sniffle
well to day wasnt as productive as i wanted it to be, oh well there is always tomorrow...
i was looking at some stuff in a box in my room when i was cleaning it.. and what do you know i came across soem things of zerks..and the letter he had written me befor he died.. i just sat there and cried adn cried and cired.i guess i never really let it sink in that he was gone, i just wanted the pain to stop. so i blocked it aLL, i guess it was a bad thing to do and i know i shouldnt have but it just seemed easier to not deal with it than to deal with it then....i knwo its not my fault that he shot himself, but jesus if i would have just kept my mouth shut... maybe..just maybe he would still be alive and i would still have my best friend. i just dont get why i always have to open my mouth... i just dont get it.....and know that im feeling bad about this stuff, i can go to any of my friends because im grounded adn the ONE person who can actually make me feel better, i cant hang ou twith because of me not being able to go to the mall anymore...holy shit...
rite now i think im going to go curl up in a corner and cry...
i was looking at some stuff in a box in my room when i was cleaning it.. and what do you know i came across soem things of zerks..and the letter he had written me befor he died.. i just sat there and cried adn cried and cired.i guess i never really let it sink in that he was gone, i just wanted the pain to stop. so i blocked it aLL, i guess it was a bad thing to do and i know i shouldnt have but it just seemed easier to not deal with it than to deal with it then....i knwo its not my fault that he shot himself, but jesus if i would have just kept my mouth shut... maybe..just maybe he would still be alive and i would still have my best friend. i just dont get why i always have to open my mouth... i just dont get it.....and know that im feeling bad about this stuff, i can go to any of my friends because im grounded adn the ONE person who can actually make me feel better, i cant hang ou twith because of me not being able to go to the mall anymore...holy shit...
rite now i think im going to go curl up in a corner and cry...