Change
Change is scary. Everyone knows that.
We humans (at least, according to Charles Darwin, and no one's going to argue with a 19th-century naturalist, rightly so) are meant to adapt; that's what we do. But that doesn't mean it's not painful to let things go, to watch your carefully structured facade crumble because someone breaks it down. It happens. It's inevitable. So why does it still frighten us so much?
See, I've been thinking about this because I keep thinking my life has to change soon. Sooner or later (preferably sooner, but at this point I'll take whatever I can get), something has to change. I can't go on like this: passable social life, total lack of anything even remotely resembling a love life, good grades, passable soccer abilities...what else is there? Goodness, there has to be something else.
I had this terrifying dream the other night. Basically, I dreamt the entire year away, dreamt of Homecoming and the SATS and getting my license. And when I woke up, I realized that this year could be exactly like last year. Same friends, same nonexistent love life, same grades. And I knew right away that was the last thing I wanted.
So then, I guess that what's scarier than change is no change at all.
Love,
Claire
P.S. I'm now obsessed with American's Next Top Model, Nikita, and Covert Affairs. Yes, I obviously have an addiction problem. But am I going to stop it? Heck no! :)
P.P.S. rumblyinmytumbly2.blogspot.com/2010/09/want.html I love you girlie. And you will get him, I promise. Because you of all people deserve to.
We humans (at least, according to Charles Darwin, and no one's going to argue with a 19th-century naturalist, rightly so) are meant to adapt; that's what we do. But that doesn't mean it's not painful to let things go, to watch your carefully structured facade crumble because someone breaks it down. It happens. It's inevitable. So why does it still frighten us so much?
See, I've been thinking about this because I keep thinking my life has to change soon. Sooner or later (preferably sooner, but at this point I'll take whatever I can get), something has to change. I can't go on like this: passable social life, total lack of anything even remotely resembling a love life, good grades, passable soccer abilities...what else is there? Goodness, there has to be something else.
I had this terrifying dream the other night. Basically, I dreamt the entire year away, dreamt of Homecoming and the SATS and getting my license. And when I woke up, I realized that this year could be exactly like last year. Same friends, same nonexistent love life, same grades. And I knew right away that was the last thing I wanted.
So then, I guess that what's scarier than change is no change at all.
Love,
Claire
P.S. I'm now obsessed with American's Next Top Model, Nikita, and Covert Affairs. Yes, I obviously have an addiction problem. But am I going to stop it? Heck no! :)
P.P.S. rumblyinmytumbly2.blogspot.com/2010/09/want.html I love you girlie. And you will get him, I promise. Because you of all people deserve to.