everything on my mind...
Wow...what can i say..this month has been really hard for me...Im glad that it is almost over...hopefully the up coming months will be better. I dunno I've had so much on my mind lately...Im emotionally breaking down..and i just dont know what to do with myself...ya know....Im really trying to stay strong and be positive...but how can i be when so much has been changing and happening...Im not trying to get sympathy or anything..i just expressing my thoughts and feelings..b/c i need to get it out...well first of all with work, school, studying..and trying to make time for friends has been a challange..but what has been challanging most of all is my family.... My grandfather has pancreas cancer ,and stomach cancer...soo sad since he is only 70. I wish i got a chance to spend time with him more..but since he lives all the way down in North Carolina..its so hard...im going to see him next week..which i wanna see him.but on the other had ..i dont wanna see him sick....i think i might burst out crying....but i have to stay strong... the last time i saw which was 3 years ago...he was healthy..happy guy...who weighed probably 230 pounds...i guess now he hes only 140 pounds b/c he cant even eat..its just sucks..and i feel like they arent doing anything for him...:sigh: i just hope i get to see him...and tell him how much i love him....
OK..soo yeah..my dad...hmm hes sick too...he has had a cold for awhile..but now its gotten wicked bad..ya know..and hes been in and out of the doctors..and he has lumps on his neck.they dont know what is wrong with him...Yesterday he was soo bad coughing sooooo hard..me and my mom MADE him stay home from work....let me remind u hasnt taking a sick day in 11 years...so hes a lil stubborn and doesnt like to say that he is sick...I think he pulled something in his back..so he couldnt even stand up straight...hes coughing sooo badly..that hes gagging... i looked in his eyes and i could see that he was in pain. he looks soo sad..and helpless...and i just wanted to help him and make him feel better... but i cant..they just dont know whats wrong with him...but i guess hes going back to the doctors..and he's at work tonite...ahhhh soo mad at him..i know he doesnt feel well..but he just keeps on working...
i dunno..im just sooo preying that my dad and grandpa gets better....this is taking a emotional strain on me and my mom...just taking one day at time...living life..enjoying it...not taking anything for granted... and just being thankful for everything i have....Im just trying to stay strong...but umm yeah thats it...peace out
OK..soo yeah..my dad...hmm hes sick too...he has had a cold for awhile..but now its gotten wicked bad..ya know..and hes been in and out of the doctors..and he has lumps on his neck.they dont know what is wrong with him...Yesterday he was soo bad coughing sooooo hard..me and my mom MADE him stay home from work....let me remind u hasnt taking a sick day in 11 years...so hes a lil stubborn and doesnt like to say that he is sick...I think he pulled something in his back..so he couldnt even stand up straight...hes coughing sooo badly..that hes gagging... i looked in his eyes and i could see that he was in pain. he looks soo sad..and helpless...and i just wanted to help him and make him feel better... but i cant..they just dont know whats wrong with him...but i guess hes going back to the doctors..and he's at work tonite...ahhhh soo mad at him..i know he doesnt feel well..but he just keeps on working...
i dunno..im just sooo preying that my dad and grandpa gets better....this is taking a emotional strain on me and my mom...just taking one day at time...living life..enjoying it...not taking anything for granted... and just being thankful for everything i have....Im just trying to stay strong...but umm yeah thats it...peace out