(no subject)
to me, this is the beginning to a perfect day.
incense burning, will oldham playing on pandora radio, soggy cereal and plenty of time to waste before i have to go to work. it just seems like the perfect combination. i don't have to try to feel normal, to feel good, it just comes naturally.
it seems like natural highs these days are so rare lately. i think it's becoming a commodity almost, you know. everyone just has to have it, but no one really does.
the other day stephen and i went to the park, took pictures, and just roamed around. then we got cha, and earlier that day we met up with kendall and ashley, two of stephen's friends who we smoked with and then had breakfast with at the shore house in newport. then we went to my house, got bbq chicken pizza to make, some candy for the movie, and oranges. then we went to my play, got in the cuzzi and then went back and made pizza and cookies.
that was not even a good day. The whole time stephen and i were fighting. in target, in henry's where i got the oranges, in the jacuzzi, all the way back from the jacuzzi, in the shower, in the kitchen... we just fought the WHOLE time.
it was so freakin annoying!!!!!!!! like, i like him a lot, no i don't know if i love him, but he's just too much for me to handle sometimes. i just hate being with him when i know there's someone out there who could give me back what i give him.
i am at the point where i feel like i just want to be friends with him. really. that's where i am right now. i don't need to be dating him to be getting from him what I'm getting now. i'm fine with no sex, i'm fine with no kissing, i can be just friends.
but he can't and that's why we're still together.
does that seem normal?
i want to be in his life so badly that i'll settle for being his 'love interest' instead of his friend? isn't it normally the other way around? you're his friend instead of his love interest? because he doesn't feel that way about you.
complicatedddddddddddd
incense burning, will oldham playing on pandora radio, soggy cereal and plenty of time to waste before i have to go to work. it just seems like the perfect combination. i don't have to try to feel normal, to feel good, it just comes naturally.
it seems like natural highs these days are so rare lately. i think it's becoming a commodity almost, you know. everyone just has to have it, but no one really does.
the other day stephen and i went to the park, took pictures, and just roamed around. then we got cha, and earlier that day we met up with kendall and ashley, two of stephen's friends who we smoked with and then had breakfast with at the shore house in newport. then we went to my house, got bbq chicken pizza to make, some candy for the movie, and oranges. then we went to my play, got in the cuzzi and then went back and made pizza and cookies.
that was not even a good day. The whole time stephen and i were fighting. in target, in henry's where i got the oranges, in the jacuzzi, all the way back from the jacuzzi, in the shower, in the kitchen... we just fought the WHOLE time.
it was so freakin annoying!!!!!!!! like, i like him a lot, no i don't know if i love him, but he's just too much for me to handle sometimes. i just hate being with him when i know there's someone out there who could give me back what i give him.
i am at the point where i feel like i just want to be friends with him. really. that's where i am right now. i don't need to be dating him to be getting from him what I'm getting now. i'm fine with no sex, i'm fine with no kissing, i can be just friends.
but he can't and that's why we're still together.
does that seem normal?
i want to be in his life so badly that i'll settle for being his 'love interest' instead of his friend? isn't it normally the other way around? you're his friend instead of his love interest? because he doesn't feel that way about you.
complicatedddddddddddd