I think my heart is out to get me
Why? why did he have to go and bring all this shit up tonight? it was such a good night, I was fine, wasn't depressed. and now I'm fucking sitting here crying and I can't understand why I let a guy get to me like this. but I love him, I really do. and it's pathetic and immature and I just need to move on and I can't. why can't I? why can't I just look at him and have all these feelings gone? It's all I want. I just want to not hurt anymore and to know that I can actually have a serious relationship without the risk of me cheating. I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm giving up on finding that person that will make me happy for awhile. Giving up until I know that I can be faithful. wonder how long that will take.