do you think it was kissing that, pardon the cliché, broke the spell?”
Jack drew back and observed him, he finally shrugged, “Well at the risk of sounding even more cliché maybe since it was love that made the curse it was also love that broke it. So in a sense when we kissed each other it broke whatever was over us too.”
Ianto snorted, “What like true love’s kiss? Jack, you’ve been reading too many fairy tales.”
Jack shrugged, “There’s different kinds of love, Ianto. Maybe it wasn’t true love per say, but the feelings we have for each other as comrades as a team.”
Ianto eyes dimmed somewhat, he looked away and swallowed, “Of course you would say that-”
“I only meant-” Jack tried.
“I know what you meant,” Ianto sighed. “It’s okay Jack, I get it. Though I wonder if I had kissed Tosh or Owen would it have still worked?”
“That I would have liked to see,” Jack teased.
“I’m sure you would have,” Ianto agreed with a small smile. “Though I suppose if Gwen were there it would have been-”
Jack grabbed his arm and pulled him closer, “Stop it,” he hissed, slamming their mouths together.
Ianto sighed, it was no use bringing it up and he really didn’t feel like fighting about Gwen Cooper or John Hart at the moment. Dealing with Jack Harkness’ ex and would be conquest wasn’t something Ianto had the strength for. “I was sort of thinking about learning Egyptian,” he said suddenly.
Jack’s hands froze; his eyes met Ianto’s, his smile seemed to brighten tenfold as he moved his mouth to
Ianto’s neck, “You’re not nearly as funny as you think you are, Ianto Jones,” he murmured.
“And you sir, are not nearly as charming as you think you are,” Ianto replied crisply. “Though I do suppose it’s a good thing I’ve kept all my organs. It would be a shame if you had to resurrect me as a mummy.”
Jack grinned and kissed him, trailing his mouth down his chest, “You know I would if I had to.”
Ianto snorted over a laugh, “No you wouldn’t.”
Jack persisted, “I would-”
“No Jack, you wouldn’t.” Jack Harkness would never take that kind of risk, not for him.
Jack shook his head, “Can we go back to talking about how charming I am?” he asked, capturing Ianto’s mouth once more.
Neither man could see the golden box glowing brightly inside the container. The key shook and shifted before finally closing. Not that it would have mattered if it the object’s closing had happened right before them, their eyes, hands and lips were otherwise distracted.
“For the record, I meant what I said.” Jack whispered.
Ianto let Jack have his way, holding back his return words of so did I.
Somewhere an ancient voice whispered the same words Imhotep had said before his demise-
“Death is only the beginning.”
END
Ending notes-
***
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