(no subject)
i can't stand it.
i can't stand it.
i can't FUCKING stand it.
i thought he was telling the truth when he told me HE was the one texting me.
it was REALLY just some dumb bitch he got and told what to say.
now i know, now i know it isn't true. he lied to me.
or at least that's all i can believe right now.
i saw joey on the train to san diego.
yeah, joey, that ASS who KEEPS telling people HE'S the one who denied chelsea and that I was all ovr his shit when we KINDA hooked up that one time. psh... yeah right.
so i say, OH MY GOD. and i started shaking. OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD i hate you so much!
can i sit next to you?
so i did. for an hour and a half.
and he tells me, oh yeah i heard that stephen and his girlfriend called you.
i was like, i don't think he has a girlfriend, but that's exactly what happened.
oh really? he doesn't have a girlfriend? then how was i hang out with both of them last night.
i want to kill myself. i want to kill myself. i want to KILL MYSELF.
well at least in that moment.
and a little now.
i can't handle this. not at all.
i cannot escape this ASSHOLE who would DO SOMETHING so FUCKED up like that.
and i have to some how remember him for the rest of his life. as my 1st.
i am so mad. but i'm crying. i wish he was a good person. someone i could at least have liked to be friends with some day.
now i can't stop crying thinking about how he took SUCH advantage of my kindness.
i don't want to be kind anymore.
no one here is kind.
i wish i could be as cruel as they are to me.
i can't stand it.
i can't FUCKING stand it.
i thought he was telling the truth when he told me HE was the one texting me.
it was REALLY just some dumb bitch he got and told what to say.
now i know, now i know it isn't true. he lied to me.
or at least that's all i can believe right now.
i saw joey on the train to san diego.
yeah, joey, that ASS who KEEPS telling people HE'S the one who denied chelsea and that I was all ovr his shit when we KINDA hooked up that one time. psh... yeah right.
so i say, OH MY GOD. and i started shaking. OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD i hate you so much!
can i sit next to you?
so i did. for an hour and a half.
and he tells me, oh yeah i heard that stephen and his girlfriend called you.
i was like, i don't think he has a girlfriend, but that's exactly what happened.
oh really? he doesn't have a girlfriend? then how was i hang out with both of them last night.
i want to kill myself. i want to kill myself. i want to KILL MYSELF.
well at least in that moment.
and a little now.
i can't handle this. not at all.
i cannot escape this ASSHOLE who would DO SOMETHING so FUCKED up like that.
and i have to some how remember him for the rest of his life. as my 1st.
i am so mad. but i'm crying. i wish he was a good person. someone i could at least have liked to be friends with some day.
now i can't stop crying thinking about how he took SUCH advantage of my kindness.
i don't want to be kind anymore.
no one here is kind.
i wish i could be as cruel as they are to me.